Can I please snark on the fall 2014 wedding thank you cards?

peachy13 · January 2015

We attended three weddings this past fall: one in September and two in October. September wedding was highly lavish, no costs spared, etc. Etiquette-wise, everything was on point. We received the thank you card in the mail on Friday.... a professional picture of B&G with a pre-printed, generic message inside. No handwriting whatsoever (not even our names, or the B&G's names...). Envelopes also had printed addresses on them so at this point I'm wondering, why the fuck did it take almost 4 months to send these out when obviously no work was put into them?

Haven't received TYs for the October weddings yet...

MnHGirl · January 2015

I went to a wedding in May and just received the Thank-You card.

It was a cute card with the couples picture and the front and was hand written.

My brother got married in October and I attended the bridal shower that was a month ahead of time. I have not received anything from them (nor has anyone else on my side of the family)- Im guessing at the least we will get what you describe (a card with nothing personilized in it) if anything at all!

lmcooper86 · January 2015

I attended a wedding at the beginning of September with FI's family. FI's father wrote a generous cheque, and we signed the card along with them and FI's sister and her husband.

About 2 months later, FI and I received a thank you card, and FI's sister and her husband received a thank you card. His parents still have not received a card. The gift from all of us was the cheque that FFIL wrote, and he's the one who didn't receive a damn thank you card!!

kristenone · January 2015

I also went to a wedding in May and still have not received a thank you card. I have mentioned this before, but I have never received a thank you card for any wedding gift I have ever given EVER. I have received a thank you card for shower gifts, so at least that is something.

cokchivette · January 2015

I have a bit of a confession... the first time I got married, it was almost a year later that I sent out thank you cards. At least I sent them? I promise to be much better about this time around.

hellohkb · January 2015

I went to a wedding in July and another in October and have yet to receive a thank you for either *shrug* Rather impolite, but I'm not losing sleep over it.

lurkergirl · January 2015

OP it sounds like they were waiting on the photographer. That's super tacky, I think, to have it all pre-printed with a generic message.

I went to a shower in February for a wedding in March and just got a ty note last week.

Cookie Pusher · January 2015

I've received thank you cards after most of the recent weddings I've been to, but there are a handful from years ago where no thank yous were sent. There were also no thank yous for the bridal showers and baby showers of those same people. At least they're consistent?

larrygaga · January 2015

I went to a wedding in march and still haven't received my thank you note.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

Went to a wedding in July, the couple sent a wedding photo as a Christmas card and then wrote a "thanks for the gift!" on the back. I understand trying to save money on postage and stationary, but if I spend my hard earned money on a thoughtful and memorable token of congratulations, I deserve a separate card and stamp... insert Kermit the Frog meme here...

Bubblegum5586 · January 2015

My cousins weddings was 6 weeks before mine. Not only did I get mine out weeks before them (which I did use a wedding photo but left the inside blank to write a personal message to each person) but it was the same BS generic printed message! No excuse to be late AND not personalized!

Also - When I got my SIL and BILs Thank you it was a photo college with a generic message on it. I snarked on it for MONTHS! Then one day when I was at my MILs I bumped her Thank You that was on her fridge and it feel to the floor. When I picked it up I saw a hand written message on the back! When I got back home I looked at the back of ours and sure enough was a very nice hand written message to us! I felt bad for judging too quickly! (although in my defense it was like on of those CVS Christmas style cards so there was a "water mark" type design on the back... not technically meant to be used to write on lol)

mlg78 · January 2015

cokchivette said:

I have a bit of a confession... the first time I got married, it was almost a year later that I sent out thank you cards. At least I sent them? I promise to be much better about this time around.

I'm sorry but I find this to be incredibly rude. Etiquette may state you have a while to send them out but I know damn well you used money/gifts prior to sending them. We didn't go on our honeymoon immediately after our wedding so the bulk of our guests received their thank yous the Wednesday following the wedding...and all certainly had them by Friday!

I haven't received a thank you from weddings in June, July and October...but I'm darn sure they've been used the china sets I got each of them!

cokchivette · January 2015

mlg78 said:

cokchivette said:

I have a bit of a confession... the first time I got married, it was almost a year later that I sent out thank you cards. At least I sent them? I promise to be much better about this time around.

I'm sorry but I find this to be incredibly rude. Etiquette may state you have a while to send them out but I know damn well you used money/gifts prior to sending them. We didn't go on our honeymoon immediately after our wedding so the bulk of our guests received their thank yous the Wednesday following the wedding...and all certainly had them by Friday!
I haven't received a thank you from weddings in June, July and October...but I'm darn sure they've been used the china sets I got each of them!

I'm completely aware. I was "busy" and it just was not as important to me as it should've been. Our wedding is the middle of December, they'll be out by the middle of January, at least.

randomnumber041616 · January 2015

I went to a wedding in August 2013 and still haven't gotten a Thank You card. Also haven't gotten one for the one that we drove 16 hours to attend this past October.

elleC14 · January 2015

This is all making me feel better. We got married November 22, 2014 and we JUST now got the pictures back from the photographer. We need to pick the design and print the Thank You cards and then I was definitely going to write something personal in each (what the hell is the point if you don't???) and try to get them all out by the three month mark. I was embarrassed that they weren't out already but if people just never send them or send them 6-12 months later, then at least I am not totally effing this up.

MandyMost · January 2015

This makes me feel better, too! I got married in early November, and we have sent them all to our relatives, and a few friends, but still have some friends left to go (15 cards for me, 12 cards for my husband to write...you can tell I'm stressed about this that I know those numbers off the top of my head!). Out of about 85 cards total, I guess that's not too bad.

Our photographer was a friend of the family (who is also a professional photographer, but is in the early stages of growing her business. We paid her, had a contract, etc., just like any vendor.). I knew it would take a few months to get all the photos because of where she is in her career (still working another job, etc.). I asked and she delivered on a couple ahead of time for us to use for the thank you card.

We got a GREAT deal on cards (80% off!) because we ordered right before Christmas, but were still able to get some out before the holiday--we aimed for getting the cards out to everyone we were going to see over the holiday in that first batch. On these cards I wrote "P.s. Happy Holidays!" but they were clearly thank you cards and not holiday cards.

Our cards are a photo on the front that says "Love & Thanks", our names, and the wedding date. The inside is totally blank and we're writing a note in each one. I'm planning to get the rest out by the end of January, which will be within the 3 month mark.

huskypuppy14 · January 2015

MandyMost said:

This makes me feel better, too! I got married in early November, and we have sent them all to our relatives, and a few friends, but still have some friends left to go (15 cards for me, 12 cards for my husband to write...you can tell I'm stressed about this that I know those numbers off the top of my head!). Out of about 85 cards total, I guess that's not too bad.

Our photographer was a friend of the family (who is also a professional photographer, but is in the early stages of growing her business. We paid her, had a contract, etc., just like any vendor.). I knew it would take a few months to get all the photos because of where she is in her career (still working another job, etc.). I asked and she delivered on a couple ahead of time for us to use for the thank you card.

We got a GREAT deal on cards (80% off!) because we ordered right before Christmas, but were still able to get some out before the holiday--we aimed for getting the cards out to everyone we were going to see over the holiday in that first batch. On these cards I wrote "P.s. Happy Holidays!" but they were clearly thank you cards and not holiday cards.

Our cards are a photo on the front that says "Love & Thanks", our names, and the wedding date. The inside is totally blank and we're writing a note in each one. I'm planning to get the rest out by the end of January, which will be within the 3 month mark.

elleC14 said:

This is all making me feel better. We got married November 22, 2014 and we JUST now got the pictures back from the photographer. We need to pick the design and print the Thank You cards and then I was definitely going to write something personal in each (what the hell is the point if you don't???) and try to get them all out by the three month mark. I was embarrassed that they weren't out already but if people just never send them or send them 6-12 months later, then at least I am not totally effing this up.

How about not using photos of your wedding and just buy a pack of thank you cards from Target or something. Most people would prefer a prompt thank you, and not wait for a photo.

huskypuppy14 · January 2015

lmcooper86 said:

I attended a wedding at the beginning of September with FI's family. FI's father wrote a generous cheque, and we signed the card along with them and FI's sister and her husband.
About 2 months later, FI and I received a thank you card, and FI's sister and her husband received a thank you card. His parents still have not received a card. The gift from all of us was the cheque that FFIL wrote, and he's the one who didn't receive a damn thank you card!!

Isn't it possible that FFIL's card got lost in the mail. I mean if you and your SIL got TY cards for a check you didn't even write, I would presume they would write a thank you to the person who actually wrote the check,

Also, while gifts are not required, I find it weird that you signed a card for a gift you did not give. I feel that if you are old enough to live on your own and are married/engaged, you're old enough to not piggy back on your parent's gift. Totally, different if people go in together on a gift, but it sounds like you just signed a card and took partial credit for a gift that your FFIL paid for.

kaitlynmichelle · January 2015

I asked our photographer for a high resolution photo that we could print and put inside the thank you cards I had bought before the wedding. We had 10 pictures as a preview the morning after our wedding, so she said to pick a few and she sent us the non watermarked files. I used a 1 hour photo place and slipped pictures inside the cards. Had them out by around 3 weeks after the wedding to everyone and I was worried I took too long.

porkchops926 · January 2015

My parents went to a second cousin's wedding back in 2010 that was luxury. I mean, over $100,000 easy. Gift registry was all high end requests from Bloomingdale's etc. Never got a thank you card. No one that attended that they are friends with got a thank you card. To me that's unbelievable.

The couple is divorced now so I don't think it's ever coming.

wrigleyville · January 2015

I judge the shit out of people if I don't get it by the 8-week mark. Three months is too long, no matter what the "norm" is.

I would much rather get a regular thank you card in a timely manner than wait and wait and wait for one with your wedding photo on it.

abbyj700 · January 2015

Our wedding was November 1st. We have been sending Thank You's the entire month of January as we're getting them done. The plan is to have them out by February 1st. I know some people may feel slighted that we took so long. With holidays and work - this is the best time for us to get them all completed. We are taking the time to write the cards because we appreciate each and every gift we got - and each and every person who took time out of their busy lives to celebrate with us. Yes, they could have been sent faster. I'm sure some people here will roll their eyes but sorry.not.sorry.

wrigleyville · January 2015

abbyj700 said:

Our wedding was November 1st. We have been sending Thank You's the entire month of January as we're getting them done. The plan is to have them out by February 1st. I know some people may feel slighted that we took so long. With holidays and work - this is the best time for us to get them all completed. We are taking the time to write the cards because we appreciate each and every gift we got - and each and every person who took time out of their busy lives to celebrate with us. Yes, they could have been sent faster. I'm sure some people here will roll their eyes but sorry.not.sorry.

I give more leeway during the holidays, but if someone has a March wedding and I don't see that thank you card by the end of May, I judge.

allispain · January 2015

Sorry, but I'm not a fan of the photo thank you cards - I'd much rather have a plain card that arrives promptly than one with a photo on it. Feels too much like a holiday card to me.

We left for our honeymoon the Tuesday after our Saturday wedding. All of the thank you notes were in the mail before we left because we took the time to do them that Sunday and Monday. We were going to be moving shortly after our return, and I didn't want to accidentally forget any of them in the chaos.

I get that not everyone can get them out quite that quickly. But seriously - how long does it take to write a thank you card? Not that long. Not even when you have a lot to do - just write them in batches and be done with it.

mrsk616 · January 2015

bubblegum1309 said:

My cousins weddings was 6 weeks before mine. Not only did I get mine out weeks before them (which I did use a wedding photo but left the inside blank to write a personal message to each person) but it was the same BS generic printed message! No excuse to be late AND not personalized!

Also - When I got my SIL and BILs Thank you it was a photo college with a generic message on it. I snarked on it for MONTHS! Then one day when I was at my MILs I bumped her Thank You that was on her fridge and it feel to the floor. When I picked it up I saw a hand written message on the back! When I got back home I looked at the back of ours and sure enough was a very nice hand written message to us! I felt bad for judging too quickly! (although in my defense it was like on of those CVS Christmas style cards so there was a "water mark" type design on the back... not technically meant to be used to write on lol)

id be the one snarking before knowing everything. i have this wild feeling that my cousin will not care to find out information (read address, my FI name etc) for her wedding and she will do something like this which is rude IMO. my other cousin did everything right, love her personal touches she put in them (ps enjoy the wedding planning) and the only picture that was sent out was her save the dates nothing else.

flantastic · January 2015

I just got a text from the bride in the wedding I attended in early June, asking for my current address. My eye roll was so hard.

snakeylady · January 2015

My cousin sent me a message about a week before Christmas asking for my address. We got a Christmas card from them, but not a thank you note. Her wedding was in early October.

I'm not sure what I'm expecting, because I was included on my mom's thank you note for my gift from her shower. (Mom and I gave her separate gifts.) And on my mom's invite for the shower. And on my parents' invite for the wedding. I'm an adult with a college degree who has been living in a different town from my parents since before all these went in the mail.

chocolateygabs · January 2015

I'm still waiting for a thank you card for my cousin's wedding in June, but I shouldn't be [as in I should stop waiting as I am not going to get it]. I didn't get an invitation sent to me in the mail, and I believe they assumed my now-husband and I were included on my parents' invite (um, I am ten years older and have been living on my own since you were in elementary school, and you only got married before me because your mom didn't want to conflict with my wedding. I had to go up my aunt, the MOG, and politely tell her that the invite must have gotten lost in the mail. The look on her face, though she tried to hide it, indicated otherwise.) . The bridal shower thank you was sent to my mom for the both of us, and they finally asked for my address in, oh, November, I think. I did get it to them, two weeks later, but I still don't have it, and my parents have had theirs for months now.

And yes, it was a picture card.

badbnagdway · January 2015

Getting a thank you card for a wedding present lets me know you did get that gift that I ordered off your registry and never physically saw and/or that item I left on the gift table. If I don't get the thank you, I don't know if you got the gift. That is what bothers me the most. Don't hold out for getting together a personalized thank you card. If you want to send me a wedding picture later, go ahead, but don't hold my gift acknowledgement hostage waiting for it.

charcoalandblush · February 2015

I still haven't gotten a thank you card for the wedding I attended in May.

I know I'm in the minority, but I LOVE cards with wedding photos on them. Especially from people who don't put their pictures/link to their album on Facebook. I absolutely love getting to see some photos from the day. The last two weddings we went to send them and I thought they were just precious. They're still displayed on our book shelf.

That being said, there's no reason they can't be timely. We're going to ask our photographer to get us at least one good photo of the two of us the Monday after the wedding and order them immediately. In my experience, Shutterfly orders get to me within 10 days, so we should still be able to get thank yous out within 3-4 weeks.

KatieinBkln · February 2015

charcoalandblush said:

I still haven't gotten a thank you card for the wedding I attended in May.

I know I'm in the minority, but I LOVE cards with wedding photos on them. Especially from people who don't put their pictures/link to their album on Facebook. I absolutely love getting to see some photos from the day. The last two weddings we went to send them and I thought they were just precious. They're still displayed on our book shelf.

That being said, there's no reason they can't be timely. We're going to ask our photographer to get us at least one good photo of the two of us the Monday after the wedding and order them immediately. In my experience, Shutterfly orders get to me within 10 days, so we should still be able to get thank yous out within 3-4 weeks.

See, I love cards with wedding photos on them too, but my feeling is: Why not save those for a holiday card? (If you can get yours out within 4 weeks, that is awesome, but we all know from lurking these boards that 3-4 weeks is by no means the norm, and depending on your photographer it might not be possible to get a good photo from them the Monday after the wedding).

Can I please snark on the fall 2014 wedding thank you cards?

Re: Can I please snark on the fall 2014 wedding thank you cards?

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