Rehearsal without the officiant??

ksen820 · May 2010

We just found the perfect officiant for our wedding... except, she does not attend the rehearsal (if we want her to, it's an additional charge). She said that it really isn't necessary but I am not sure.

We're not doing any crazy rituals that we couldn't discuss the morning of the wedding, and I don't want to spend the extra money so I'm leaning towards not having her there. What would you do?

cschuma2 · May 2010

How much extra? I couldn't imagine doing the rehersal without the officiant.

ksen820 · May 2010

She charges $500 for her services and an additional $100 for the rehearsal.

trinalo · May 2010

Our officiant isn't coming to the rehearsal either. He just needs the final ceremony text a couple weeks in advance, and he'll be there to perform it the day of. All we're going to do at our rehearsal is decide how the processional and recessional are going to work (timing to the music, who walks with who, etc), and figure out the best way to run the sound. We didn't see any need to practice the ceremony itself- we've all been to plenty of weddings. We know how they work.

ksen820 · May 2010

thanks Trinalo, that's what I was thinking too.

trinalo · May 2010

No problem! We didn't want to pay the extra money either.

Ayla10 · May 2010

Every wedding I've been in as a bridesmaid never had the officiant at the rehersal... I actually thought it was weird when our pastor told us she wanted to be there! Lol. IMO, the rehersal is to make you and your wedding party less nervous over the stuff you have control over- like how fast to walk down the aisle, who walks with who, etc., so it doesn't cause nervousness on the big day. Once you've all walked up to the alter, the officiant is in charge and there really isn't anything that needs to be rehearsed.

cschuma2 · May 2010

Obviously, I'm the minority. I still am really glad my officiant was there. The rehersal was the moment when my stress level peaked and I was close to tears. Just having her there to make sure we were all on the same page definitely put my mind at ease. Also, my officiant's career is in banking and she only does maybe 2 weddings a year. She was a friend of a friend and willing to do a non-religious ceremony (very hard to find in our area it seemed!) for next to nothing. Because she isn't super experienced at the wedding thing, I wanted her to be there.

handfast4me · May 2010

I have incredible stage fright (and have been a performer for most of my life, go figure!) so having a wedding in front of others would have necisitated a rehearsal.
Also, when we did our handfasting, it was just us and the High Priestess and Priest, and aftewards, FI said "dang, we should have rehearsed, I didn't know WHAT I was doing!"

When we had our legal wedding a year later, it was just us and the officiant again, but FI and I went over the entire ceremony OUT LOUD to feel more comfortable, work out a couple of things, like putting the rings on one another.

We just really wanted to concentrate on one another, not our "lines" during the actual ceremony. So, if you're like us, you will need a rehearsal.

Festiva · May 2010

I attended a rehearsal once with no officient. It was a HUGE MESS.

However, if you have a coordinator, and a competant one- then it should run smoothly with or without the officient.

Catwoman708 · May 2010

If it's short and simple ceremony, then no the officiant is not absolutely necessary. As long as you can go over the order of the cermony, and know what words will be said in advance. Kind of a "script". This can be done by e-mail or over the phone.

Personally, I'd pay extra to have them at the rehearsal, if only for reassurance. The officiant is kind of the one who runs the show, and they have done way more weddings than you have.

Rehearsal without the officiant??

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