Wedding Woes

WWWWD?

HeffalumpHeffalump member
Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
edited January 2015 in Wedding Woes
LSS, my mother is turning 65 this year, and she's announced that she wants a family trip to Disney World to celebrate her milestone birthday.  DH, the kids, and me, my brother, his GF, and her daughter.  You may (or may not) recall that we went with my mother when DD was three, and I can't say we loved it.  There were some good moments, there were some bad moments.  We were exhausted by the end.  My mother has a tendency to start drama on trips--I think it's the stress of travel and being out of her routine.  Not personality disorder-level drama, just dumb shit, like when she booked a character breakfast with Alice in Wonderland, and when Alice showed up for pictures, my mother shut her down and basically told her to GTFO.  And when my brother and I were like "That was kind of unnecessary, don't you think?" she refused to speak to either one of us for the rest of that ridiculous breakfast.  But then there were also a lot of happy memories to balance that out, mostly involving DD.  Neither DH nor I can muster any enthusiasm for this trip, but it's super-important to my mother.

Pro-Disney trip:
  1. DD will have a great time; DS will enjoy it, but probably no more or less than a trip to Monkey Joe's (he won't even be 2)
  2. The kids can spend some quality time with Grandma, doing what Grandma loves best
  3. With my mom turning 65, she's hardly at death's door, but she won't be able to travel forever, either.  (I think my grandmother stopped for the most part in her early eighties.)  And as the kids get older, we'll be less able to travel with school, activities, etc.
  4. We can spend time together as an extended family, which we don't get to do very much because my brother lives several states away
  5. If we do it once, we're off the hook for a while (sort of like a tetanus shot)

Anti-Disney trip:

  1. We don't want to take DD out of school, so we'll have to go in the summer, when it's crowded and hot
  2. It's a lot of money, considering it's not someplace we're dying to go
  3. It will chew up a good chunk of my available PTO
  4. It's hard for DH to get away from the office for several days at a time
  5. It's a logistical headache
  6. There are so many other places we'd rather go
  7. There are tons of other things we could do with that money
  8. I can tell you right now that we don't want to travel in a big pack, and my mother will be butthurt if we try to do anything on our own--and not even "We're going to Cirque du Soleil and you're not, nah-nah!" more like "The kids are sweaty and exhausted so we're going to skip Animal Kingdom and hang out at the pool."  [cue passive-aggressive sigh and sulking]

With all that in mind, WWWWD?



Re: WWWWD?

  • say no due to cost and vacation time. we're getting guilt tripped to going to PA for FIL's 70th birthday - even though we didn't plan to go this year. We really don't want to look like assholes, but $1100-1200 just in airfaire for a weekend trip is not how we really want to spend our money. 

    I'd imagine you guys will be spending at least that much for 3 weeklong Disney tickets, and that doesn't include travel costs, hotel costs, etc. (Since DS would be under 2, he'd be free for the parks.)

    maybe an alternative would be to find one of those indoor waterpark resorts and go for a long weekend. It would likely be cheaper and help to mitigate the vacation time and missed school issues. Sure it's not *Disney* - but she'd still be able to go on some rides with the kids and play in the pool. Your DS might enjoy it more, too. 





  • *Barbie* said:
    We really don't want to look like assholes, but $1100-1200 just in airfaire for a weekend trip is not how we really want to spend our money. 

    I'd imagine you guys will be spending at least that much for 3 weeklong Disney tickets, and that doesn't include travel costs, hotel costs, etc. (Since DS would be under 2, he'd be free for the parks.)
    That's part of it, I don't want to look like an asshole, LOL.  And yeah, I think we priced it out at close to $4k with hotel and park tickets, plus another $1500-ish for airfare.  Plus meals, souvenirs, $5 bottles of water, etc.  Do you know how long we could stay directly on the beach in Hilton Head (for example) for that kind of cash?   
  • Does she have some particular reason for wanting Disney World?
  • Heffalump said:

    *Barbie* said:
    We really don't want to look like assholes, but $1100-1200 just in airfaire for a weekend trip is not how we really want to spend our money. 

    I'd imagine you guys will be spending at least that much for 3 weeklong Disney tickets, and that doesn't include travel costs, hotel costs, etc. (Since DS would be under 2, he'd be free for the parks.)
    That's part of it, I don't want to look like an asshole, LOL.  And yeah, I think we priced it out at close to $4k with hotel and park tickets, plus another $1500-ish for airfare.  Plus meals, souvenirs, $5 bottles of water, etc.  Do you know how long we could stay directly on the beach in Hilton Head (for example) for that kind of cash?   
    i have a feeling we'll end up going to PA (because of the asshole factor), but I've already told DK that I want assurance that we're not doing this for every family birthday - milestones or not  (MIL will be 70 next year) - AND that this wouldn't impact us taking a family trip later in the year. 

  • also, i could see this much more difficult to say "no" if she was paying for it, but when you guys are covering thousands of dollars of travel/vacation - you should be able to spend the money the way you want it, guilt free. 
  • VarunaTT said:
    Does she have some particular reason for wanting Disney World?
    She's one of those people who only likes to go to Disney World, for whatever reason.  DH and I are not.  I feel like it's fun for the kids, for a while, and then it gets to be too much.  I'm not a Disney-hater by any means, but it's not at the top of DH's or my lists like it always is for my mom.
  • *Barbie* said:
    also, i could see this much more difficult to say "no" if she was paying for it, but when you guys are covering thousands of dollars of travel/vacation - you should be able to spend the money the way you want it, guilt free. 
    That's part of it, too.  Even if she were paying for the whole thing, it's easier for both work schedules and kid schedules to do several shorter trips than one big one.  And you're right, it's hard to swallow paying thousands of dollars for something you're ambivalent about, at best.

    DH and I were talking last night, and we're going to run all the numbers and make a final decision, but we're strongly leaning towards skipping it.  Bless her heart, I'm sure my mother will schedule another trip in a couple of years, so we can always catch that one if we really want to.
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2015
    We took the kiddo to Disney when he was 9 and it was the best age to take him.  He could ride everything we wanted to ride.  We didn't have to worry about schedules or nap times.  We definitely could skip the kiddie rides.  

    DH enjoyed himself at Disney, but hated the cost.  I want to take DefConn at least once, but we're definitely waiting until he's older.  

    So yeah, taking 2 kids at the age your are is insanity. That's so much money.  It would be a much better vacation to go to Hilton Head all the way around.  (We're going this summer.  :D

    ETA:  There's a bunch of people on my mom board taking their toddlers to Disney and I don't get it.  I know their little girls are into princesses or whatever, but it just seems like so much work for a memory they won't have.  There is one chick who's parents work at Disney, so she makes sense...But the ones planning the annually vacations or taking their kids twice in a year?  Why? (Not my money, not my business...but I judge them...LOL)
  • We took the kiddo to Disney when he was 9 and it was the best age to take him.  He could ride everything we wanted to ride.  We didn't have to worry about schedules or nap times.  We definitely could skip the kiddie rides.  

    DH enjoyed himself at Disney, but hated the cost.  I want to take DefConn at least once, but we're definitely waiting until he's older.  

    So yeah, taking 2 kids at the age your are is insanity. That's so much money.  It would be a much better vacation to go to Hilton Head all the way around.  (We're going this summer.  :D

    ETA:  There's a bunch of people on my mom board taking their toddlers to Disney and I don't get it.  I know their little girls are into princesses or whatever, but it just seems like so much work for a memory they won't have.  There is one chick who's parents work at Disney, so she makes sense...But the ones planning the annually vacations or taking their kids twice in a year?  Why? (Not my money, not my business...but I judge them...LOL)
    These are all excellent points.  DD was definitely napping age when we went last time, and she couldn't nap in the stroller (too much going on), so we had to haul her back to the hotel every time.  Even on staying on property, that's a 45-60 minute trip one-way, from the time she fizzled out, we walked through the park to the exit, waited for a bus back to our hotel, rode back (multiple stops), and finally walked from our bus stop to our room.  So an hour and a half to two hours out of the day just in transit, let alone the time she actually spent napping.  And she needed that nap, let me tell you.  She's no longer napping age, but DS definitely is, so we'd be back to doing that again.

    I love the Woozle so, but she's not an easy traveler.  DS is pretty happy-go-lucky, but DD is intense and prone to drama.  Does not mix well with a hectic Disney schedule, long lines, crowds, heat, early mornings, late nights, etc.  And DS is headed into the terrible twos, so who knows?

    I will say that I have some good memories of our last trip, but it was also a challenge.
  • Mrs. Conn, you bring up a good point. It would probably make more sense and be cheaper to rent a princess to come to your kid's birthday party for the same level of excitement.:)

    I went to Disney World at 6 and I barely remember it. I do slightly remember It's a Small World, but that's about it.

    image
  • OMG, hiring Elsa was the bday thing this year. 

    There is no way to be Elsa w/o looking deranged or stoned.  There's a reason why she makes a better cartoon than real human. 
  • I wouldn't do it. I'd suggest an alternate location and I'd lay it out like you said. We are considering doing Disneyland next year with the kids, but it's only going to be the 4 of us and we realize that because of DD we'll need to leave parks early, etc.

    If she's set on Disney could you just go to Orlando and do somethign else like the waterparks and do Disney like one day?

    I'd totally do Hilton Head. Disney in the summer just sounds horrible.
  • Well, I was hoping you might be able to suggest an alternative location to her.

    But right now, you've got a ton of cons and not so many pros.  And the pros are important, but can't you catch people later?

    I wouldn't go.
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