Just Engaged and Proposals

Long distance wedding planning

Hi all! I am newly engaged for a few weeks now and the preliminary planning has already begun. I am engaged to my long term and even longer distance FI. We are both from NJ but I am currently in Fl. He is trying to move  down here so that we could be together. However we have decided to have the wedding in our home state as that is where the majority of our families are. We have the venue and the bridal parties almost all set. We are racking our brains on how to work out having all the Pre-wedding events (bridal shower, bachelor party, bachelorette party etc.). Both of our sides are mainly in NJ and we want to work out as many things as possible without having to spend alot of money flying back and forth and missing out on any work. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to work out these long distance plans without missing out and breaking our pockets?

Re: Long distance wedding planning

  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hi all! I am newly engaged for a few weeks now and the preliminary planning has already begun. I am engaged to my long term and even longer distance FI. We are both from NJ but I am currently in Fl. He is trying to move  down here so that we could be together. However we have decided to have the wedding in our home state as that is where the majority of our families are. We have the venue and the bridal parties almost all set. We are racking our brains on how to work out having all the Pre-wedding events (bridal shower, bachelor party, bachelorette party etc.). Both of our sides are mainly in NJ and we want to work out as many things as possible without having to spend alot of money flying back and forth and missing out on any work. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to work out these long distance plans without missing out and breaking our pockets?

    Has anyone offered to throw you a bach party or a bridal shower yet? Because that is the first step.

    As for planning, I would rely heavily on venor reviews And when you do fly home, try to do a effecient with your time as possible. If a vendor is out of your price point, dont waste your time goign to speak with them. If they have bad reviews, skip them. Get all your potential conract ahead of time, so you can ask pointed questions.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I can relate. I'm in Tennessee. My FI is in Mississippi. The wedding is in Louisiana. 

    As PP said, time management is the key. I went home (LA) for Thanksgiving and had 6 vendor appointments that week. I knocked all the big stuff out. Everything else is manageable from a distance. Vendors are easily accessible through email or phone calls. 

    As far as pre-wedding events go, I'm no help there. We have declined offers for parties or showers due to the distance. Everyone is so spread out that it is easier and we'd rather have everyone at the wedding than struggling to attend multiple events. 

    Decide what's most important to you and prioritize from there. Good luck! 
    image
  • Hi - I'm new to these boards, and in a similar long distance situation from our venue and temporarily from my FI. I'm American and living in Singapore, and his family is mostly in the UK. We're looking at California venues as this is where my friends and family are, and we weren't interested in UK weddings. May as well limit the guest travel if we can. It's hard planning far away from girlfriends and my mom, to be honest, as I think their experience and input would be awesome. Skype and emails aren't quite the same.

    To simplify things, we aren't looking at any pre-parties or showers. This lets us focus on the main event, which is exciting enough! I'm trying to use venue reviews to weed out the bad ones from the list. It is a bit weird not seeing places in person and getting a real feel for who we might work with along the way. Asking friends lots of questions - not even just ones who have gotten married but those who attend a lot of weddings.

  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    My FI and I are planning our wedding back in our home town which is an 8 hour drive or a really expensive plane ride. Our wedding party is scattered across canada and the US.

    We've politely declined any offers of pre-wedding parties. It doesn't make sense for us to travel for a party and we don't want any of the wedding party to feel obligated to attend, or have to miss out because they are far away. We want our wedding party to have as few out of pocket costs as possible.

    You don't need to have any pre-wedding parties. And you can't plan any of them yourselves, so if someone offers, you either make it work or politely decline. I think most people would understand the difficulty with distance.
    image
  • I have never understood when I read posts on the knot that so many brides want to get involved in parties people want to give in their honor.
    Our planning took place at a time of finishing school while having started post grad jobs. It was a relief that all the bride need do for such parties is give dates they may be available in the last couple of months, and for the showers, list some of the women coming to the wedding who are especially close to you. And someone else does all the planning.

    Good luck planning. The fact that you have figured out the importance of time management puts you ahead of a lot of people, less likely to be overwhelmed.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    We lived a plane ride away from family and a lot of friends and where the wedding was located.    My sister (MOH) OFFERED to throw me a shower.   I flew up to her (and where most of the guests lived).

    I didn't have a b-party.   DH had a mini-b-party 2 nights before our wedding in the same area as our wedding.  That is when his friends OFFERED to throw one.

    Noticed I said she offered.  Meaning I didn't think of the logistics until someone asked to throw me one.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle British Columbia member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    I relied on reviews online and contacted all vendors over the phone or via email. I didn't meet anyone or do visits in person until the day before the wedding to finalize some details.

    Someone needs to offer you these parties. You can't host or plan them yourselves. We didn't have the big parties because of the logistics of travel. Our bach parties were H going camping with his brothers, and I watched Bridesmaids and drank wine with BILs girlfriends.
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
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