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2 People Marrying Us

bahamabride2015bahamabride2015 member
100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Ok so this is kind of odd but in an attempt to appease FI's grandfather (Papu) because we can't get married in the Greek church, we asked FI's uncle from the states to "Marry" us as he is very active in the church where he lives and does inspirational speaking etc (which made Papu very happy).  Now, because he doesn't live here and isn't licensed to actually legally marry people here (and to avoid a PPD) I was thinking of just having a government marriage officer participate in the ceremony and officially marry us.  

Just wondering if anyone has any advice or resources on how to make this work? I want to make sure it isn't confusing or busy during the ceremony so obviously the uncle would be doing more of a reading rather than marry us but any ideas/suggestions/wording that you have seen work?

Thanks! 
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Re: 2 People Marrying Us

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    bahamabride2015 said:
    Ok so this is kind of odd but in an attempt to appease FI's grandfather (Papu) because we can't get married in the Greek church, we asked FI's uncle from the states to "Marry" us as he is very active in the church where he lives and does inspirational speaking etc (which made Papu very happy).  Now, because he doesn't live here and isn't licensed to actually legally marry people here (and to avoid a PPD) I was thinking of just having a government marriage officer participate in the ceremony and officially marry us.  

    Just wondering if anyone has any advice or resources on how to make this work? I want to make sure it isn't confusing or busy during the ceremony so obviously the uncle would be doing more of a reading rather than marry us but any ideas/suggestions/wording that you have seen work?

    Thanks! 
    Just have the uncle do a reading.

    Are you doing this for you & your FI, or is this just to appease FI's grandfather?  I'd encourage you & your FI to set clear boundaries with his parents and grandparents regarding the role religion will play in your lives.




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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    They just did this at a wedding I was at.  A mentor of the bride and groom did a little reading/intro/mini sermon and then the official officiant led the vows and married them.  It was pretty seamless.  The mentor spoke first and then just stepped back and let the officiant take over.  


    image
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  • destinationtake2destinationtake2 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Time2strtliving said:
    They just did this at a wedding I was at.  A mentor of the bride and groom did a little reading/intro/mini sermon and then the official officiant led the vows and married them.  It was pretty seamless.  The mentor spoke first and then just stepped back and let the officiant take over.  
    I've seen something very similar.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I agree with Sarah, stick with just a reading. Though I don't understand how this makes your FI's grandfather happy if he's Greek Orthodox, since it is in no way equivalent. And potentially offensive to members of that church. Particularly if your FI is not active in it. 
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  • mrscomposermrscomposer member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    We're having two officiants, since my pastor from back home isn't ordained in the province where we're getting married. He's doing the welcome and the sermon, and then our pastor from here is doing the vow/rings/signing.

    We just talked to each of them separately, then put them in contact with each other and they dealt with the minutiae of it. Since they're the ones doing the transitioning, they can discuss how they want to do it.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    jsangel1018 said:
    We're having two officiants, since my pastor from back home isn't ordained in the province where we're getting married. He's doing the welcome and the sermon, and then our pastor from here is doing the vow/rings/signing.

    We just talked to each of them separately, then put them in contact with each other and they dealt with the minutiae of it. Since they're the ones doing the transitioning, they can discuss how they want to do it.

    This is different because presumably your officiants are of the same faith, just different locations. OP is talking about having a religious person (priest? not sure if he has a specific title in this case) co-officiate at a secular wedding.
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  • bahamabride2015bahamabride2015 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    His grandfather knows it won't be a religious ceremony as neither FI or I are religious.  This is just making him happy because one of his sons is taking part and doing the a  "blessing" the marriage.  We're not parading it around as a Greek orthodox wedding in any way.  Other than his grandparents, there won't be anyone who is active in the Greek church here in attendance. 
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    bahamabride2015 said:
    His grandfather knows it won't be a religious ceremony as neither FI or I are religious.  This is just making him happy because one of his sons is taking part and doing the a  "blessing" the marriage.  We're not parading it around as a Greek orthodox wedding in any way.  Other than his grandparents, there won't be anyone who is active in the Greek church here in attendance. 
    Well, I'm glad at any rate that the main ones who should be offended won't be. I still don't find it appropriate to 'bless' a marriage where the participants do not follow the faith doing the 'blessing.' My two cents.
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  • moorewedding530moorewedding530 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    The church I'm getting married in (and grew up in) requires one of the church leaders to be a part of the ceremony. He will be doing our mini-sermon. My FI's brother, who is in the process of becoming ordained, will do our vows and actually marry us. I think it's actually kinda cool to have more than one person marry a couple, or be a part of the ceremony. You could bring together important people from both of your lives. Plus, if you are not religious and it doesn't bother you, you could have someone be ordained online. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I realize you want to make your FI's grandfather happy, but I think that if you and your FI aren't practicing Greek Orthodox, it really isn't appropriate to try to "appease" him with a Greek Orthodox ceremony or even a blessing.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    moorewedding530  It is considered bad form to bump threads that are more than a month old. Some of the threads you are bumping up have OPs that have not logged on The Knot for several months. If you nave questions or would like to start a new discussion you are welcome to start a new thread, but please refrain form bumping zombie threads. :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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