Bachelorette Party Clarification

Re: Bachelorette Party Clarification

• IrishPirate60 member

  

  February 2015

  Did you ask the other bridesmaids about these plans before you made them? Did you ask their budgets?

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• SachaBee member

  

  February 2015

  There are no other bridesmaids. There is me and my little sister who is 19 so I'm not expecting anything from her. My sister's friend offered to help, which I am grateful for but don't want to add to her burden since I am driving to the wedding and she has to fly in. 

  Everyone else attending is just a friend of my older sister. I'm not asking or expecting or wanting them to chip in as to costs of the car etc, just wondering if I'm expected to pay for their drinks. They would be invited to join in the fun and they could say no if they don't want to. No one is obligated to attend. I just can't afford to pay for 10 people's tastings.

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  February 2015

  It's pretty common for all attendees at bachelorette parties to pay for themselves. Just make sure everyone has all the details and cost associated with going ahead of time, so they can make an informed decision about attending.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• SachaBee member

  

  February 2015

  Thank you, huskypuppy. That's a good thing to keep in mind. Do you think sending them the websites of the possible wineries w/tasting fees outlined on the website is a good enough notice? Although I am hoping to negotiate group rates ...  

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  February 2015 edited February 2015

  SachaBee said:

  Thank you, huskypuppy. That's a good thing to keep in mind. Do you think sending them the websites of the possible wineries w/tasting fees outlined on the website is a good enough notice? Although I am hoping to negotiate group rates ...  

  I would try to narrow down a few places you'd like to go, and make firm plans. If you just send the websites, some might have a 10 dollar tasting fee, and others might have a 20 dollar tasting fee. And they won't know how many you plan to go to. It's best to have a firm number, like it will cost 100 dollars (or whatever) to attend.

  
  

  I've never planned a bachelorette, only attended, so I only know what other hosts have done, and I've always been given a it's X dollars per person. 

  
  

  When it comes to dinner and drinks though, that's usually on their own and you can say that. People don't have to buy drinks when you go out, and they can order a less expensive entree when having dinner if money is tight. Tasting fees are different, because you can't get in without paying.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• WhatawagSBNy member

  

  February 2015

  SachaBee said:

  Hi, 
  I just want to make sure it's okay to have attendees pay for some things at the bachelorette. I'm the Maid of Honour (co-MOH technically but my little sister is under 21) and on a limited budget. I do have a co-host but she is flying in for the wedding so I REALLY don't want to add to her financial output. My mom knows a driver in the area who is willing to give us an awesome discount on a limo/SUV for a wine tasting afternoon. I am able to cover those costs and help out with the bride's share but I don't think I'd be able to swing paying for everyone's drinks (aka "tasting fees"). I feel like this would be comparable to doing a bar crawl; the host would not be obligated to pay the bar tab of every guest, right?? 

  I think I am overthinking this but I would hate to do anything gauche. 

  Also, does everyone customarily contribute to the bride's share or is that the hosts' responsibilities? Do you just sort of take whatever anyone offers or is there a system? 

  I even got a bridesmaid book but it didn't help. It negative helped.

  ****************
  This is where planning solo, versus planning then letting others know a limited number of options, is the key to what is proper.
  
  For attendees of a night on the town style excursion, it is entirely reasonable for people to pick up their own costs for food and drink. Your part is to ensure that there is a range op prices, and a number of stops that put together are relatively modest. They all have some costs just to get there and home safely after drinking, if you have a common meeting place, less if limo will provide door to door service for all.
  Some people plan to visit multiple wineries. One is fine, two close by is nice in that you combine and compare the places, more is absolute overload . Don't overplan on hopes of a spectacular event. One or two close together, or even one winery and a small special foods stop.
  
  In upstate NY, we enjoyed a winery tour. Their shop also had a co-op arrangement with a nearby place that hand milled grain on old fashioned stone wheels, made their own crackers and breads of all sorts, dinner breads and dessert breads and also with a small niche market farm nearby that made cheeses from their own small cattle and goat herds, and also smoked and cured hams,
  
  It was more low key on the tasting of wine than when we went previously to 3 wineries with two couples who have restaurants, know vine, and were buying samples. Considering we know what we like and little more, trying some new fabulous tastes was great. But for those of us as much into food, and cooking, the one winery trip with samples of crackers and cheeses and small thin slices of hams, from maple cured to prosciutto, the one place with food topped our 3 winery tour, and cost well under what any two wineries did.
  
  So consider the crowd. You may want to settle in a restaurant for talk and social time to finish, as the point is the friendships not just wine and whatever.
  
  Your options for others should have a low ceiling of prices.
  You would not be out of line to say, I plan to pick up the brides share. Anyone else who wants to help, that is nice.
  
  You might have a few offers behind the scenes, but no collection process. Just a couple of individuals who let you know they want to share, and settle with you privately. This may be what your co-hostess helps with, but you won't price her out of the party by requiring this help.
  Have a nice time.

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• photokitty mod

  

  February 2015 edited February 2015

  huskypuppy14 said:

  It's pretty common for all attendees at bachelorette parties to pay for themselves. Just make sure everyone has all the details and cost associated with going ahead of time, so they can make an informed decision about attending.

  What husky said and...its not like they have to do a tasting a each winery. They can come along for the ride and participate when they want to or they can just watch or buy wine by the glass.
  
  You are taking care of transportation, which is awesome. I would fully expect to buy my own alcohol at a bachelorette party.
  
  Just tell them the cost to taste at each winery and remind them they are welcome to purchase the tasting, a glass of wine or just hang out and have fun at each stop. People who don't drink can still have fun on a wine bachelorette party

  ~xoxo~

  
  

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• SachaBee member

  

  February 2015

  Guys, thank you so much for giving me some things to think about. I will definitely try to find a "snack stop". We were not planning on doing dinner (if the night takes us there, it's a different story) but I  love the idea of finding somewhere special to sample local products other than the wine. I will also try to make sure the tastings are reasonable where we go. 

  Thank you!

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• SP29 member

  

  February 2015

  Any bachelorette party I've attended, each guest paid their own way, but it was known beforehand what we were doing (i.e. dinner then bar, friends house for food then out to the bar, "games" with the approximate cost of each game). 

  
  

  I would make a bit of a plan for the day, so you can let everyone know the cost to go to each place. 

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• SachaBee member

  

  February 2015

  Thank you! Will definitely do this now. 

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• Knottie74992899 member

  

  February 2015

  Bachelor parties for women is a new concept and not a traditional event for a wedding.  You are not obligated to pay for anything!

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