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VERY pregnant bridesmaid!!! HELP

MaRea0425MaRea0425 member
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in Wedding Party
Ok so I have a dilemma...my bff and bridesmaid just informed me that she is 9 weeks pregnant and due the day after my wedding!!! I love her and want her to be a part of my big day as I was in her wedding party. She said she still wants to be a bridesmaid. I only have 1 moh abd 2 bridesmaids. What if she goes early?! Stressed...am I overreacting??
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Re: VERY pregnant bridesmaid!!! HELP

  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    MaRea0425 said:
    Ok so I have a dilemma...my bff and bridesmaid just informed me that she is 9 weeks pregnant and due the day after my wedding!!! I love her and want her to be a part of my big day as I was in her wedding party. She said she still wants to be a bridesmaid. I only have 1 moh abd 2 bridesmaids. What if she goes early?! Stressed...am I overreacting??
    Yes, you are over-reacting. She could have the baby before your wedding, after your wedding, or any time in between. There's nothing you can do about it and no one really has control over it. All bridesmaids have to do is show up on time and sober in the agreed upon attire. Pregnant women are perfectly capable of doing that. If your friend does not make it to your wedding, your remaining bridesmaids can certainly handle standing up next to you by themselves.

    If she is able to be there for your wedding, it would be nice if you had a chair for her to sit in in case standing for too long is uncomfortable. If she is unable to make it, she is unable to make it. There is nothing you can or should do other than congratulate her on the birth of her child. 
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • MaRea0425MaRea0425 member
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    Should I offer to help pay for her dress? I'd feel so awful if she didn't the money and didn't get to wear it.
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
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    Did she purchase a dress already? If not, many designers have maternity lines so she would be able to pick one of those dresses. Another option is to just give the BMs length/fabric/color guidelines and let them pick whatever dress they want that fits those parameters. This may be the easiest option allowing your pregnant friend to wait longer to purchase a dress so she'll have a better idea of what size she'd need.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • MaRea0425MaRea0425 member
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    She's going to come with us to pick out dresses. They can all west different dresses as long as they are the same material. I'm thinking loose fabric around the belly. She'll probably order hers around June or July (wedding is late August). I'm so very happy for her! Just would feel bad if she spent all that money and wasn't able to attend.
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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    MaRea0425 said:
    Should I offer to help pay for her dress? I'd feel so awful if she didn't the money and didn't get to wear it.
    You don't have to, but I think it's very kind to think of it. Your choice. 
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    MaRea0425 said:

    Ok so I have a dilemma...my bff and bridesmaid just informed me that she is 9 weeks pregnant and due the day after my wedding!!! I love her and want her to be a part of my big day as I was in her wedding party. She said she still wants to be a bridesmaid. I only have 1 moh abd 2 bridesmaids. What if she goes early?! Stressed...am I overreacting??


    You are overreacting. If your friend is unable to be in your WP due to her pregnancy, no big deal.

    My suggestion is to make it easy on everyone and just give your BM'S a color or set of colors and a dress length and let them choose any dress that fits those criteria. That will give your pregnant friend the freedom to pick her dress right before the wedding the ensure it fits and she's comfortable.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2015
    My BFF was 8 months pregnant at our wedding.  She was OOT (well everyone was) and high risk.

     When we found out I just told her to find a dress in the same color as the other BMs.  I never even saw the dress until the wedding day. I was OOT, so that was part of the reason, but honestly I didn't care.   She found a dress from the same designer.  Her choice.  I just said color.  (shoes and everything else I let the girls pick what they wanted to wear)

    I told her to make a "game time decision".  She could walk down the aisle or not.  Stand with the others or  sit in the front row with my parents.     The only thing I cared about was her comfort.  If walking down the aisle she felt the need to sit, then just sit.   Her walking or not, siting or not wasn't going to affect the wedding.

    If she was unable to attend then I would have sent her bouquet and gift to her.

    In the end she did come, in a dress that she was comfortable in, walked down the aisle, stood with the others and did a reading.    These were all her choices.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    What if one of your BMs comes down with the flu the day of your wedding or God forbid a close relative of theirs passes and the funeral is that day? A lot of things can happen that can prevent someone from being able to make your wedding. What you do is nothing. You just go on with the day as planned. So stressing over whether or not she will be there is pointless.

    If you would like to pay for her dress that is up to you. It is a nice gesture but not necessary.

    If your friend does make your wedding please make sure she has a place to sit during the ceremony. A woman who is just days away from giving birth does not need to be standing for 20 or so minutes. And really no one needs to be standing for that long.

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  • brettnabibrettnabi member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I'm in a very similar situation.  I could not be more happy, my bridesmaids are my best friends, I've known them all for 12+ years.  I think my biggest concern (even though its completely out of my control) is if she goes in to labor the night before (or god forbid the day of!) I want to be there for her special time, its the first baby of our group! but at the same token My fiance and I have spent the last 2 years planning and saving for our wedding.  I'd never ask her not to be there and I don't even care if she shows up in sweatpants, I'd just be sad if we missed  each others big moments. 
    Some people have a good point, what will be will be, but I don't think being concerned or preoccupied with it is understandable.  Is it worth the stress? Not really cause there's nothing you can do.  Are ya gunna stress anyway? Yeah, cause it's a totally natural reaction.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2015
    OK, I have to post this!  I've been giggling every time I see your post.  The opening title is cut off to read "Very Pregnant Brides".  And I just finished watching the "Funny Girl" sequence on TCM with "The Most Beautiful Bride".
    The other posters have your advice covered.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • redoryxredoryx member
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    CMGragain said:
    OK, I have to post this!  I've been giggling every time I see your post.  The opening title is cut off to read "Very Pregnant Brides".  And I just finished watching the "Funny Girl" sequence on TCM with "The Most Beautiful Bride".
    The other posters have your advice covered.

    Off topic but I absolutely LOVE that scene in the movie :) 
    image
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
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    brettnabi said:
    I'm in a very similar situation.  I could not be more happy, my bridesmaids are my best friends, I've known them all for 12+ years.  I think my biggest concern (even though its completely out of my control) is if she goes in to labor the night before (or god forbid the day of!) I want to be there for her special time, its the first baby of our group! but at the same token My fiance and I have spent the last 2 years planning and saving for our wedding.  I'd never ask her not to be there and I don't even care if she shows up in sweatpants, I'd just be sad if we missed  each others big moments. 
    Some people have a good point, what will be will be, but I don't think being concerned or preoccupied with it is understandable.  Is it worth the stress? Not really cause there's nothing you can do.  Are ya gunna stress anyway? Yeah, cause it's a totally natural reaction.
    You have the right attitude about your BM.  But remember, you will most likely not be in the delivery room for your BM, so there isn't really anything to miss.  Even if your friend has a long labor, typically you don't visit during labor.  You wait until after the baby is born.  So even if your BFF goes into labor the day of your wedding, you just go to visit the next day!  You can even bring her bouquet for her then.
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  • Knottie75905291Knottie75905291 member
    First Comment
    I'm in the same EXACT situation.

    As some others have said, my advice would be not to stress out about it. Will that keep you from stressing out? Probably not. Honestly, you've both got some high-stress, inflexible life events coming up and the best thing you can do to manage the relationship between the two events is to remember how happy you will both be, for each other.

    However, as with your situation I'm sure, I'd be more than a little bummed if we missed each other's big life events, only because we have been good friends for so long. She is already removing herself from my bachelorette trip because we will be going to Vegas in July.

    That being said, I just had a baby in Dec of 2013, and so the memories of how hard it was to be super pregnant are still very fresh. I am trying my best to be understanding. My Paigey was a week late, so it's very possible your BM will be able to attend but she probably won't be very comfortable. Check in with her every so often just to see how she's doing, and keep the wedding talk to a minimum. She'll remember your kindness even through the stresses of wedding planning.

    Good luck! And congrats to the both of you!


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  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    My friend was 8 1/2 months pregnant as a BM in another girlfriend's wedding. The dress shop waited until a couple of weeks before the wedding for final alterations. They also got her sparkly flip-flops to wear if her feet got sore and a stool to sit during the ceremony (It was Greek Orthodox outside). Try and be accommodating and realize that babies can't tell time and they are rarely born on their actual due date.
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