YAAASSSS!!

mrsconn23 · January 2015

http://jezebel.com/very-blessed-new-mom-wishes-she-had-been-warned-more-ab-1680450502

TL;DR

Some HuffPo Blog post from a lady espousing how wonderful and magical she felt after giving birth is making the social media rounds and people are holding it up as a bastion of wonderfulness about how birthing a kid is all rainbow farts and glitter tears...I read it and hated it. This article articulates my hatred of said post.

DixieNormous330 · January 2015

Totally agree. I just hit the 3rd trimester and I'm starting to have anxiety over having a newborn again.

Heffalump · January 2015

I would expect nothing less than this post from someone who calls her blog "Born to be a Bride." Really? That's what you were born to be? At least it's a low bar, I guess. I want to hear from her when her kid is three and just gave the cat a haircut.

Also, I hate when people say pregnancy is 10 months, not 9. Hate it. 40 weeks is only 10 months if every month is February.

mrsconn23 · January 2015

Exactly, Heffa.

Or when they let the kid sleep in their bed for 'just a night' and that one night turns out to be 7 months and she and her H haven't had sex at all during that time. (No, this is not my life, thank GOD)

I'm also tired of the parenting game being blissful or 'the little fucker(s) that ruined my life'. Parenting can be just OK. Some days are great, some are terrible, and most are just getting though that day and on to the next with nothing great or terrible happening.

You can love your kids and want to be with them as much as possible, but also be really, really happy about being away from them for a short period of time. You can also think your kids are really great, funny, and wonderful, but also be bored to tears by the mundane-ness of day in, day out parenting. You can also fantasize about the days when it's just you and your H, but not want time to move too fast. It's all a continuum, like everything else in life.

mrsconn23 · January 2015

Also, I didn't feel that 'rush of love' when DefConn was first born. I felt relief that there was no longer intense pressure/pain in my nether regions and then I was just really fucking tired. Plus, I distinctly remember feeling like there was a stranger in the room when the nurses cleared out and it was just me, DH, and DefConn. I was also like, "SO what am I supposed to do now? When am I supposed to feed him? Is someone going to tell me what to do and when?"

Heffalump · January 2015

I also hate when mothers refer to themselves as mommies, but that's probably just a personal pet peeve. DD and DS call me Mommy, it's not something I refer to myself as.

i2i, mrs.conn. I enjoy my kids' company, and there are days that I'm at work and I miss them and wish that we were all home. And then there are days that I tell myself "If I can make it through the next 10 minutes, DD will be on the bus and DH will be driving DS to daycare, and I'll be able to hear myself think for a change."

If y'all haven't read "About Jensy" yet, you so should.

And, in closing, I also hate people who refer to kids as "Littles." I guess I am filled with hate today.

mrsconn23 · January 2015

DefConn calls me 'mama' and I love it. He'll sometimes call me 'mommy' and it's usually when he's on the toilet and needs me to wipe his butt.

Yeah, I don't call my kids 'littles' usually. I think 'kids' covers the spectrum.

I don't wanna read about Jensy...You can't make me.

DAMN IT. Curiosity won out.

Of course she loves 'all things sparkly'.

And Willow fucking Primrose? That's...redundant feeling to me.

6fsn · January 2015

I've never heard the term littles.

When we came home with 6let in his little carrier my dad said "where are you going to put him?" I remember the sheer terror of not knowing what the hell to do with this tiny creature.

mrsconn23 · January 2015

I remember wanting to smack the shit out of H when DefConn cried the entire first night home and he says to me, "I don't remember the kiddo doing this." with an implication that there was somehow something *wrong* with DefConn. I think I yelled at him that he didn't remember shit because it had been 10 years.

PMeg819 · January 2015

I call 2014 the year I survived. Having 2 kids was rough. Having a newborn alone is rough. I cried the first week DD was home because she was so tiny. She was a full 2 pounds smaller than DS when he was born and she was full term. I thought I had done something wrong (she was totally healthy). I cried because she cried a ton because of the reflux. I cried because I couldn't give my son the one on one time I had before hand. Parenting was and is ugly. I love my children dearly. The happiest moments are the ones where the kids are playing together, laughing. The little things. But some days I look at the wreckage and thank god I make enough to pay for therapy for myself and the kids when they are older.

I'm not perfect. My kids aren't either. But life isn't always a blissful cloud and there is reality. But on the other end, I hate the people who bitch about their kids. Sorry your daughter is watching Frozen for the 3498457th time and you want to murder Olaf. The snarky blogs about parenting are wearing thin.

DixieNormous330 · January 2015

There are so many days that I come home from work and just want to play on my phone or ipad. There are days that I can't wait to get home to play with PF. Most of the nights these days are spent praying for her to FINALLY go to sleep so I can cram food in my mouth and go to bed.

@mrs.conn23 is right - it's ok for parenting to be just ok. It's such a mixed bag of things. Especially when you have no privacy and no time to yourself.

baconsmom · January 2015

PMeg819 said:

But on the other end, I hate the people who bitch about their kids. Sorry your daughter is watching Frozen for the 3498457th time and you want to murder Olaf.

I just don't get these complaints. Isn't the point of sticking the kid in front of the TV to go do something else? In another room? That's how I always worked it - hell, that's *still* how I work it.

mrsconn23 · January 2015

baconsmom said:

PMeg819 said:

But on the other end, I hate the people who bitch about their kids. Sorry your daughter is watching Frozen for the 3498457th time and you want to murder Olaf.

I just don't get these complaints. Isn't the point of sticking the kid in front of the TV to go do something else? In another room? That's how I always worked it - hell, that's *still* how I work it.

OR you say, "NO, mom's not going to put on Frozen today (for the first, second, or trillonth) time and we're going to do/watch xyz instead." I find that kids can get over being told no. Usually pretty quickly, especially if you ignore a tantrum/put them somewhere to chillax until they are over it.

PMeg819 · January 2015

I think the part of the parenting culture I see is that everyone has to choose a camp. You designate yourself "crunchy" or "free-range" or whatever. Everyone has to have a label for how they raise their kids. Any everyone says "I'm not going to judge what other people do." Spoiler alert, everyone judges. Everyone judges every little thing and it's not going to stop. Use common sense and stop acting like a martyr.

I also agree- they aren't littles. They are children or kids. I'm Mom but for the love of all that is holy, I'm not just a mommy. I have a name and I refuse to be defined by just that.

Heffalump · January 2015

mrs.conn23 said:

Of course she loves 'all things sparkly'.

And Willow fucking Primrose? That's...redundant feeling to me.

As soon as I read "Willow Primrose," I thought, to quote DH, "Ain't surprised." She and Willow (who is what, three months old?), are "obsessed" with some mommy-daughter head wraps she's pushing. I get the feeling that being her daughter is going to be a LOT of work. Poor Jensy's head is going to explode the first time Willow announces "I decided to wear my soccer shorts over my penguin tights."

mrsconn23 · January 2015

I want to stab people who label their 'parenting style'.

My style is, "Do my best and hope I don't fuck them up for life."

baconsmom · January 2015

Okay, I read the thing on Jezebel now, and...wow. Just...wow.

I do remember loving Bacon right away - but she'd been a little person inside me for months. At least, that's how I saw it. I also remember being unbelievably anxious, all the time. I tried to sleep when she did, but I couldn't, because what if she stopped breathing? What if she suddenly got sick and never woke up? What if ninjas came in through the window and stole her? What if the world ends and she dies and I sleep through it because I'm exhausted? Better just stay up, me and my irrational adrenaline!

Like, you can be happy, and still be tired, or frustrated, or whatever. I don't believe for a second her life is that perfect. No one's is. Stop putting it forth as a narrative with the implicit belief behind it that anyone can achieve it.

Also, she seems really fixated on weight. Just me? I hope her daughter isn't a chunk like I was - perfectionist mom + chubby kid = lifelong body dysmorphia FTW!

Heffalump · January 2015

baconsmom said:
Also, she seems really fixated on weight. Just me? I hope her daughter isn't a chunk like I was - perfectionist mom + chubby kid = lifelong body dysmorphia FTW!

That made me head tilt, too--I'm paraphrasing, but basically "Now I'm obsessed with her weight instead of mine!" Um...good for you?

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