Invitation Arrangement and Wording

CMGragain · January 2015

JenColorado said:

I can't wrap my head around how to create our invitations. I've tried reading through other message boards and can't find anyone with a similar situation. Any advice is greatly appreciated!

We live in Colorado and are getting married on a dude ranch about an hour away. Our guest list includes a lot of out of town family and friends (we are not native Coloradans). It's like having a destination wedding. The wedding and its events are 3 days, all inclusive. There are many local friends that may want to come, but maybe not for all 3 days. People can come just day of for the ceremony and reception. The accommodations are limited. It may not accommodate everyone that wants to stay all 3 days. It will have to be first come first served (apart from immediate family and known attendees). I need to somehow separate the wording to offer 2 choices (1) join us for a 3 day dude ranch destination wedding or (2) join us for the ceremony and reception. How can I arrange this?

I'm skipping save the dates (even if you disagree) because I need to get the information out to guests out of state asap and think the save the dates are a waste of time at this point - 7 months away.

Thank you very much.

You get one day for your wedding, not three. You invite people for your wedding and your reception. You may include hotel information, or not. This is NOT a destination wedding because it is only one hour away from your home..
Your invitation should be wording just like any wedding invitation. The wording varies depending on who is hosting the event. Destination wedding invitations are no different from any other invitation.
You may include information on your wedding website about available activities and hotel accommodations, but you cannot require your guests to stay at the ranch unless you are paying for it. Many guests may prefer to stay an hour away and save the money and time. Personally, I would not want to spend an entire three days celebrating your wedding.
What activities were you planning? A brunch the next day would be OK (provided you are paying for it), but more than that is presumptuous.

unk12345 · January 2015

I was trying to delete my post after reading your response but unfortunately could not. I'm thankful you would not want to spend an entire three days celebrating my wedding as I would not want someone with your negativity there. Everyone we have talked to does. And yes, we are hosting most of it. I'm not presumptuous.

ShesSoCold · January 2015

You can't delete posts here. And since you were quoted (thanks CMGr), everyone can see what you wrote. I can't think of a good way to say "some people can stay all weekend and some can't". How many people can stay all weekend? Could you make that available to your bridal party and immediate family and invite everyone else to the wedding only? It would be quite rude to invite everyone to stay, then tell some people "oh nevermind" when more RSVP than you anticipated.

fwtx5815 · January 2015

You have plenty of time to make the invitations. They shouldn't be mailed out more than 8 weeks in advance of your wedding. If you're opposed to paper STDates, sending an email would be fine, but invitations absolutely should not be sent out any time soon.

Next, you do not need different invitations for different people. Create invites that do not mention lodging. I recommend inviting people to book onsite lodging in rounds by word of mouth/email (offer to immediate family and wedding party, if they don't fill up then extended family, if they don't fill up then less-close family and friends). To include the 3-day offer as part of the invitations WOULD be presumptuous, even if that's not what you want to hear. People would revive it and wonder if they'd be seen as grumpy and unsociable if they didn't book the 3 day stay. It's burdensome. Like CMG said, you get 1 day. The info about the other 2 days could be put on your website, but people shouldn't have to commit to three full days of activities based on how long they stay. They may want to do their own thing.

CMGragain · January 2015

unk12345 said:

I was trying to delete my post after reading your response but unfortunately could not. I'm thankful you would not want to spend an entire three days celebrating my wedding as I would not want someone with your negativity there. Everyone we have talked to does. And yes, we are hosting most of it. I'm not presumptuous.

You are presuming that people will give up three days of their time for an event that should only be one day. Unless you are paying for accommodations for all three days, you cannot invite people to this. It is just like being married on a cruise ship. If your ceremony will be while the ship is at sea, you must be willing to pay for your guests' cruise. You cannot ask your guests to pay to attend your wedding.

Destination weddings have the same invitations as any other wedding. You invite guests for the day for your ceremony. It is up to your guests to decide how long they will stay at your location. Destination weddings are frowned upon by many people because they are expensive for guests to attend. You can include the OPTION for your guests to stay longer than one day, but, unless you will be paying for their stay, you cannot include this requirement in your invitation.

If you can't find the right wording for your wedding invitation, then it is probable that there is something wrong with your plans.

Invitation Arrangement and Wording

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