Where should our ceremony be held??

andirae2013 · January 2015

J and I are both originally from Canada. By the time we get married we will have been in Texas nearly 2 years (NYE 2015 engagement, Oct/2016 wedding).A few people, mostly parents, are having a fit over us not getting married in Canada. Its not our home any longer, and it's a second marriage for both, so we don't see what the fuss is about.

AddieCake · January 2015

Who is paying? If it's you, you should get married where you want.

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

I need more info to vote... Who's footing the bill?

blabla89 · January 2015

If your parents are paying, that does give them some influence over where the wedding is held. If not, then have it wherever you like. There is nothing wrong with having an OOT wedding, especially if it's local for you. Just be prepared that many guests may not come because of the distance.

mollybarker11 · January 2015

Agree with the others. Out of curiosity how will your citizenship affect the process? Not that you should just get married wherever it's "easiest"/less paperwork, but I make pro & con lists for everything so it would be a factor for me.

manateehugger · January 2015

My concern would be people who would need passports and lots of funds to get from Canada to Texas.

But if you know your VIPs wouldn't have an issue, you'd be ok with a higher decline rate, and you're paying for it - do what works for you.

WhatawagSBNy · January 2015

Airport location in Alberta is something you did not mention but I assume would consider.

Lots of people who will fly from one place to another quite happily, will not fly then rent a car and drive for 4 hours in an unfamiliar place.

If your wedding would be close to the Alberta airport, it may be a numbers game.
Are 30 (or 120) people from one area more likely to travel than the 120 (or 30) from the other? Airlines need to make money but your wedding guests do not want to be their sole support.

So of course I voted for Alberta because I like it there and hate Houston. So much for rational thought.

jacques27 · January 2015

There is no right answer. Only a list of pros and cons for both where only you can assign how much weight should go to each pro and each con. Questions to ask yourself:

1. Who is paying? If they aren't contributing, then their input to location is weighed much less heavily.
2. How important is it that your family in Canada be present for this wedding?
3. What are the costs associated with traveling to TX for your family? (Passports, travel, hotel, etc.) And how do those costs compare for numerous people traveling to TX vs. the two of you traveling to Canada?
4. How important is it to you that you minimize the costs to your family in order for them to attend?

Also, TX may be "home" to you now, but maybe they don't think of it as your home yet. For some, home is where you grew up, no matter where you moved to. For some, home is where your family is. For some, home is a schlocky cliche about where your heart is. For some, home is wherever you're standing at the moment. I have a friend who has lived 2/3rds of his life in my state (and 2/3rd of his life is longer than I've been alive - so we're talking numerous decades here), but he still considers Maine "home" because that's where he grew up and where his siblings still are. Maybe they are having a hard time adjusting to you calling another place "home" and the fact that you don't see what the big deal is.

mrscomposer · January 2015

I'm from Alberta, so my entire side had to travel to Manitoba for our wedding - we had health considerations for my FIL to think of, though, so no one had an issue with it. I did, however, only have ONE of my Albertan cousins there, which was a little sad, but whatever.

I'm basically just echoing what PPs are saying - are there a greater number of people coming from Alberta than would come from Texas? Would it be easier on the Texans to travel? Are your VIPs committed to coming no matter where you get married? Have any of your family been to visit you in Texas yet?

I ask the last one because if this is going to be the first trip down to see you, there could be pros and cons for both sides. It could be a busy time for you, so you might not have time to play tour guide, which some people might be expecting. But, it could be what some people need to finally plan that trip they've been thinking about taking for a while.

My bottom line opinion - I love Alberta. I'm an Albertan girl, through and through. But even if FIL could travel and we could have had the wedding wherever... I still might have had it in Manitoba, because that's where I was living and I didn't want to plan long distance. My parents were okay with it wherever, though. Mom always said she wanted one of her girls to have a destination wedding - it just wasn't the destination she was thinking of (she brought her own mini palm tree).

AuroraRose41 · January 2015

As PP's have said, this is something that you need to make a pro and con list for. As you can see from my location, FI and I live in San Diego, but we only moved here about two years ago from our home state of NY. When we got engaged, we listed out the pro's and con's of having it here in San Diego or having it back in NY. The per person cost would be about the same, but having it in San Diego would be cost prohibitive for most of our family and friends who are not as well off as we are. We also have elderly relatives who can't fly anymore, so it would have prevented all of them from coming too. It would have been much cheaper for us to get married here in SD because of a smaller amount of people who would be able to get here, but we decided that having all of our loved ones there was much more important to us than saving money and getting married in our new city. We do have about 10 people from San Diego who will be invited, but they all have a lot of paid vacation time (we all work at the same company and all have the same benefits) and are either from NY originally as well with family in the area still or mentioned wanting to visit NY with us sometime after hearing us talk about it.

What it really boils down to is how important it is to have your family from Alberta there, and which location would be easier for the majority of your loved ones to attend.

ETA: I didn't vote, as I can't make that decision without knowing more details.

SP29 · January 2015

It's your choice, but I think it is wise to consider your VIPs and family.

DH and I are both from Ontario- all our family is there, as well as a small group of GOOD friends we still keep in touch with. We now live in AB with a group of friends here.

Even though the wedding was OOT for us, we decided to get married in ON because there would be a smaller group travelling to ON than the group that would have to travel to AB. Also, the group in AB are all young, healthy, mostly "free" people who enjoy travel (we did have about half of them decline due to finances/ time), where as a lot of our family members are getting older with health problems and would involve the cost of a whole family flying, vs. 2 adults.

That, and we couldn't afford to get married at Lake Louise anyway

@mrscomposer love the palm tree comment! Cute!

Where should our ceremony be held??

Where should our ceremony be held?? 23 votes

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