Dog Time?

Bubblegum5586 · January 2015

Hi Ladies... looking for some advice.

H and I have been married 18 months but have lived together for 5 years. Mostly in apartments and we have had our 2 cats (who we love immensely!) I always assumed when we bought a house we would get a dog. We both grew up with a family dog and are well aware of the commitment.

We bought our house 6 months ago and we still feel like we aren't quite ready for a dog. The cats give us tons of love and are relatively low maintenance (although had a recent vet bill of $1500!).

I will randomly get these urges to get a dog, but I just don't know if we are ready yet! We have a small house (1000 sq ft but a full basement the same size- unfinished currently). A small yard (quarter acre) with no fence. Although we live in a nice neighborhood where everyone is always walking their dog around.

I want a medium dog - 40-55 lbs, pref some sort of pittbull mix, and would be 1yr -2yr when we adopt.

We want to start a family in a year or 2... so is it better to get the dog before or after? We visit H's family a lot overnight so having a dog would make that harder. But I have a lot of people say to get a dog before kids... its a good stepping stone in responsibility.

As I typed this out... I think I talked myself out of it....

Ladies with dogs... can you share your transition of when you got your dog and things you would have done differently?

Liatris2010 · January 2015

If you feel like you aren't quite ready, maybe you aren't ready. Can you forest for a local rescue? It is a shorter time committment and might help you decide.

landa10315 · January 2015

My fiancé didn't grow up with a dog, so it took a little convincing on my part. I dont believe you're ever 100% ready. My fiancé definitely wasn't, but he knew I wanted a dog desperately, so he agreed. He's absolutely in love now. My dog was a young rescue of 3.5 months and he's 2 years now. We just adopted an 8 month old pit mix a few weeks ago.

I'm happy with our decision to have dogs before kids. It showed me a lot about my fiancé and how he interacts with a living being that he has to care for. It made me actually feel amazing about choosing him to spend the rest of my life with. I also think it would be a lot harder to put in the time to train a dog after having a kid.

Having a dog made us tighten up our schedules a bit, but fortunately with our jobs it works out very well.

penguin44 · January 2015

I don't have kids, but I will say that everyone I know that had kids and got a dog within a few years hates their dog. It is just another thing to take care of, and they want to spend all of their time on their kids. They have told me that they wish they had waited until their kids were older to get a dog.

I feel like if you get one before kids you will have time to train it. If you wait until after kids, you may never get one because you will have other things to worry about.

maeday2 · January 2015

My dog found me. He literally walked off the street into my heart. I tried like hell to find his owner and no one came forward. I personally wouldn't have made a conscious decision to get a dog at this point in my life since I'm about to move across the state and life will be different. However, I fell in love with him and will do whatever it takes to accommodate him because I decided to take on the responsibility.

I think the main thing is to realize there WILL be a transition phase. It may suck at first until you both get on a schedule. Just be sure you're ready to commit to another life first.

lovegood90 · January 2015

I don't have a dog or kids, but my parents had a dog before my sister was born and said it was so incredibly difficult to manage taking care of both.

The dog unfortunately passed away soon after, but they didn't get a dog again until I was around 7-8 years old. They said it was easier to wait until kids are more grown, but I'm sure everyone is different.

luckya23 · January 2015

My sister resented her dogs after she had a baby. One actually did bite the kid when he fell on him while the dog was sleeping - so they "had to" get rid of it. I would wait and see how you feel after kids.

I said I was going to wait to get another dog until we decided if we were having kids, but I ended up adopting an 18 month old dog - oops! That dog will very likely outlast my fertility.

theartistformerlyknownas · January 2015

I don't have kids yet, but I think if you wait to get a dog until after you have kids, you won't be ready to take on the work of training it until your youngest is about 4 or 5. I think it would be a lot easier to have the dog first, and get them to the point of not needing a constant watchful eye, before you have kids.

H and I have two dogs now, and want to have kids soon, but we've agreed that if either of our dogs goes sooner than we'd hope for (one is 4 with a lifespan of about 12; the other is 8 or 9 with a lifespan of 15-20), we'd put off getting a new one until the kids are a little more self-sufficient so that we could give the puppy the attention it would need (and not burn ourselves out).

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

Yikes all this is freaking me out. We were planning to get a dog this Spring/Summer. I will be delivering in the Fall. Probably going to need to re-think that....

maeday2 · January 2015

FSIL has 2 children under the age of 4. They have gotten so many dogs in the past few years and then re-homed them shortly after. The dogs act out because they don't get the attention, training, or exercise they need.

It's really about committing to the dog. You have to be prepared to put in the time to train and exercise the dog.

FI and I both want our children to grow up in a household with a dog. My dog is older, so we'll just have to asses if a dog fits in our household by the time we want children.

blabla89 · January 2015

Liatris2010 said:

If you feel like you aren't quite ready, maybe you aren't ready. Can you forest for a local rescue? It is a shorter time committment and might help you decide.

This is a great idea, and (at least where I live) there are many organizations looking for foster homes for animals.

luckya23 · January 2015

blabla89 said:

Liatris2010 said:

If you feel like you aren't quite ready, maybe you aren't ready. Can you forest for a local rescue? It is a shorter time committment and might help you decide.

This is a great idea, and (at least where I live) there are many organizations looking for foster homes for animals.

I would not foster a dog unless you decide one way or the other. Too much risk of falling in love with one specific dog, even if you're not really ready.

Yup, happened to my parents, and then me. Fostering - ie, giving them up after taking care of them - is NOT EASY.

huskypuppy14 · January 2015

We just got a puppy in November. (See my avatar, he kind of looks like that!) My husband never had a dog growing up, but always wanted one. I told him we couldn't get a dog until we were married and had a house. We bought our house in May, got married in June and got the dog in November.

It's definitely an adjustment. It works for us because we have different schedules, so unless we go out or something, the dog is only home for 3 days a week for about 4 hours at a time. He's smart, and we enrolled him in obedience training right away. He's a puppy, so he's chewing on everything, and had destroyed most of his toys and a few beds.

We want to start TTC at the end of this summer, so the dog would be almost 2 at the youngest so he'll be out of the puppy stage, when we have our first child.

A lot of rescues don't recommend you getting a new dog with children under 5.

SJM7538 · January 2015

I second everything everyone else said. I have four
dogs and do a lot of work with rescue groups. and they are work. a lot. my advice is either get one now while you are child free and have time to committ to training him. that way you have a well behaved pup when baby come. or wait until you have kids and the kids are older. I have both friends and family that got dogs and then had kids a few years later and got rid of the dogs Bc they were "too much work." well duh! it's a living being and they don't come trained. my sister has a three year old and a second on the way and wanted to get a puppy. I told her if she tried I would call the rescue and tell them not to adopt to her bc I know what would happen in six months to a year.

sorry got off track on a tangent. you have animals and clearly know they are a commitment and you are smart for thinking it through. I will say though that my dogs are a lot more work than my cat. fostering may not be a bad idea for you. unless
you turn Into a "foster failure" and keep the dog he you fall in love with him.

charlottesmom0626 · January 2015

I had no intention of getting a dog.

I signed up as a volunteer fostering kittens that were too small for the shelter. One day they called me and asked if it was possible for me to take a dog instead because she had kennel cough and couldn't be with other dogs.

Three days later I was a failed foster parent.

I didn't think I was ready: fresh out of college in my first apartment by myself, but I made a commitment and changed my life for her. When I was really in my "broke post-college" phase I didn't go to happy hour so I could buy her food and toys..

If you really want a dog, you can be ready.

SJM7538 · January 2015

charlottesmom0626 said:
I had no intention of getting a dog.

I signed up as a volunteer fostering kittens that were too small for the shelter. One day they called me and asked if it was possible for me to take a dog instead because she had kennel cough and couldn't be with other dogs.

Three days later I was a failed foster parent.

I didn't think I was ready: fresh out of college in my first apartment by myself, but I made a commitment and changed my life for her. When I was really in my "broke post-college" phase I didn't go to happy hour so I could buy her food and toys..

If you really want a dog, you can be ready.

and you are my favorite type of person in the entire world for someone who does reacue work! and I want to name my future daughter Charlotte so I like you even more!

erinlin25 · January 2015

H & I are both dog people. We have been wanting a dog for years now, but lived in apartments and then with MIL for a year. We moved into our own house last year and we just got a dog at the end of September. While we were not looking per se we knew we wanted a dog and this one became available and pretty much fell into our lap. Since we lived in a house we said said OK (and the fact that we could bring her to work with us so we knew we had the capacity to train). I am so so so happy we did the dog thing first before having kids. It really is a good practice run between surviving the sleepless nights and caring for something other than yourselves.

I feel like they are similar with kids too where you will never be 100% ready, but you just have to take on the responsibility and put the work in to make it happen. Having a dog has made us re-think the budget (vet costs, food, unexpected vet bills, etc). We can still go away on the weekend, but we have to make sure we have someone to care for the dog (or arrange to take her with us). We know a baby will still be a different story, but in little ways the dog is helping us prepare.

I agree if you do get one pre-baby, to get it a year or so earlier so you have the time/attention to train him/her before baby comes. I could not imagine having a puppy and a baby or small child at the same time. It can be done, but would be harder

jenna8984 · January 2015

Many friends and vets have told me that you always want a baby first because bringing a baby into a dog's home can cause him to be territorial and act out. Now I don't have digs or kids so take that with a grain of salt. It probably depends on the breed since some will be more prone to that than others. My brother's golden retriever adores the babies so they never had a problem.

porkchops926 · January 2015

I don't have kids (yet) but I do have a dog. I didn't feel like I was ready for one at all but I didn't have much of a choice, since FI was moving into my house and was bringing his dog. I was scared to take that step but I couldn't ask him to get rid of her.

Now I don't know what I'd do without her. She is my sidekick and my constant companion and I can't imagine not having one now. I would definitely say to get a dog before kids if you want one. That way you can train it (as others have said) and also get it used to your schedule and how you operate. If you bring a dog into a house where kids are already present the result can be unpredictable, but if you have a dog for a while and then bring a kid home they tend to know and sense that the child is another pack member.

I would also advise what you're thinking, adopting an already grown dog. I haven't had a puppy but from what I hear it's incredibly hard work for a time and being a first-time dog owner it might be a little too much. You're better off getting an adult dog first and then down the line once kids are grown up more and things are settled get a puppy if you want one.

I totally understand the hesitation, but if you really decide you want one, all the scary bits and the "learning to be a dog owner" parts sort of fall away when you see how much they love you, and you just do it.

Bubblegum5586 · January 2015

Thank you for all the advice! I thought for sure everyone would say I wasn't ready! So these responses were surprising. The love you all talked about that you have for your dogs sound so awesome and I do miss that about having a dog (our family dog at my dads died 2 years ago).

But while cleaning my house this weekend I was getting frustrated with the amount of cat hair everywhere and the claw marks on some of our furniture... not sure I am ready for another animal's destruction yet!

My husband agrees that our hearts yearn for a dog, but our brains aren't ready to comprehend the additional work yet! We also want to travel more this next year before kids, and have already been calling in enough favors of driving us to the airport and watching the cats... I can't add dog to the list!

At this point one will either fall in to our lap in the right place right time kind of thing... or we will wait until our kids are older! Thank you so much for the advice!

climbingsingle · January 2015

bubblegum1309 said:

Thank you for all the advice! I thought for sure everyone would say I wasn't ready! So these responses were surprising. The love you all talked about that you have for your dogs sound so awesome and I do miss that about having a dog (our family dog at my dads died 2 years ago).

But while cleaning my house this weekend I was getting frustrated with the amount of cat hair everywhere and the claw marks on some of our furniture... not sure I am ready for another animal's destruction yet!

My husband agrees that our hearts yearn for a dog, but our brains aren't ready to comprehend the additional work yet! We also want to travel more this next year before kids, and have already been calling in enough favors of driving us to the airport and watching the cats... I can't add dog to the list!

At this point one will either fall in to our lap in the right place right time kind of thing... or we will wait until our kids are older! Thank you so much for the advice!

I don't know if I just got insanely lucky, but my dog hasn't destroyed anything. She's never chewed on shoes or socks, or other things like that. Once when she was a puppy, she chewed on a blanket. And once on her dog bed. But again, she was a puppy. She never chewed on anything after that.

Yes, there is dog hair on the couch. And the bed. I keep blankets over the couches but she really doesn't shed that much.

Honestly, that's it. I can't think of anything else she's destroyed.

novella1186 · January 2015

climbingwife said:

bubblegum1309 said:

Thank you for all the advice! I thought for sure everyone would say I wasn't ready! So these responses were surprising. The love you all talked about that you have for your dogs sound so awesome and I do miss that about having a dog (our family dog at my dads died 2 years ago).

But while cleaning my house this weekend I was getting frustrated with the amount of cat hair everywhere and the claw marks on some of our furniture... not sure I am ready for another animal's destruction yet!

My husband agrees that our hearts yearn for a dog, but our brains aren't ready to comprehend the additional work yet! We also want to travel more this next year before kids, and have already been calling in enough favors of driving us to the airport and watching the cats... I can't add dog to the list!

At this point one will either fall in to our lap in the right place right time kind of thing... or we will wait until our kids are older! Thank you so much for the advice!

I don't know if I just got insanely lucky, but my dog hasn't destroyed anything. She's never chewed on shoes or socks, or other things like that. Once when she was a puppy, she chewed on a blanket. And once on her dog bed. But again, she was a puppy. She never chewed on anything after that.
Yes, there is dog hair on the couch. And the bed. I keep blankets over the couches but she really doesn't shed that much.
Honestly, that's it. I can't think of anything else she's destroyed.

SIB
Ditto. I was not in the market for a puppy because I lived alone and already had my beagle, who's a little monster, but a rescue found me and that was that. He was an insanely good puppy. Never destroyed anything, I hardly had to watch him, he was very smart so he learned fast, and is inherently a people-pleaser so he was very easy to train.

I think it all depends on the breed and on the time and effort you're able to put into training them.

I got my beagle right when I moved away to college. My childhood dog had died a few months earlier and I could not stand walking into the house and not having my dog there to greet me. I knew my college apartment would never feel like home without a dog. However, I was way busier than I thought I'd be so I was not able to take her to obedience school, which she really needed, and to this day she's a stubborn little shit. I absolutely adore her and would not un-do adopting her for anything in the world. But I do wish I had had more time to devote to training her, because every dog needs that.

lovemesomemonster · January 2015

Everyone has given great feedback but I wanted to add one thing.. don't worry about the size of the house, that is fine for getting a dog depending on what it is.. I have one 20lb dog but she may be THE angel dog (not just saying that because she's mine) she doesn't bark, chew, or leave a yard with no fence (that took some serious training) so your house would be just fine for one like that. I also lived in a 1100sqft house and had her and took care of my FI's sisters's black lab and blue heeler for 3 months, hard? yes.. Lots of vacuuming? Yes.. but it can be done

novella1186 · January 2015

lovemesomemonster said:

Everyone has given great feedback but I wanted to add one thing.. don't worry about the size of the house, that is fine for getting a dog depending on what it is.. I have one 20lb dog but she may be THE angel dog (not just saying that because she's mine) she doesn't bark, chew, or leave a yard with no fence (that took some serious training) so your house would be just fine for one like that. I also lived in a 1100sqft house and had her and took care of my FI's sisters's black lab and blue heeler for 3 months, hard? yes.. Lots of vacuuming? Yes.. but it can be done

Oh I meant to comment on this too. The house we're renting right now is 1100 square feet, no garage, no basement, no storage, tiny rooms. We're at capacity. My beagle is obviously pretty small but other dog is over 80 pounds and full of energy. They both like to stand right under our feet when we're in the kitchen so even if we had an enormous house that wouldn't change. But other than that, the confined space hasn't been a problem.

Walks and going to the dog park work wonders. As long as big dog gets play time and some running every day, he's totally fine in a small house.

lovemesomemonster · January 2015

novella1186 said:

lovemesomemonster said:

Everyone has given great feedback but I wanted to add one thing.. don't worry about the size of the house, that is fine for getting a dog depending on what it is.. I have one 20lb dog but she may be THE angel dog (not just saying that because she's mine) she doesn't bark, chew, or leave a yard with no fence (that took some serious training) so your house would be just fine for one like that. I also lived in a 1100sqft house and had her and took care of my FI's sisters's black lab and blue heeler for 3 months, hard? yes.. Lots of vacuuming? Yes.. but it can be done

Oh I meant to comment on this too. The house we're renting right now is 1100 square feet, no garage, no basement, no storage, tiny rooms. We're at capacity. My beagle is obviously pretty small but other dog is over 80 pounds and full of energy. They both like to stand right under our feet when we're in the kitchen so even if we had an enormous house that wouldn't change. But other than that, the confined space hasn't been a problem.

Walks and going to the dog park work wonders. As long as big dog gets play time and some running every day, he's totally fine in a small house.

totally agree with you on this! My cousin is now renting our 1100sqft house and just got a husky, she does great especially with a run every day!

Wegl13 · January 2015

My friend posted this article today on her fb and I thought it would be helpful.
https://www.localbark.com/bark-all-about-it/2015/01/5-common-mistakes-adopters-make-when-bringing-home-new-dog/

Dog Time?

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