Just Engaged and Proposals

elephant in the room

Hey all!! 

My boy and I got engaged July 2014 on a cruise for a friend's wedding.. and it was more of I said "lets look at rings here in Grand Cayman and if we find something…" needless to say we found a gorgeous ring and declared us engaged… I had really wanted him to propose "properly" and ask dad first, but that didn't happen lol

so now Im ready to start planning, but its like the engagement is the elephant in the room and I don't know how to address it.. 

help!!

Re: elephant in the room

  • Does he also consider you to be engaged?  If so, you're engaged - no reason for it to be an issue, just commence with the happy planning! 

    image


    runsonveggies
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'm confused.  So you didn't get the proposal that you envisioned when you were young.  Big deal. What you did get is the commitment and promise of the person you love most in the world to always be by your side no matter what.  Pretty sure that is more important then some movie type proposal.

    chibiyui
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    "We were on a romantic island vacation and spur of the moment he decided to ask me!"

    I mean, that sounds like a pretty fucking fabulous engagement story.
    plainjane0415chibiyuikaitlynmichelleMadHops21
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    "we got engaged on vacation"
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    How is it an elephant, and for whom is it an elephant?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    MollyandDchibiyuilyndausviashley8918
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Hey all!! 

    My boy and I got engaged July 2014 on a cruise for a friend's wedding.. and it was more of I said "lets look at rings here in Grand Cayman and if we find something…" needless to say we found a gorgeous ring and declared us engaged… I had really wanted him to propose "properly" and ask dad first, but that didn't happen lol

    so now Im ready to start planning, but its like the engagement is the elephant in the room and I don't know how to address it.. 

    help!!
    Color me confused.  What elephant?  Have you not told your dad yet?  Just tell him.  "We got engaged on vacation, yay!"
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    chibiyui
  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2015
    Hey all!! 

    My boy and I got engaged July 2014 on a cruise for a friend's wedding.. and it was more of I said "lets look at rings here in Grand Cayman and if we find something…" needless to say we found a gorgeous ring and declared us engaged… I had really wanted him to propose "properly" and ask dad first, but that didn't happen lol

    so now Im ready to start planning, but its like the engagement is the elephant in the room and I don't know how to address it.. 

    help!!



    ****************************


    Did you both decide you're engaged? If so, you're engaged! Congrats! 

    Something it will be really beneficial to keep in mind as you plan your wedding is that not everything is like the movies. Not everything has to be this over-the-top spectacle. My FI had this big romantic proposal planned for a day we went hiking, but the circumstances just weren't right. He ended up proposing in bed three days later before he left for work, while I was half awake and telling him about my weird dreams. Was it the big thing he planned? Nope. Was it perfect? Yeah -- we're engaged! 

    If the most important part of your proposal is not the fact that you get to marry the love of your life, you seriously need to reevaluate some things. 
    strawberrybee9
  • allison09allison09 Newfoundland, Canada member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments
    We got engaged at the end of November with him on one knee in front of our Christmas tree. It wasn't the most spectacular way to do it, but like esstee said, that's not the most important part!
    Enjoy the engagement! If you feel like the elephant is still here, have a chat with your dad and express your feelings and concerns to him. I'm sure he's more than excited for you. If it makes you feel better, have your fiancé talk with him. He can still tell your dad how he feels about you and how much he loves you.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You got engaged on vacation and picked out a ring in an exciting destination., but it wasn't exactly how you imagined even though all of the outcomes are the same? First.World.Problems!

    My friend's Grandfather wanted to propose to her Gran and was saving up for a ring. WW2 broke out, he was in the Army, long story short he was getting deployed. He was based across the country and wanted to see her one last time before he left so he used his ring savings jar for a ticket and managed to get 12 hours leave to take the train up to the end of the line in Scotland to see her, proposed with a tank lug nut on the platform and then had to take that same train back down to the south or England 15 minutes later. She wore the lug nut on a chain around her neck for the rest of her life. She never had a ring but had the happiest of marriages. He never got down on one knee, never asked her father.

    Why are you letting something SO petty get in the way of your marriage? Get off pinterest and realise you met the love of your life! I mean seriously, OP, people kill for that. I'm baffled at why you would complain over something so silly in the grand scheme of things. This is very much in the realm of being upset when your new gift of a Bentley didn't come with one of those obnoxious giant red bows on it, and now you want it re-given to you in the "show" fashion you imagined.  Everyone has those moments where their friends need to say: 'You are being ridiculous!'. This is one of them. 
    Maggie0829strawberrybee9yogadevil
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Hey all!! 

    My boy and I got engaged July 2014 on a cruise for a friend's wedding.. and it was more of I said "lets look at rings here in Grand Cayman and if we find something…" needless to say we found a gorgeous ring and declared us engaged… I had really wanted him to propose "properly" and ask dad first, but that didn't happen lol

    so now Im ready to start planning, but its like the engagement is the elephant in the room and I don't know how to address it.. 

    help!!
    Stop feeding the elephant in the room. I can, with near 99% certainty, nobody is saying "Man, he didn't get on one knee, bring in a string quartet and I heard he didn't even ASK HER DAD beforehand!!" 

    Nobody cares. You're engaged. Move on and stop making things difficult. I hope you've been able to enjoy being engaged and you haven't been fixated on this.

    image
  • A word of advice before expo.
    You might want to open an email account separate from your current one to use for having folks from the industry contact you with their stuff that is mostly ads.

    At every Expo there is something you can sign up for to get a few gift certificates, coupons that are useful, some kid of drawing for a prize. Stuff we all want.
    Immediately after you will start getting amazing amounts of email. Some for suppliers of invitations, honeymoon locations, stores with registries. At the peak after one big one and a regional one I was getting 50 to 80 contacts every few days. Some turned out to be useful. But sorting through takes time.
    I was so glad Someone advised me to open a disposable yahoo account. Because the one I use for business contacts has my name in it, and another is for social stuff. And nothing got buried in the wedding stuff.

    After a while when we knew pretty much what we wanted, we opened another yahoo, put any links we wanted- names of designers carried by local dress stores, links to the registries we would use. Then deleted the stuff in the old account and closed it. No more spam.

    The new clean account was where I stored links in messages to myself, had the vendors I was using tell me when something came in. Everything organized, no junk to wade through.

    So I am passing on the piece of advice someone gave me, that I was grateful for every day I clicked into email.
    strawberrybee9
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