Wedding Etiquette Forum

how would you word this? (and how would you share the info?)

edited January 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Our venue has requested that guests not wear pumps because the venue has very old wooden floors. We'll also be spending some time outside (weather permitting), so pumps are not the ideal choice for grass and stone pathways. Obviously, there are lots of other choices (wedges, sandals, flats, etc.), but I don't want to sound bossy or like we are trying to dictate attire.

My questions are:

1.) How should we word this?

2.) How should we get the word out? Is this appropriate on the "information for guests" insert in the invitation envelope, or should this be word-of-mouth or website-only?

Thanks in advance!

Re: how would you word this? (and how would you share the info?)

  • I wouldn't have a wedding here because I think it's rude to dictate what shoes your guests wear. But if you must I agree with the above wording. I'd also go a step above a basket of flip flops and include some flats in there and pick ones that look festive.
  • There are also those emergengy flats in a metallic bag that are for your purse throw some of those in with the flip flops.
  • What type of venue is this (restaurant, historic mansion?) It seems strange for a wedding venue to stipulate they don't want high heels worn. I don't even wear high heels, and I think it's too restrictive, and wouldn't have my wedding there.
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  • Because this is a rule of the venue, I would mention that:  "The rules of the venue prohibit high heels and pumps on its floors."  That way it doesn't come across as you trying to tell them what to wear.
  • What type of venue is this (restaurant, historic mansion?) It seems strange for a wedding venue to stipulate they don't want high heels worn. I don't even wear high heels, and I think it's too restrictive, and wouldn't have my wedding there.
    Yes, it's a historic mansion. I had actually attended a wedding there in the past, and remembered the brides warning us about the shoe thing. As a guest, honestly, I was thrilled I wouldn't be obligated to wear uncomfortable shoes all day. It wasn't until after we'd booked our own wedding that I was like... "Wait, what are we supposed to tell people?"
  • CMGragain said:

    Information for guests: "The venue requires that no high heeled shoes be worn, due to the historic flooring."  You may also include this on your wedding website.

    This is quite reasonable, to prevent damage. Since the outdoor space is safer with this restriction, even better.
    The wearing of high heels is not a right, and this is not arbitrarily dictating dress but doing so for safety and for venue restrictions. It is like asking for ID for drinking, a restriction on those underage, an annoyance to some carded, but socially accepted.
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