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Wedding Etiquette Forum
afaber24
member
For Lurkers: Buffet Style Dinner....plan accordingly (XP)
I was a BM in my good friends AHR this past weekend and everything was very nice, but I wanted to drop some knowledge here for lurkers.
Regarding the dinner buffet:
The bride had about 300 people at her AHR, but only 1 buffet. The caterers were serving the food, so only one side of the buffet was open. The bridal party got there around 6:30. Head table was released to buffet just before 7pm. My DH was the 3rd to last table to be released and didn't get to go up to the buffet until 8pm! Not cool! I also felt EXTREMELY uncomfortable eating at the head table while all the tables around me had no food. I felt like everyone was staring at me with hungry eyes.
Moral of the story: if you have more than maybe 150 people (maybe more than 100) you really need to have at least 2 buffets. Ideally 2 buffets with both sides open. The food was delish and there was plenty of it, but it was awkward when I was finished eating and finished my dessert and DH still hadn't eaten.
I know some things can't be helped and obviously when you have a big reception not everyone can eat at the same time, but I think within 10-15 minutes of each other is acceptable. 1 hour later is not acceptable.
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Re: For Lurkers: Buffet Style Dinner....plan accordingly (XP)
I'm sorry, you were a bridesmaid for a AHR? No.
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1st, you were a BM in an AHR? Huh?
2nd, how did the venue not know how to properly serve 300 ppl?
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
That's poor planning, to be sure. But lurkers be aware that 1. BMs are witnesses to the wedding ceremony. It's not appropriate to have BMs for an AHR. 2 It's rude to separate anyone, including your wedding party, from their dates.
@afaber24 Did your friend actually expect you to buy bm dresses? Did she provide you with bouquets, attendants gifts and have a wp dance? Those things should only happen at an actual wedding and reception. If the couple wants to dress the part of bride and groom and have a wedding cake, fine, but they shouldn't expect anyone else to spend money on wedding related stuff.
The last wedding I went to had a terrible buffet situation too. 175 people and only equipped to handle maybe 50. There was only one buffet line and although dinner started at seven, at nine people were still waiting in line to eat. It was awful. They ran out of food halfway through and had to make more. We were passing out dessert when some people hadn't even gotten their dinner.
Agreed, lousy planning.
However, I know the two inns I worked at, as well as some independent caterers, all discussed levels of service when they talked about costs and contract.
One serving line takes so many staff. This price.
Two serving lines takes so many more staff. Higher price.
Head table meals preplated, so first group of people do not have to wait for them. No extra cost.
And time and time again, people would say, oh no, do not preplate the WP food. No one will mind waiting for them.
And only one line, because they do not want to pay more for more serving staff.
Not bad planning by the venue, usually. Bad planning by the people paying the bill, and the hosts who are so sure no one minds waiting around to eat until WP went through the buffet first.
People don' mind 20 minutes, but hate waiting an hour.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Thanks for posting this. I was so confused what that had to do with anything. Now I get the train of thought.