Bridesmaid dresses help

Re: Bridesmaid dresses help

• artbyallie mod

  

  January 2015

  charlottesmom0626 said:

  Hi ladies-
  So originally my BMs and I discussed having them buy or wear a dress they would wear again for the wedding. I didn't want to ask my girls to go to a store to buy matching dresses for this one day that they won't ever wear again.
  
  Then I showed them color swatches, examples, pictures, and shopped online/window shopped with the girls.
  
  Recently they have showed me the dresses they bought. None of them are within the color scheme I suggested, and they're all very different in terms of cut, fabric, etc. I know this is the reason why most people just buy the same dress for all of the girls, or go someplace like David's Bridal to pick out dresses by the same designer.
  
  So I guess my question is what do I do now?
  Do I ask the girls to return their dresses (if possible) and try to find new ones that go better together?
  Should I pick-out new dresses, get their approval, and then offer to buy them myself?
  
   I'm very worried about their budgets because this wasn't an expense we previously discussed. I assumed if they were buying their own dresses they would stay within their own budgets.
  

  Let it go.

  
  

  Since you let them choose with minimal guidance (did you actually tell them a fabric to get?) you do not get any veto on what they select.

  
  

  And when you say it's not in the color scheme, what do you mean? You kind of have a point if you said purple and they bought orange, but not if you said purple and they bought slightly-more-different-purple.

  

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• MobKaz member

  

  January 2015

  I agree with @artbyallie. Unless the color scheme is way off base, or someone bought a long dress when you specified short, I would try to let it go as well. You can always "unify" their look by incorporating their dress colors into their bouquets.

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• AddieCake member

  

  January 2015

  Agree with PPs. What color did you say, and what colors did they get?

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• charlottesmom0626 member

  

  January 2015

  Thanks ladies! That's pretty much how I felt about it too, but I wasn't sure.
  
  I asked for blush, peach, or a warm neutral tone like khaki, or taupe.
  
  One was dark rose, one was white/ivory, and the last was champagne.
  
  The one who is bought rose actually wasn't in love with that dress and returned it, so I asked more specifically to try to go with a blush pink or neutral and showed her some more pictures.
  
  The champagne one doesn't fit properly and she wants to get it tailored but it's actually SO big that might not be possible...
  
  and the White/ivory dress is the reception dress from her own wedding last summer.
  

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• MobKaz member

  

  January 2015

  charlottesmom0626 said:

  Thanks ladies! That's pretty much how I felt about it too, but I wasn't sure.
  
  I asked for blush, peach, or a warm neutral tone like khaki, or taupe.
  
  One was dark rose, one was white/ivory, and the last was champagne.
  
  The one who is bought rose actually wasn't in love with that dress and returned it, so I asked more specifically to try to go with a blush pink or neutral and showed her some more pictures.
  
  The champagne one doesn't fit properly and she wants to get it tailored but it's actually SO big that might not be possible...
  
  and the White/ivory dress is the reception dress from her own wedding last summer.
  

  I would totally side-eye this choice.  I applaud you for not making a big deal out of it.
  

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• artbyallie mod

  

  January 2015

  IMO, champagne fits the 'warm neutral tone' guideline. And the rose is getting returned, so it sounds like your only problem is the one who wants to wear her reception dress. I think I'd probably say something to her. It's probably wiser to focus on the fact that it's white rather than taupe/blush/etc, but I'd probably be unable to help myself and just go, "Um, you wore that for your wedding. It's a wedding dress."

  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  charlottesmom0626 said:

  Hi ladies-
  So originally my BMs and I discussed having them buy or wear a dress they would wear again for the wedding. I didn't want to ask my girls to go to a store to buy matching dresses for this one day that they won't ever wear again.
  
  Then I showed them color swatches, examples, pictures, and shopped online/window shopped with the girls.
  
  Recently they have showed me the dresses they bought. None of them are within the color scheme I suggested, and they're all very different in terms of cut, fabric, etc. I know this is the reason why most people just buy the same dress for all of the girls, or go someplace like David's Bridal to pick out dresses by the same designer.
  
  So I guess my question is what do I do now?
  Do I ask the girls to return their dresses (if possible) and try to find new ones that go better together?
  Should I pick-out new dresses, get their approval, and then offer to buy them myself?
  
   I'm very worried about their budgets because this wasn't an expense we previously discussed. I assumed if they were buying their own dresses they would stay within their own budgets.
  

  Did you give them each physical color swatches they could take shopping with them?
  
  I gave each of my BM's a set of color swatches to use when shopping.  How else would they have been able to see if the colors they were looking at were close enough to my palette?
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  artbyallie said:

  IMO, champagne fits the 'warm neutral tone' guideline. And the rose is getting returned, so it sounds like your only problem is the one who wants to wear her reception dress. I think I'd probably say something to her. It's probably wiser to focus on the fact that it's white rather than taupe/blush/etc, but I'd probably be unable to help myself and just go, "Um, you wore that for your wedding. It's a wedding dress."

  Yeah, champagne is a warm neutral tone.
  
  The white/ivory dress is inappropriate because it's not in your chosen color palette. . . not by virtue of the fact that it's white/ivory and only the bride can wear white/ivory.  I roll my eyes at that bullshit.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• charlottesmom0626 member

  

  January 2015

  @prettygirllost When we went to go shopping for my dress all three of the girls were there. We looked up dresses together on my iPad and in the bridal store. They seemed to all like the idea and be in agreement with the color palette...you're right that I should have given them swatches specifcally, but as I mentioned in the original post, I didn't realize it would be so difficult. I don't blame the girls for that..
  
  When my MOH told me she wanted to wear that white dress, what I said was "I remember that dress being white, right? I was hoping for a darker neutral tone like taupe, khaki, or blush tones". What I should have probably said was "I really love that dress, but for my wedding I would like you to wear this color, or this color" and actually give her swatches.
  
  and TBH I think all white bridal parties are gorgeous- it just wasn't the "look" I was going for. I could care less if she wore her wedding dress if it was the right color. Does that make sense?
  
  I talked to my MOH and she was on board with buying a new dress (since she didn't buy the one she was planning on wearing, the white one from her wedding the year before). My other BM who bought a dress and returned it, was also interested in a new dress.
  
  The last BM (champagne) did pick a color within the neutral tones, as you guys pointed out, I guess I was just a little worried since the other two didn't that they wouldn't "go".
  
  All is fine thanks for letting me go crazy bride for a hot second
  

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