Groom's cake?

futuremrshp · January 2015

Are any of you planning on getting a groom's cake or what not? I didn't know if that was seen as a whole other expense of something that you had to do. Just curious!

atlastmrsg · January 2015

No. Did cupcakes and macarons as the dessert.

Most weddings I've been to, the groom's cake might be funny or clever, but it never seems to get eaten. I'm sure there are plenty of weddings where it does, but I think it's an added expense for not a lot of benefit.

floridabride44 · January 2015

Nope, not doing one. We're already doing an ice cream bar, plus cake. Dessert overload!

I never really understood groom's cakes anyway - your wedding is a day where you "become one" yet the groom for some reason needs his own special cake? Just a bizarre tradition as far as I'm concerned.

Maggie0829 · January 2015

Nope, didn't do one. Don't really see the point of it.

futuremrshp · January 2015

I agree-- I don't really get it either. One of my cousins made it seem like since the wedding was presumably all about the bride (décor, etc) the groom's cake represent that thing that he can have for himself. Not sure I buy that.

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

futuremrshp said:

I agree-- I don't really get it either. One of my cousins made it seem like since the wedding was presumably all about the bride (décor, etc) the groom's cake represent that thing that he can have for himself. Not sure I buy that.

???? Weird. If the groom actually helps plan his own wedding, this wouldn't be the case.

I've only been to two weddings with a groom's cake. It's just an extra, unnecessary expense.

runsonveggies · January 2015

We're not having one. We both want the same flavor and are in agreement about a the cake style. So we're having one cake and it'll be "our" cake, no need for a bride's cake and a groom's cake. I agree that it's a strange tradition and it does seem like just another expense to me.

KatWAG · January 2015

We had one. It was one of my favorite details.

I call my H monkey. And he really likes Coors Light. So the cake was a monkey drinking Coors light.

It was a surprise for my H. And it was at the Rehearsal Dinner. I thought if we had it had the wedding, it would get lost in all the chaos. And we would be stuck explaining the cake to everyone.

If you have the room in your budget, go for it. But it was crazy expensive.

tcnoble · January 2015

KatWAG said:

We had one. It was one of my favorite details.

I call my H monkey. And he really likes Coors Light. So the cake was a monkey drinking Coors light.

It was a surprise for my H. And it was at the Rehearsal Dinner. I thought if we had it had the wedding, it would get lost in all the chaos. And we would be stuck explaining the cake to everyone.

If you have the room in your budget, go for it. But it was crazy expensive.

I've also seen it discussed on here as being common to serve it at the rehearsal dinner.

I'm thinking of getting one - FI drives racecars, so I was going to get a cake that looked like his race car and have it served at the rehearsal dinner for dessert.

vmj23 · January 2015

Nope, never even considered it.

fwtx5815 · January 2015

We're getting a groom's cake. We're going to have a smaller guest list (absolute max would be 75 people) and we had to meet a $500 minimum for pretty much all the cake bakers we looked into for them to deliver to the venue. So for us, we kinda knew we'd need to spend extra money in order to have the convenience of the cake being delivered. Picking it up ourselves is not something I even considered.

It's not going to be one of those really over the top, life-like cakes. It'll be similar to a really nice birthday cake with some fun decorations on top. My fiancé is really excited for me to design the decorations.

Also, we get to includr an additional cake flavor and filling by having two cakes. The big one will be champagne flavored cake with white chocolate filling and the groom's cake will be Bailey's Irish Cream cake with dark chocolate buttercream filling.

These are the pics of examples from our baker of what we chose, but I plan to put more stuff on the groom's cake, and the ribbon color will be different on the tiered one.

MobKaz · January 2015

At some point, I thought I had read that a groom's cake is customary/traditional in southern states.

My daughter did not have a groom's cake per se. But because he is more of a pie than cake guy, DD asked her aunt to make her "famous" apple pie, to be served at the rehearsal dinner. The crust on that puppy is amazing! He really appreciated the thought and gesture. Because the majority of the guests were close friends and family, they were all aware of Aunt Jo Ann's pie, and died when they saw dessert served.

wrigleyville · January 2015

MobKaz said:

At some point, I thought I had read that a groom's cake is customary/traditional in southern states.

Ditto, and I read it's served at the rehearsal dinner, not the wedding.

I think it's weird to serve it at the wedding. It always feels like the couple is feeding into gender stereotypes - "Well, she gets the girly, pretty, frilly wedding cake, so he needs a beer can/video game/hunting manly cake."

I'm totally down with serving it at the rehearsal dinner, though. Then, I see it as more of a "gift" for the groom, as the bride is usually the one who designs and pays for it.

fwtx5815 · January 2015

wrigleyville said:

MobKaz said:

At some point, I thought I had read that a groom's cake is customary/traditional in southern states.

Ditto, and I read it's served at the rehearsal dinner, not the wedding.

I think it's weird to serve it at the wedding. It always feels like the couple is feeding into gender stereotypes - "Well, she gets the girly, pretty, frilly wedding cake, so he needs a beer can/video game/hunting manly cake."

I'm totally down with serving it at the rehearsal dinner, though. Then, I see it as more of a "gift" for the groom, as the bride is usually the one who designs and pays for it.

-----------------------------------------

We aren't going to have a rehearsal, or else we might have considered this.

Also, it bothers me when people refer to the large cake as "the bride's cake." No, the big fancy elegant one isn't "my" cake. But I like having a second cake that is fun and shows some more personality. So much of the focus is on the bride so I think it's cool to have something about the husband. Though in reality, we share the same hobbies so people may not even recognize it as 'his' cake. And as long as there's enough cake for everyone, I'm not concerned with guests' opinion on the designs tbh.

JennyColada · January 2015

Nope. If we did, it would have been very similar to our wedding cake both in terms of flavor as well as decor. Neither of us are super outlandish, and we wanted to keep our wedding low-key.

Plus, we really just had the wedding cake more as a symbolic thing. It hardly got eaten as it is!

allispain · January 2015

tcnoble said:

KatWAG said:

We had one. It was one of my favorite details.

I call my H monkey. And he really likes Coors Light. So the cake was a monkey drinking Coors light.

It was a surprise for my H. And it was at the Rehearsal Dinner. I thought if we had it had the wedding, it would get lost in all the chaos. And we would be stuck explaining the cake to everyone.

If you have the room in your budget, go for it. But it was crazy expensive.

I've also seen it discussed on here as being common to serve it at the rehearsal dinner.

I'm thinking of getting one - FI drives racecars, so I was going to get a cake that looked like his race car and have it served at the rehearsal dinner for dessert.

I got one as a surprise for DH and we served it at the rehearsal dinner as well. Basically, it gave us another excuse to have cake :-) I had it made to look like one of DH's electric basses, and the flavor was similar to that of his favorite girl scout cookies (samoas). Yum.

I really liked having that - honestly, I can't even tell you if I had more than the photographed bite of cake at our reception itself, but I definitely downed that entire piece of groom's cake at the RD!

AddieCake · January 2015

I meant to, but time got away from me. Not doing it was one of my few regrets.

BrandNewJ · January 2015

We're not going to. I thought about it, but I figured a dessert display of 400 pieces, a candy bar, and a wedding cake with 4 tiers each one a different flavor is enough. If we had a grooms cake too, we'd have left over desserts for years.

His 30th birthday is a month and a half before we get married. I'll probably get him a designed birthday cake that would've been the grooms cake if we were to have one.

aliwis000 · January 2015

We are having one.

I live and was born in Texas. I never went to a wedding without a grooms cake till college, I didn't even know that it was considered a "southern" thing till then.

I know that the wedding day is two becoming one but honestly its a chance for the groom to show some personality. Plus the grooms cake is usually chocolate so it gives another flavor for everyone. (Yes I know you can do different flavors per tier on a wedding cake.)

Bottom of the line...grooms cake means there is more cake! I love cake! I will gladly take home any extra and pig out!

If it is not important to a couple and/or their budget needs help it is something can easily be skipped.

chibiyui · January 2015

We had one. H brought it up almost as soon as I started talking cake. He wanted the cake from Portal. Our baker threw it in for free because it was so simple.

Some of the reasoning behind grooms cakes are bit gender essentialist, but I'm pretty sure H just saw a bunch of bitching grooms cakes on the internet and wanted on for himself. H certainly had plenty of input in the rest of the wedding. (All that stuff around the cake, he bought. And assembled around the cake. He also picked out those linens on the cake table.)

esstee33 · January 2015

chibiyui said:

We had one. H brought it up almost as soon as I started talking cake. He wanted the cake from Portal. Our baker threw it in for free because it was so simple.

Some of the reasoning behind grooms cakes are bit gender essentialist, but I'm pretty sure H just saw a bunch of bitching grooms cakes on the internet and wanted on for himself. H certainly had plenty of input in the rest of the wedding. (All that stuff around the cake, he bought. And assembled around the cake. He also picked out those linens on the cake table.)

I love that entire table so hard.

tammym1001 · January 2015

We didn't have one. I asked DH about it and his response was "cake taste good and then it's gone so I don't care what the cake looks like or what flavor it is". There wasn't any reason to spend extra money on another cake when he cared so little about anything except that it tasted good.

climbingsingle · January 2015

We didn't have one.

jenna8984 · January 2015

I guess you could call ours a groom's cake. We had a small wedding with 23 people and the restaurant included apple crisp with the meal so we just decided to use that and forgo cake since neither of us eat cake.

Then my friend, who is opening her own bakery, offered to make me one for free as practice/ advertising. So I said sure what the hell! I had her make it with my husband's fave sports team colors and logo and I didn't tell him about it. I delivered it to the venue the night before and he was so surprised, it was awesome! We didn't actually eat it though, we told people they could but they were all too stuffed so we threw the whole thing away (I'm sorry cake lovers- don't come after me with torches!).

hellohkb · January 2015

Nope, we are not going to have one. We are just going to pick out a wedding cake we both like and call it a day.

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