Community› Wedding Month Club Boards› April 2015 Weddings
April 2015 Weddings
New Discussion
Options

Are kids invited?

caitlinmcacaitlinmca member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in April 2015 Weddings
Our venue is a dual venue for both our wedding and reception, its based in the city that FI and I currently live, but its 1.5-2 hrs away from my hometown where most of my family still resides. Our wedding was supposed to start with guest arrival at 6 PM and ceremony starting at 6:30 PM afterwards cocktail hour, then dinner and the rest of the festivities until midnight when everyone has to be out. Thankfully, the bridal party has 2 hours of extra use of the space before the guests arrive to either get ready in the bridal suite, take first look photos and all of the other photos, etc, so because of these 2 extra hours we were able to move up the guest arrival by a half hour as well as the ceremony and dinner so hopefully the kiddies won't be so antsy with it being an evening wedding.

Most of my family members are starting to have babies, have young kids, and FI family is all of his mom, dad, grandparents, and 3 sisters with a max of 4 kids. I really wanted my no kids wedding, however, I didn't think it would go over well with everyone so I caved! I was also scared that I would have a lot of declines due to the no kids invited, I want all of my family there.

Are you having kids or adults only? What made you decide your option?
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Are kids invited?

  • Options
    hmgifforhmgiffor member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I have very strong opinions about this. From the start, I knew I wanted no kids. My FI and I don't want kids, they aren't my favorite so it made sense to us. Now that we are getting married in Vegas we are using it as our "excuse" why kids can't come. 

    We called all those with kids to make sure they understood why. My sister is not a huge fan of this and is actually not coming to the wedding. Am I sad? Yes and a little angry but she is the one who has to live with that choice. I will still be surrounded by amazing friends and family! 

    My biggest thing is I don't understand why people can't get babysitters for one night. I feel a bride and groom shouldn't be pressured into having kids at the wedding when they don't want it. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We were going to have an adults-only wedding, but FI's stepsister is pregnant and due in February. It didn't seem right to tell her she couldn't bring her kids (the newborn and toddler), then it didn't seem right to tell FI's stepbrother he couldn't bring his kids (even though I'm not overly fond of them - they're kind of wild), so we agreed we'll invite those kids. But that's where it stops.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    DiamondFanDiamondFan member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    No kids... at all. Weddings in general aren't kid friendly. I don't want to deal with them and I don't want my friends and family to spend the entire night riding herd on their children. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    caitlinmcacaitlinmca member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    See the only kids that I truly don't like are my FI nephews of his youngest sister and its only because she has no parenting skills. FI other 2 sisters have amazing kids, they ask for things, have manners.

    FI and I live with FI parents for free to save up for the wedding, and originally I had moved in when I started a new job down where FI lives and he was living with his parents, we were originally just going to stay there for 3 months and rent an apartment, which turned to 6 months which turned to a year well now we are saving up for our wedding, and I just had my 5th hip surgery, and we instead are going to buy or build a house. Needless to say, his sisters nephews come over like they are never fed and we know she feeds them, instantly go through our groceries without even asking (FI and I buy our groceries, his parents buy their own) while his other nephew and niece if they come over and want something to eat, they ask if they can have something. One time we were getting ready for a birthday party, had to door closed, same nephew that goes through the fridge, he kept banging on our bedroom door, finally I opened the door and told him to sit down and don't touch our door.

    I can stand kids, but I can't stand kids that come from people with improper parenting skills.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment

    Not having kids wasn't something we even thought about. Yes we both see why people do it but in our family and friends circle this would be one of the all time deal breakers. He comes from a LARGE family. We have families on both sides with 10 or more kids.. yes I know. This is my 2nd wedding to be honest kids at the first one I do not even remember being there you really do not notice them. Its not a big deal to us. We want all the family to come and enjoy themselves and leave the babysitter option up to each family. Some of our friends never dream of babysitters some every once in awhile love a night out but we aren't going to make that choice for them :) 

    Report Reply
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    KeptInStitches said:
    We were going to have an adults-only wedding, but FI's stepsister is pregnant and due in February. It didn't seem right to tell her she couldn't bring her kids (the newborn and toddler), then it didn't seem right to tell FI's stepbrother he couldn't bring his kids (even though I'm not overly fond of them - they're kind of wild), so we agreed we'll invite those kids. But that's where it stops.
    I would actually be pissed if I came to a wedding I was told I couldn't have my kids at (I dont have any) and I saw others there.. you hand picked and thats pretty rude. No kids means no kids. I was actually at a wedding this happened and that wedding left everyone with some pretty hurt feelings and riffs in the family.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    RachelLee83 said:
    KeptInStitches said:
    We were going to have an adults-only wedding, but FI's stepsister is pregnant and due in February. It didn't seem right to tell her she couldn't bring her kids (the newborn and toddler), then it didn't seem right to tell FI's stepbrother he couldn't bring his kids (even though I'm not overly fond of them - they're kind of wild), so we agreed we'll invite those kids. But that's where it stops.
    I would actually be pissed if I came to a wedding I was told I couldn't have my kids at (I dont have any) and I saw others there.. you hand picked and thats pretty rude. No kids means no kids. I was actually at a wedding this happened and that wedding left everyone with some pretty hurt feelings and riffs in the family.
    We kept to a circle. Immediate family only. And really, aren't all guest lists hand-picked?
    Report Reply
  • Options
    caitlinmcacaitlinmca member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    KeptInStitches said:


    RachelLee83 said:


    KeptInStitches said:

    We were going to have an adults-only wedding, but FI's stepsister is pregnant and due in February. It didn't seem right to tell her she couldn't bring her kids (the newborn and toddler), then it didn't seem right to tell FI's stepbrother he couldn't bring his kids (even though I'm not overly fond of them - they're kind of wild), so we agreed we'll invite those kids. But that's where it stops.

    I would actually be pissed if I came to a wedding I was told I couldn't have my kids at (I dont have any) and I saw others there.. you hand picked and thats pretty rude. No kids means no kids. I was actually at a wedding this happened and that wedding left everyone with some pretty hurt feelings and riffs in the family.

    We kept to a circle. Immediate family only. And really, aren't all guest lists hand-picked?

    This exactly! Regardless of kids, you decide if you want x,y,z person at your wedding and reception based on relationship which is all hand picked.

    On my moms side of the family for family functions regardless if it's a wedding, graduation party etc if you're still alive you get an invitation. That's first, second and so forth and further down the line of family which I couldn't afford and some I don't know and don't see unless well I get an invitation to one of these full blown events. It's like that with my step moms side too, if you're still alive, or a friend of the family then you get an invite.

    We chose to invite parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and first cousins, the only people not in that spectrum are the best man, 1 GM, and our officiant and his wife. The only other 2 people that may be out side of that realm as well would be my boss at work as she is making our wedding cake and letting us borrow all of the glassware for centerpieces and the candy bar and my other boss. With just that guest list we are at 140-150ish people. If we invited how my mom and step moms family does it, it could easily get out of hand.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JohnnylovesdianaJohnnylovesdiana member
    First Comment
    we are only having immediate family (bride and groom's sibblings) kids...no more than 4 present. don't want it to turn into a giant kid's party with strollers everywhere and i have been privately contacting my family to let them know to find day care arrangements and they are ok with doing this (for the most part)...good luck :)

    Report Reply
  • Options
    PellegcmPellegcm member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    We're inviting kids in circles as well - family children only. Fortunately there aren't that many children outside of our family, which is why it was easy to make that cut off; 

    Inviting some and not others is not rude as long as it's within a given circle. That's how you determine any guest list.


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    orcaspinnerorcaspinner member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    We never even considered an adults only wedding. We're both one of the oldest in our generation, so we both have multiple siblings and first cousins under 18. We also have four nieces and nephews. In both of our families, kids are always invited to weddings. I had honestly never heard of a kid free wedding until TK.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    smithmindy10smithmindy10 member
    First Comment
    We are inviting all kids. Our kids will be there so we wants all their friends and cousins there too. This is a family event for us. We want everyone, including the kids, to have a great time. We are having special activity packs for each kid to keep them busy at the table.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    hellosassypantshellosassypants member
    First Comment
    Yes, since we have a child...we are allowing children to come to the resort. I think we only have a total of 3 including ours.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    PrinnyWWPrinnyWW member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    My FI and I have 16 nieces and nephews between us, and they are all in the wedding. So there was no way we could exclude kids. Besides, we love kids and think that they will be the life of the party! It will be pretty fun to see my two 8 yr old nephews interact with my FI's 7 yr old nephew! Hopefully they will be best buds before the wedding events are through!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mic411mic411 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    My fiance and I discussed this in the beginning and decided that the only children we wanted at both the wedding & reception are the 3 children who are involved. 2 of the 3 are my fiance's family (daughter & niece) and the other little girl is a family friend. My best friend who is also my Matron of Honor wants to bring her daughter because she has absolutely no one to watch her- I love them both and I am on the fence about this one because each person attending the reception COST! One of my bridesmaids has 2 children and she isn't bringing them sooooo idk- it the grand scheme of things its not a HUGE deal in regards to my best friend but anyone else with kids will have to get a babysitter.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    theycallmelinztheycallmelinz member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    caitlinmca said:
    See the only kids that I truly don't like are my FI nephews of his youngest sister and its only because she has no parenting skills. FI other 2 sisters have amazing kids, they ask for things, have manners.

    FI and I live with FI parents for free to save up for the wedding, and originally I had moved in when I started a new job down where FI lives and he was living with his parents, we were originally just going to stay there for 3 months and rent an apartment, which turned to 6 months which turned to a year well now we are saving up for our wedding, and I just had my 5th hip surgery, and we instead are going to buy or build a house. Needless to say, his sisters nephews come over like they are never fed and we know she feeds them, instantly go through our groceries without even asking (FI and I buy our groceries, his parents buy their own) while his other nephew and niece if they come over and want something to eat, they ask if they can have something. One time we were getting ready for a birthday party, had to door closed, same nephew that goes through the fridge, he kept banging on our bedroom door, finally I opened the door and told him to sit down and don't touch our door.

    I can stand kids, but I can't stand kids that come from people with improper parenting skills.
    This. All day long. FI's brothers kids get on my nerves sooo bad. FI's nephew is only 4 so I know he doesn't possess the skills to sit quietly for a long time and not get into things, but he doesn't mind at all. When we took FI's parents to show them the venue, the kid was throwing rocks around and hitting trees with sticks he found and tearing up the grass. (I don't want to seem like a petty bitch, but our venue is SUPER strict about the grounds being kept nice or we forfeit part of the deposit we had to pay). I kept telling him, gently, to stop and FI's parents would also tell him to stop but he doesn't listen. And OMG if you even bump into him, he cries screams because he was just hurt sooooooo bad. It makes me not like this kid. Who just outright doesn't like a 4 year old?! Me.

    All that being said, we are having children of family there. I don't mind children who can behave, or who's parents will watch them if they choose not to behave, but our main reason for not inviting all the kids is due to space. We just don't have room for everyone to bring their children, so just family will be invited.

    Sorry to thead-jack this over my dislike for my FI's nephew lol I needed to vent after we spent the weekend with them.
    Anniversary



    Report Reply
  • Options
    futureMrsMayhlefutureMrsMayhle member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    I think we are also sticking with just kids in the wedding party!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    runsonveggiesrunsonveggies member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    No kids at my wedding, not even a flower girl or ring bearer. Neither of us like kids much and none of our close family has any, just some friends. So far everyone has been nice about it. :)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    flyingfoxesflyingfoxes member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We will have kids there.  I know they'll be running around like crazy, but to have our family and friends there means some will bring their kids.  It's more important to us to have our people able to come than not, so that means kids.  Our venue decorator is going to put out a basket for activities, hopefully that will distract them for a bit, lol. 
    image


    Report Reply
  • Options
    Laurlo82Laurlo82 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Fi and I love kids, but they are not welcome at our wedding. They cost as much at our venue as an adult does, so we'd easily add 1,000's of dollars adding them in with the number of them in our family and friends groups. An evening formal wedding is no place for children imho. They don't have fun, the adults caring for them don't have fun, we want to have fun. Ironically the people with children all seem to get this and support it, whereas all our childless friends and family were horrified.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    futureMrsMayhlefutureMrsMayhle member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    Yes I also am telling people to find a sitter if possible. However there are some family and friends that are already saying they might have friends in tow.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards