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Jr Bridesmaid - thank you

bluedaisies18bluedaisies18 member
Third Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
edited February 2015 in Not Engaged Yet
I appreciate everyone's feedback. 
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Re: Jr Bridesmaid - thank you

  • amsteckeramstecker member
    First Comment
    You can definitely have her as a "junior bridesmaid". Stores often make smalle replicas of bridesmaid dresses for just this reason. You could have her brother as a ring bearer, or a "junior groomsman" to help him to fit in with the grown ups :)
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  • bluedaisies18bluedaisies18 member
    Third Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    I am totally willing to do that and pay for both of them as such - have other people experienced this?  I have my nephew as the ring bearer - my whole issue is everyone who is important to the wedding is not really blood related - have you or anyone experienced this?
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  • buddysmom80buddysmom80 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    meg4117 said:

    I am totally willing to do that and pay for both of them as such - have other people experienced this?  I have my nephew as the ring bearer - my whole issue is everyone who is important to the wedding is not really blood related - have you or anyone experienced this?

    You don't have to have blood relatives in your wedding. The only blood relatives I had at my wedding were my parents.....

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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    1) You don't need to be thinking about this at all because you aren't engaged.

    2) Why the fuck are you making this so complicated? Ask them to be your bridesmaid/bridesman (do not ask this young man to stand up with your BF, it's silly to divide wedding parties by gender. He is close to you, he should stand on your side). Lose the junior title it's completely unnecessary. I assume they are capable of walking in a straight line and then standing for about 20-30 minutes, yes? Okay, then have them do that with the rest of the wedding party.

    Also, lots of people include friends instead of family in their weddings. It's not unusual at all. Don't over think it.


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  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    yeah. Like PP said, just have them as your bridesmaid/ bridesman/ groomsman (when you get engaged.) No big deal, at all. I'm confused why this was a question to begin with?? You ask who you're close to to stand up there with you. No other requirements. 
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    You're not engaged, so my suggestion is to wait until you are engaged and then come back and ask that question.

    I'm actually being completely serious. One of the major things I learned from planning a wedding and getting married was that pre-planning was almost COMPLETELY worthless. I really mean that. There was absolutely nothing that went into our wedding--the guest list, the vendors, the attire, the details--that required any planning before the engagement.

    And another thing I learned? There is zero reason to pick the bridal party until much closer to the wedding. I would have saved myself a TON of trouble if I had done that.

    So, take a deep breath and find something else to do with your time right now. Panicking over something that's not an issue is really not worthwhile.
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  • labrolabro member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Aside from the fact that you aren't engaged and don't need to worry about this.....

    Just wait until you are engaged. I don't think I can say that enough.

    1. You aren't required to have only blood relatives in your wedding party. I've never heard of anyone who does this to be honest. My wedding party was a mix of my sisters, SILs, and friends and H's wedding party was all friends.

    2. Don't call her a Jr. Bridesmaid. Just call her a bridesmaid. I don't understand why people feel the need to make a distinction. Either she is or she isn't. I think it would show an even higher level of respect and love for this girl if you just give her the full title of bridesmaid.

    3. Like others said, you really should wait to officially ask your bridal party until you're closer to getting engaged. There's nothing wrong with having an idea of who'd you like to ask, but don't do the asking until you're engaged and no more than 10 months out from the wedding. Relationships change, you don't want to get stuck with someone in the bridal party that you are no longer closer to. 



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  • ChemFanatic25ChemFanatic25 member
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    buddysmom80 said:
    I spent about 3 years of my life as an in-between in my career where I nannied for a family that when all was said and done we are close as family.  I started when they were 3 and 4, and left when they were 6 and 7.  It has been about four years since I finished caring daily for the kids, but I am still extremely close with the family.  Since the girl was young she was always drawing her bridesmaid dress for my wedding, and on my most recent trip "home" she asked if she would be included in our wedding.

    My boyfriend and I do not want to have children, it is non-negotiable he does understand how much the children I nannied for mean to me, and my desire to include them in our wedding.  Yes, I do not have a diamond on my finger but he has assured me we are getting engaged this year, and I know how much the knotters hate this.

    My question comes from this.... How do I include a now 10 year old, who if we are lucky and get 2016 wedding date, will be 11, and realistically 2017 when shes 12 - how do I include her in the wedding?  She is the daughter I will never have... How do I include her and her brother in the wedding -her mother is 100% on board - I just do not know how to include them.  Her mom constantly says you will be "Meg's Bridesmaid" and perpetuates it even though I am 32.
    You really shouldn't be thinking about this. Get a hobby, learn how to make excellent guacamole and when you and your BF agree you're engaged or if you believe you're not engaged until you have a ring, then don't worry about it. FFS, the BSC is coming out.....
    I'm having an issue with them not even being engaged and yet this mother is telling her daughter how she will be a BM for OP. That seems over the line for me.
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  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
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    edited February 2015
    ChemFanatic25 said:

    I'm having an issue with them not even being engaged and yet this mother is telling her daughter how she will be a BM for OP. That seems over the line for me.
    It is over the line, but if the OP is talking about her wedding all the time, and acting like she IS engaged...

    But even if the OP WAS engaged, the mom shouldn't be saying things like that. Puts pressure on the bride, and expectations that could be let down on the girl's end. But since the OP DOES seem to want the girl to be a bridesmaid, then at least no harm done.

    ETA: I know what that pressure is like. It's awful, and then something happens where you aren't picking the friend that thought was going to get picked and ughhhhh.
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