Limited children invited to an 'adults only' ceremony

Re: Limited children invited to an 'adults only' ceremony

• Cookie Pusher member

  

  January 2015

  It is rude to have "adults only" or any indication of who ISN'T invited. What you should do is address the invitations to those who are invited. If anyone RSVPs for a someone who isn't invited, you pick up the phone and let them know that the invitation was meant just for them, and you look forward to seeing them.

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• VulgarGirl member

  

  January 2015

  Add the names of the kids you want to invite to their parents' invitation. For the others just name the parents.
  
  Don't add "adults only" to your invites, it's considered rude.

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• NYCMercedes member

  

  January 2015

  kohman718 said:

  I'm getting married this June, and while the ceremony/reception is primarily adults only, we are extending the invites to children of our family.  We are struggling on how to convey this in the invitations.
  
  We were thinking of writing 'adults only reception' on the invites and then adding an extra note to the guests whose children are invited.
  
  Does anyone have any other ideas?
  

  
  Putting Adults Only on an invitation is rude as you should never non-invite. Just address the invitations to the people you want to invite. For example, Mr. and Mrs. John Doe means the couple is invited. If you want to invite their children, then address it to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe on the first line, and them Sammy, Kelley, and Taylor Doe on the next line.

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• kohman718 member

  

  January 2015

  thanks!  I've heard of people adding the 'adults only' part to the invites, but this would probably make things easier
  

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• mikenberger member

  

  January 2015

  kohman718 said:

  thanks!  I've heard of people adding the 'adults only' part to the invites, but this would probably make things easier
  

  Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Definitely follow the advice above.

  
  

  
  

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• Viczaesar member

  

  January 2015

  kohman718 said:

  I'm getting married this June, and while the ceremony/reception is primarily adults only, we are extending the invites to children of our family.  We are struggling on how to convey this in the invitations.
  
  We were thinking of writing 'adults only reception' on the invites and then adding an extra note to the guests whose children are invited.
  
  Does anyone have any other ideas?
  

  It is rude to write "adults only" on the invitations.  The way you indicate who is or is not invited is by addressing the invitation to those who are invited by name.  Those who are not invited with their children receive an invitation addressed to the adults, with no mention of the children.  Those who are invited with children have the names of the adults and the children as well on the invitation.
  

  
  
  
  

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• SP29 member

  

  January 2015

  Agree with the above.

  
  

  Rude to state who ISN'T invited. Invite, by name, who would you like. 

  
  

  I think it would look worse if you put "Adults Only" on all the invites, but then there are some children there- it'll make other guests wonder why these children were able to bend the rules.

  
  

  Do remember that you are not required to invite the children of every guest, just like you are not required to invite every single member of your family. It is up to you and FI to decide who you would like to attend. You are not required to explain yourselves either. When there are some children at your wedding it will be obvious that you and FI chose to invite those children and not others- that is A OK! 

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2015

  Don't put "Adults Only" on the invitations.  Not only is it not true, but it isn't polite to indicate on an invitation who isn't invited.  Just list on the inner envelope (if you are using them) or the outer envelope (if you aren't) exactly who is invited.  For those you are sending to family members whose kids are invited, list the kids' names along with the adults.  For all others, just list the adults' names.
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  January 2015

  kohman718 said:

  thanks!  I've heard of people adding the 'adults only' part to the invites, but this would probably make things easier
  

  Yea, all the people who do this are outside good etiquette standards. An invitation is never supposed to say who's NOT invited. Its just supposed to say who IS invited.
  
  That said, for the families whose children you are NOT inviting, just address the invitation to Mr and Mrs Smith. You can use the "2 seats have been reserved in your honor...", or "___ # attending", or " please initial by menu choice" on your RSVP cards.
  
  This will help you determine if Mr and Mrs Smith try to add anyone. If they do, you just call to follow up and clarify.

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  kohman718 said:

  I'm getting married this June, and while the ceremony/reception is primarily adults only, we are extending the invites to children of our family.  We are struggling on how to convey this in the invitations.
  
  We were thinking of writing 'adults only reception' on the invites and then adding an extra note to the guests whose children are invited.
  
  Does anyone have any other ideas?
  

  It's really simple.
  
  You write the names out on the invitations of the people that are invited.  You don't send invites to those that are not.  See?  Easy.
  
  Don't write "Adults Only" on your invitations- it's just rude.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• kohman718 member

  

  January 2015

  thanks everyone for the great advice!  i wasn't aware that it was seen as such a negative to write "adults only".  good thing I haven't done the invites yet
  

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