Dilema

Re: Dilema

• kat1114 member

  

  January 2015

  Yes, you are being out of line. A bridesmaids only responsibilities are to buy the dress and show up on time and sober. If you are requiring a bridesmaid to have their hair and/or makeup done, then it's on you to foot the bill. 

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• mikenberger member

  

  January 2015

  lvail92 said:

  My maid of honor is one of my very good friends- she had a baby a few months ago so obviously things have been busy and I've been  nothing but understanding about her being absent from things and not very "maid of honor like". BUT now, she is saying that she can't afford and doesn't want to pay to get her hair and makeup done for the wedding so she just wants to do them both herself... Am i out of line to really want her to get them done? I picked a very inexpensive dress for her because I know money is tight and even let her put it on my credit card and pay me off whenever she can and also chose the color shoes the girls will wear around what color she already has in her closet... I don't think I'm asking too much especially when I'm giving her 6 months notice as to how much it is going to be.. my other bridesmaid is more than willing to spend the money to get her stuff done  because she knows it's what I want.... Not sure how to handle this...
  

  Easy: if you want it done and are (from the sounds of it) requiring it of your bridesmaids, you pay for it. Your bridesmaids are under no obligation to have their hair, nails or make up done by your request. Or buy the shoes you want them to wear. You want those things, you pay for them. It's just that simple.

  
  

  
  

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• NYCMercedes member

  

  January 2015

  Yep, asking too much. If you require it, you pay for it.

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• mikenberger member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  Nice try on the DD but you've already been quoted.

  
  

  
  

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• levioosa member

  

  January 2015

  Bat signal.

  
  

  OP, you can't require that your friend get her hair and makeup done unless you are paying for it. 

  
  

  
  

  FYI, it doesn't matter if you have given her "six months notice" to pay for it.  That doesn't automatically mean she has extra money in her budget to spend on your wedding.  All your BMs are required to do is show up on time, in the dress and in sober good spirits.  They don't have to plan any parties or help you with any DIY projects. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• AddieCake member

  

  January 2015

  Oh, FFS. What difference does it make if she does her own hair and makeup? How could this possibly affect you in any way?

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• chibiyui member

  

  January 2015

  I'm sure she'll be fine if she does her own hair and makeup. Let it go. 
  
  And yes, if you are requiring hair and make to be professionally done, you need to foot the bill.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  January 2015

  Nothing says "I don't think you're pretty enough and I also don't respect your wishes or budget" than forcing the issue of making her get her makeup done. Yay for great, respectful friendships!!!

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2015

  AddieCake said:

  Oh, FFS. What difference does it make if she does her own hair and makeup? How could this possibly affect you in any way?

  But, but, but PICTURES!  When she looks back on her pictures 20 years from now her BMs self-done hair and makeup will just put a black cloud over everything!!  They will be ruined I say, RUINED!

  
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  January 2015

  southernbelle0915 said:

  Nothing says "I don't think you're pretty enough and I also don't respect your wishes or budget" than forcing the issue of making her get her makeup done. Yay for great, respectful friendships!!!

  A million times this.

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• Cookie Pusher member

  

  January 2015

  This is such a non-issue. Seriously, is she so horribly ugly and disfigured that only a professional could make her look good enough for your pictures? How shallow can you get?

  
  

  And it's spelled dilemma.

  
  

  Andplusalso, here's a panda.

  
  

  
  

  ~*~*~*~*~

  
  

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• moorewedding530 member

  

  January 2015

  Pinterest. It's great for beautiful hair and makeup tutorials. You'll survive.

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• MandyS573 member

  

  January 2015

  What your other bridesmaid is willing and able to do has absolutely nothing to do with what your MOH is willing and able to do. They are mutually exclusive. No comparisons allowed.
  If you really feel it is important for her to have her hair and makeup done (for whatever reasons) then you should be paying for it.
  She has the dress and shoes. The rest is icing on the cake as far as I am concerned.
  

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