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Customs and Traditions

fewer bridesmaids than groomsmen

My fiance insisted on having 4 groomsmen. While I have gotten him to narrow it down to 3, making one an usher, I still only have 2 bridesmaids which are both my sisters. He keeps suggesting girls I could ask to be my 3rd bridesmaid but I just don't feel comfortable asking someone I barely know to stand beside me on the most important day of my life. I don't think that have 2 bridesmaids to his 3 groomsmen is a horrible idea. I was wondering if anyone has made this work in their wedding and ideas I could use to make it not look so awkward. 
Thanks

Re: fewer bridesmaids than groomsmen

  • Unequal numbers are fine. Few people now have bridal party only tables at receptions where attendants are paired off, and I can't remember the last time I saw bridal party dances where His and Hers danced together instead of with own SO .

    Every now and again as a BP member I have heard a MOB or MOG suggest such things but everyone staring at them like a second head appeared on their shoulders usually cuts off BP pairing off and SO being assigned to other tables or not dancing.
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Why did you "get him" to narrow it down at all?  And why is he suggesting people for YOUR side?  Y'all need to pick your OWN people and be done with it.

    Uneven sides are fine.  Don't ask someone just to have even numbers; that's a recipe for trouble down the road.


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    Blue_Birdemmaaawrigleyvilleesstee33
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Let him have his four guys, have two guys walk with each bridesmaid...one on each arm.
    Or have two walk with the bridesmaids and two escort the moms.
    But pleaser let him have all four guys and don't you feel pressured to add any more gals. Each of you should have the people you want up there with you.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    Blue_Birdemmaaa[Deleted User]esstee33
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2015
    Did he "demote" the groomsman to usher, or was this before he even asked? If he had asked this guy to be a groomsman and then asked him to be an usher instead, that's pretty rude. If he wants four groomsmen, let him have four. These are supposed to be positions of honor for your closest friends. The sides don't have to be even or close to even.

    As other posters said, the two bridesmaids could walk in/out with a groomsman on either side of them.

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    emmaaa
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    whitwilly said:
    My fiance insisted on having 4 groomsmen. While I have gotten him to narrow it down to 3, making one an usher, I still only have 2 bridesmaids which are both my sisters. He keeps suggesting girls I could ask to be my 3rd bridesmaid but I just don't feel comfortable asking someone I barely know to stand beside me on the most important day of my life. I don't think that have 2 bridesmaids to his 3 groomsmen is a horrible idea. I was wondering if anyone has made this work in their wedding and ideas I could use to make it not look so awkward. 
    Thanks

    But you were okay making your FI demote one of his GM to an usher?  That is not cool.

    My H had 5 guys and I had 2 girls.  The world still turned.  Our pictures are fucking amazing.  And no one stood up, counted out loud and then proclaimed "Hey, the sides are uneven."  Apologize to your FI for having a crazy bride moment and tell him to apologize to his friend for demotion and make him a GM again.

    wrigleyville[Deleted User]
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I walked with two guys in the last wedding I was in.  NBD.  Seriously.  The pictures looked great and each side had the people they were closest to as members of the WP.  The only awkward part was that they wanted me to walk arm in arm with both guys over uneven grass in wedges half a size too small that the bride bought for us to wear (and gave us the day of) and one guy was my height and the other was a foot taller. It would have been been better to just have us walk down the aisle without looped arms, but seriously, that was the only (very easily avoidable) problem. 

    Sides don't have to be even.  You don't get a say over your FI's side and he doesn't get a say over yours.  Pick the people you are closest to. 


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  • Uneven sides is fine or you can add in bridesmen to your side if you want. That's what I did. 
  • whitwilly said:
    My fiance insisted on having 4 groomsmen. While I have gotten him to narrow it down to 3, making one an usher, I still only have 2 bridesmaids which are both my sisters. He keeps suggesting girls I could ask to be my 3rd bridesmaid but I just don't feel comfortable asking someone I barely know to stand beside me on the most important day of my life. I don't think that have 2 bridesmaids to his 3 groomsmen is a horrible idea. I was wondering if anyone has made this work in their wedding and ideas I could use to make it not look so awkward. 
    Thanks

    I originally wanted to have equal sides as well to be traditional in that aspect, but it didn't work out that we both wanted to ask the same number of people...I haven't had my wedding yet I'm a little unsettled about him having a few more in his party then me, but it's his friends and if he feels really close to all of them, I shouldn't make him narrow his groomsmen down and make him feel like he's leaving important people out. We toyed with the idea of asking his "least closest" of the bunch (sorry, they did have an order of who he was first and last closest too) to be ushers, but since we'd hate to offend them...they were asked to be groomsmen. They were actually a little surprised they were asked, but glad to be a part of his party. So we will have uneven sides and I'm sure once the big day comes, I won't even notice because we'll both be enjoying the most important day so far with each other.

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    hpubride
  • I really don't think it will look awkward and photographers have unique ways of setting up formals so it won't stick out. Don't listen to those who might say it will look awkward - my Mom was worried about the uneven issue. I think it's more of an issue for those who are used to the traditional, even sides that were once so common. Now anything goes.

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