Bridesmaids problems. Please Help!!

Re: Bridesmaids problems. Please Help!!

• banana468 member

  

  January 2015

  Can you elaborate a bit more?

  
  

  Is it a cost issue for the BMs to have it where the MOH wants?   Does the bride hate the location?   Why doesn't she like it?

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• esstee33 member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  Knottie08987118 said: Hi Everyone,
  I am a bridesmaid, one of 7 (including the Maid of Honor).  We are having many issues with the MOH in planning the bridal shower.  Most of us bridesmaids are on the same page with the location and cost, however the MOH wants to hold it at a venue the bride specifically said she does not want it.  We have tried so many angles and brought up other locations that are cheaper but still nice and the MOH always has something to say about it and its getting to the point where she is saying "we are having it {here}"  "we are not having it {here}' "its decided"
  How can we convince this MOH to go in our direction without becoming enemies?
  Please Help!
  
  
  *************
  
  
  I feel like someone needs to remind the MOH that the shower is an event thrown for the bride and the bride specifically said not that venue. Why does she want to do the exact opposite of what the bride wants? 

  Report1 Reply
• huskypuppy14 member

  

  January 2015

  Knottie08987118 said:

  Hi Everyone,
  I am a bridesmaid, one of 7 (including the Maid of Honor).  We are having many issues with the MOH in planning the bridal shower.  Most of us bridesmaids are on the same page with the location and cost, however the MOH wants to hold it at a venue the bride specifically said she does not want it.  We have tried so many angles and brought up other locations that are cheaper but still nice and the MOH always has something to say about it and its getting to the point where she is saying "we are having it {here}"  "we are not having it {here}' "its decided"
  How can we convince this MOH to go in our direction without becoming enemies?
  Please Help!
  

  If she wants to make a unilateral decision, she can pay for all of it herself. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Report6 Reply
• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  Knottie08987118 said:

  Hi Everyone,
  I am a bridesmaid, one of 7 (including the Maid of Honor).  We are having many issues with the MOH in planning the bridal shower.  Most of us bridesmaids are on the same page with the location and cost, however the MOH wants to hold it at a venue the bride specifically said she does not want it.  We have tried so many angles and brought up other locations that are cheaper but still nice and the MOH always has something to say about it and its getting to the point where she is saying "we are having it {here}"  "we are not having it {here}' "its decided"
  How can we convince this MOH to go in our direction without becoming enemies?
  Please Help!
  

  The rest of the bridal party needs to very calmly and clearly tell the MOH, "I can afford to contribute X amount to this shower, and not a penny more.  I cannot afford to co-host this event with you at the venue you are insisting on- which the Bride specifically asked us not to use.  If you won't accept that and be flexible, then you have to understand I will not be participating financially in this shower."
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

  Report10 Reply
• futuremrssaleh member

  

  January 2015

  Be honest and stand your ground!  Sometimes it can be difficult when so many people are involved and one person (MOH) thinks they should make all of the decisions.  Take this from someone who was involved in a wedding where the MOH took all of our money and spent it!  Everything worked out in the end, but it certainly made the situation uncomfortable and took away from the fun it is supposed to be for the bridal party!  Try your best to keep calm while figuring it out, because in the end she needs to realize its not about HER, its about the BRIDE!

  Report0 Reply
• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  January 2015

  Just tell her that this is a co-hosted shower (if y'all are contributing). If she wants to be the only one to decide she can host it herself. You can find a nice way to say that. Or put out a vote to the group if everyone is contributing evenly. Majority rules.

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• thisismynickname2 member

  

  January 2015

  Great advice above. I just think you have to reiterate what the BRIDE wants.

  
  

  I was in a similar situation, but it was a rogue bridesmaid and not the MOH trying to force us into hosting what we couldn't afford. In our case, we used the bride's mother as the trump card. 

  ________________________________

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2015

  Tell the MOH, "MOH, we're sorry, but this venue isn't workable for us or the bride. If you insist on having it there, no one else will be attending."

  Report0 Reply
• SP29 member

  

  January 2015

  Agree with the above, tell the MOH that you cannot support this venue and thus are unable to contribute. If she wants to make the decisions all on her own then she can host (plan, pay and set up) the event alone. 

  Report0 Reply