Snarky Brides

Military Wives Have 2 Anniversaries?

Saw this come across my newsfeed on Facebook. :/
hellohkb

Re: Military Wives Have 2 Anniversaries?

  • I had to Google "dependa". It sounds like a disease. 

    Two anniversaries makes sense-the day they got married and the day they staged a romantic pretend wedding. 

    Very glad that I decided not to go the PPD day route as I would have looked more than ridiculous. 

    I love the way some military spouses love to justify their fake weddings. They live in a collective fantasy world, which is pretty pathological if you ask me....sort of a mass wedding schizophrenia. 
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2015
    Um can you repeat the second part.



    EDIT: I think the second part is meant tongue-in-cheek?
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  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    UGH NO
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    ashley8918golden1215
  • It happens but it not the majority of everyone.  Now divorcing yourself up the ranks?  Yeah, saw that one a time or three.
  • aliwis000aliwis000 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2015
    Hmm...this made me think of a question...


     I have a cousin who married her SO while he was over seas. She actually had a proxy (the grooms sister) sign for him. He was in the army fighting and they filed paperwork so that his sister could sign the marriage certificate for him. The bride and the groom's sister went to the JOP. I am not sure why they did not wait, they both had children so it might have been a benefits thing or could have even been a "what if he does not come back" thing. I am honestly not sure.

    I am just interested in seeing what people would think about the couple having a small ceremony when he got home? I know the normal idea is, you make the decision so you have to own it, but I would assume there is an exception with every rule. To be clear, they are not doing this, I just thought it would be an interesting case study.


  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    GROSSSSSS.

    My dumbass cousin had a "real wedding" after she married her military husband in a quickie ceremony.  Luckily, she didn't go full PPD (no wedding dress, no bridal party), but there was still much eye rolling to be had within the family about attending her "unity ceremony" after they had been married for about six months (and her proclaiming all along the way, "this is my REAL wedding!").  
    Anniversary

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  • aliwis000 said:
    Hmm...this made me think of a question...


     I have a cousin who married her SO while he was over seas. She actually had a proxy (the grooms sister) sign for him. He was in the army fighting and they filed paperwork so that his sister could sign the marriage certificate for him. The bride and the groom's sister went to the JOP. I am not sure why they did not wait, they both had children so it might have been a benefits thing or could have even been a "what if he does not come back" thing. I am honestly not sure.

    I am just interested in seeing what people would think about the couple having a small ceremony when he got home? I know the normal idea is, you make the decision so you have to own it, but I would assume there is an exception with every rule. To be clear, they are not doing this, I just thought it would be an interesting case study.


    Thinking that there are exceptions is what leads to PPDs in the first place. 

    I thought I could have a PPD because my husband and I eloped. I am so glad that I came to my senses and owned my choice like a big girl. 
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Disgusting. They reap the literal benefits of a JOP wedding but then turn around and say it wasn't real so they can justify having a PPD.

    Assholes.

    I had a friend who said she needed to marry her FI before he deployed so they'd get more money (combat pay, I believe) to use for the "real" wedding. I called her out on it, and she said, "I don't know why you're so mad. He's putting his life on the line for your freedom, so we're kind of owed a real wedding."

    I told her to fuck off because soldiers are not the only ones who risk their lives for others. She said, "Well, police officers and firefighters don't go overseas, so it's a combination of taking a risk AND being away from their loved ones."

    Needless to say, we are no longer friends. It took every ounce of my wits to keep my mouth shut about her stupid PPD, as the only people who knew were her parents and his parents. I found out because their marriage license showed up in the local newspaper and I called to ask her about it.

    hellohkbKatieinBklngolden1215
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2015
    aliwis000 said:
    Hmm...this made me think of a question...


     I have a cousin who married her SO while he was over seas. She actually had a proxy (the grooms sister) sign for him. He was in the army fighting and they filed paperwork so that his sister could sign the marriage certificate for him. The bride and the groom's sister went to the JOP. I am not sure why they did not wait, they both had children so it might have been a benefits thing or could have even been a "what if he does not come back" thing. I am honestly not sure.

    I am just interested in seeing what people would think about the couple having a small ceremony when he got home? I know the normal idea is, you make the decision so you have to own it, but I would assume there is an exception with every rule. To be clear, they are not doing this, I just thought it would be an interesting case study.


    No. They're already married. They need to own their decision like the adults they are.

    Now, they CAN have a party. There is nothing wrong with having a party to celebrate their marriage. It just wouldn't be wedding-ish. No wedding dress. No attendants. No showers. No wedding cake (a sheet cake would be fine). They can even cut the cake if they wish, since most guests of honor do that to start dessert (I've seen it done at birthdays and graduations).

    It can be seen as a bit of a gift grab, so you really have to know your crowd. I don't side-eye it as much if the couple decides to throw a party on their first anniversary or something.

    NoneForUs
  • aliwis000 said:
    Hmm...this made me think of a question...


     I have a cousin who married her SO while he was over seas. She actually had a proxy (the grooms sister) sign for him. He was in the army fighting and they filed paperwork so that his sister could sign the marriage certificate for him. The bride and the groom's sister went to the JOP. I am not sure why they did not wait, they both had children so it might have been a benefits thing or could have even been a "what if he does not come back" thing. I am honestly not sure.

    I am just interested in seeing what people would think about the couple having a small ceremony when he got home? I know the normal idea is, you make the decision so you have to own it, but I would assume there is an exception with every rule. To be clear, they are not doing this, I just thought it would be an interesting case study.


    No. They're already married. They need to own their decision like the adults they are.

    Now, they CAN have a party. There is nothing wrong with having a party to celebrate their marriage. It just wouldn't be wedding-ish. No wedding dress. No attendants. No showers. No wedding cake (a sheet cake would be fine). They can even cut the cake if they wish, since most guests of honor do that to start dessert (I've seen it done at birthdays and graduations).

    It can be seen as a bit of a gift grab, so you really have to know your crowd. I don't side-eye it as much if the couple decides to throw a party on their first anniversary or something.
    THIS. Parties are great. Pretend weddings are not. 
    [Deleted User]
  • Disgusting. They reap the literal benefits of a JOP wedding but then turn around and say it wasn't real so they can justify having a PPD.

    Assholes.

    I had a friend who said she needed to marry her FI before he deployed so they'd get more money (combat pay, I believe) to use for the "real" wedding. I called her out on it, and she said, "I don't know why you're so mad. He's putting his life on the line for your freedom, so we're kind of owed a real wedding."

    I told her to fuck off because soldiers are not the only ones who risk their lives for others. She said, "Well, police officers and firefighters don't go overseas, so it's a combination of taking a risk AND being away from their loved ones."

    Needless to say, we are no longer friends. It took every ounce of my wits to keep my mouth shut about her stupid PPD, as the only people who knew were her parents and his parents. I found out because their marriage license showed up in the local newspaper and I called to ask her about it.
    So military personnel are allowed to be entitled and lying assholes because they fight for freedom?! Good to know!

    I am so glad that my veteran cousin and his wife did not have a PPD. Maybe it is because they are real adults and not spoiled kids playing pretend. 
  • FI suggested we go ahead and have the judge marry us when we go get our marriage license so I can get into DEERs sooner...I was shocked and told him we would wait until our wedding day.  I don't know what his sudden rush is, the wedding is only 3 months away. 

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    runsonveggies
  • My younger stepsister married her BF before her 18th birthday so she could get the military insurance/bigger paycheck. They had a child when she was 16, he joined for obvious reasons. Then a few months later they had the "real" wedding. As a military wife myself at that point for 2 years they were dumbfounded when I did not come home for the "wedding."  I had a JOP wedding that was lovely, in my mom's house, and guess what, it counted. They made a mockery of my first wedding...basically saying mine didn't count since it didn't have the poofy dress, etc. So yeah...wasn't paying to fly back home for a PPD. If it counts for the military....it's real...no reason to have a redo. 
    thespeshulestsnowflake[Deleted User]NoneForUsAmbibery
  • I can't say for sure but I think that post is sarcastic and not actually condoning those practices (I mean obviously the second one but possibly also the first one).  OSMW stands for Overly Sensitive Military Wives and is like dedicated to making fun of military wives so that would lead me to believe it's being critical of those positions.
    hellohkb
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If the military believes that a "marriage" was held solely to collect military benefits because the couple don't otherwise hold themselves out as "married," they could cut off the benefits and otherwise come down very hard on the member(s) of the couple who are active service members for conduct unbecoming a member of the military or another offense.
  • I'm all for private vow renewals is that is what the couple wants. After all, a couple having a private ceremony doesn't affect anyone else. Why can't military couples have private vow renewals instead of having a fake wedding and inviting guests? 
    [Deleted User]Fleur67
  • I can't say for sure but I think that post is sarcastic and not actually condoning those practices (I mean obviously the second one but possibly also the first one).  OSMW stands for Overly Sensitive Military Wives and is like dedicated to making fun of military wives so that would lead me to believe it's being critical of those positions.
    I follow the page so I know they make fun of the crazy military wives (not all military wives), but this post was part of a bunch the admin made with the point of distinguishing between normal military wives and the crazies. I was actually really surprised that he or she wasn't being critical of the 2 weddings thing. You should have read some of the comments.  
  • This is embarrassing.

    Im not saying anyone is but PLEASE don't think all of us are this way. Yes, I have to say the majority are, but there's a beautiful amount who are not so....disgusting. I am planning an etiquette approved afair that you ladies would be most proud of! :-)
    [Deleted User]Ambibery
  • NoneForUs said:
    I'm all for private vow renewals is that is what the couple wants. After all, a couple having a private ceremony doesn't affect anyone else. Why can't military couples have private vow renewals instead of having a fake wedding and inviting guests? 
    Because this would mean they didn't get the big poofy white dress princess party that they are entitled to. Duh.

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    NoneForUs
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