I’ve lurked here for a while, and I’ve made a few comments
here and there. Time for me to be less of a stranger! So I’m gonna introduce myself (hi!) and
tell you a story. I think I’m
asking for advice, but I’m afraid I know what we should do.
TL,DR: Sent a STD to a social unit that has since
split. She plans to attend the
wedding just so she can see him and make a scene.
Our wedding is in April. We sent out our STDs ~1 month ago (kinda late, yeah). Prior to sending them, I texted a friend, “Jack,” and asked
him for his and his SO’s (“Diane”) new address. He sent me the address and then told me he was on his way to
a different state. We all travel a
lot for work, so there was a chance that it was business, but I had a moment of
snark and joked to FI that maybe he left Diane and was going to see some girl
he had mentioned in passing a few weeks earlier.
Diane got the STD while he was out of town. Of course, we addressed it to the two
of them; hell, they’d been together for 10+ years. Turns out, my spidey sense was right. He’s left her. He’s shacked up with another girl. Diane is not handling it well. She is one visit to the pet store from
boiling a bunny.
We sent the STD to both of them as one social unit. Now they’re not. Although we’re not really friends with
her, FI and I planned to invite both Jack and Diane separately and a SO/+1 for
each of them. We figured that we’d
already told her to expect an invite, so that’d be the polite thing to do
(can’t un-squeeze a tube of toothpaste and all that). At first, I thought there’d be no way she’d travel to attend
the wedding of her ex’s friends.
But we realized that she’d probably come just so she can see him. That’s her big
girl choice to make.
This week, she told our MOH that if Jack shows up to our
wedding with New Girl, she’s going to cause a huge scene. Who does
that? Who spends
gas/airfare/hotel/etc. just to go to a party and crap on the day? We’re not so speshul that something
like that would ruin the Vision of our Pin-tacular day or anything. We’d probably just sit back with
another beer and watch the show.
However, I HATE the idea of her coming only for her to have a bad time
and to get her heart even more broken.
I can see her having visions of him glimpsing her across the room. In that glimmering moment he sees how
wrong he was to ever stray.
Fireworks and pixie dust sparkle around them as he runs to her and they
ride off into the sunset on unicorns.
Now that we know she INTENDS to come and make a stink, I’m not
all that excited about being polite.
She’s not the part of the former social unit that we are friends with,
she’s not planning to come and celebrate with us, and she’s planning to be a
brat. The asshole part of me wants
to call her and tell her that the event is only for adults and she’s not
planning on acting like one, so...
In
the end, we’ll probably just send her an invite and hope that she decides to invest in a snazzy new pair of big girl panties. Just wanted to vent, I guess. But if you have some sage words of
advice (or wine) let me know!