Plus Ones?

APDSS22 · July 2012

I'm working on the budget for the wedding and I just saw something about plus ones. Can I get more info on etiquette for plus ones? Who is considered a plus and who is their own invite? Thanks!

egm900 · July 2012

A true plus one is a single person that you are allowing to bring a guest. People in relationships aren't a plus one situation, their significant other should be invited with them, regardless of the length of the relationship, whether you have met them, etc. Plus ones aren't necessary, significant others are.

monkeysip · July 2012

Everyone who is in a relationship gets invited with their significant other--invited by name.

So Joe Smith and Jane Doe.

If Joe Smith isn't in a relationship with anyone, then you have the OPTION of giving him a plus 1, which means he can invite any guest he wants. But you don't have to.

It is nice to give plus ones to people who are out of town, to bridesmaids/groomsmen, and to guests if you're having a destination wedding.

TheSlowskys · July 2012

I agree w pp, but re:monkeys advice regarding allowing plus ones to only certain people, it can be hard to know where to draw the line and end up w po'd guests who may not know why one person got a plus one and others didn't. If you can give everyone a plus one that's best.

monkeysip · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-ones-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eee756f-82e8-4162-8a04-be9e8a020780Post:705d7c7c-f9e4-4f2f-9f37-0fb175f55b70">Re: Plus Ones?</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree w pp, but re:monkeys advice regarding allowing plus ones to only certain people, it can be hard to know where to draw the line and end up w po'd guests who may not know why one person got a plus one and others didn't. If you can give everyone a plus one that's best.
Posted by TheSlowskys[/QUOTE]

Sure, it might irritate some, but if you have a clear standard (all wedding party, all out of towners, etc.) then it's not poor etiquette. I would add that it would be unwise to give plus ones to every single guest but a few people. That's just asking for trouble.

TheSlowskys · July 2012

Monkey not disagreeing. At least for our guest list if we did it by wp and ooo we would have 4 allowed a plus one and 2 who weren't. At that point why even make the distinction. Ya know? I just see a lot of posts on here of people with good intentions giving some a plus one and others not based on reasonable distinctions and then having issues.

Lisa50 · July 2012

We did not send any "plus one" invitations. Ours was a very intimate ceremony and reception; we did not want any strangers there.

HockeyFan4 · July 2012

Everyone here has already pointed out who is a plus one and who is not.

I just wanted to touch on the budgeting for more in case someone ends up in a relationship. Depending on how far out from your wedding you are, a lot of single people may end up in a relationship.

We extended all of our single friends a plus one, only one ended up bringing a guest.

Tami87 · July 2012

I just wanted to echo previous posters that even if someone doesn't currently have a significant other, they may by the time invitations go out depending on how far out you are. You should leave some wiggle room for this.

We budgeted for everyone over 18 to have a guest or SO come with them (but it is completely fine to just invite those with a SO). The vast majority of the people invited with an "and guest" chose not to bring anyone. It probably helped that it was not a local wedding for half the guest list. It worked out very well for us because when we ended up with way less people (125) than originally budgeted for (170), we were able to upgrade the bar and still save money. I much rather plan on spending more and be pleasantly surprised than be stressed if a bunch of your guest list now have SOs that you didn't plan on and you have to find a way to include them.

aragx6 · July 2012

We drew the line for plus ones at the wedding party -- though I actually don't think any of the single members of the WP are going to bring a date anyway. We also made one other exception -- a friend of ours from OOT who will know literally no one but us. But even he said he'd rather come alone and meet new people.

TheSlowskys · July 2012

I didn't mean among strangers, but within a circle of friends or acquaintences and I've seen it happen a couple times. If I was invited alone I never would start investigating who got a plus one, but as the knot proves time and again, weddings bring out the crazy in a lot of people.

APDSS22 · July 2012

Thanks to all ya'll for the clarification! I had already planned on including SO's so I had just a little confusion about the difference

mmmendi · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-ones-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eee756f-82e8-4162-8a04-be9e8a020780Post:104c173d-7233-444c-8206-537ff9305144">Re: Plus Ones?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks to all ya'll for the clarification! I had already planned on including SO's so I had just a little confusion about the difference :)
Posted by TheFutureMrsRohlman22[/QUOTE]

<em><font color="#3366ff">I'm glad you asked! I had the idea, but the post that clearly spelled it out (no "and", as it implies they are married) really helped me!</font></em>

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