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bridesmaid bails

Knottie14623169Knottie14623169 member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I had a bridesmaid bail no word no nothing just never showed up to fittings or anything wedding realated. and everyone who i ask cant afford it or wont be in town the day of my wedding...now im left clueless on what to do..
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Re: bridesmaid bails

  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie14623169 said:
    I had a bridesmaid bail no word no nothing just never showed up to fittings or anything wedding realated. and everyone who i ask cant afford it or wont be in town the day of my wedding...now im left clueless on what to do..

    STOP asking people is what you do!!! Goodness gracious, of course no one wants to be a replacement bridesmaid. It's not an honor to be a last minute second-stringer.

    I'm sorry your friend bailed, but stop worrying about this; if you're short a bridesmaid it will not matter at all. What's your concern?

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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    There is nothing to do.  She bailed and now you have one less BM. 

    NBD






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
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    edited January 2015
    You get to save money on a bouquet and a gift now. Don't replace her. No one wants to be the last resort/replacement choice.

    I had a BM drop out on me (my sister, actually) and I went on with business as usual. She has not been missed. I'll still be just as married without her, the wedding day will still happen, and the other BMs will still be standing up there with me. No big deal.
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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
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    ohannabelle said:
    What do you do? 
    I'd get married. There aren't any state regulations requiring certain numbers of bridesmaids. 
    Why is this a problem? 
    Or are you just really worried about your friend and wondering why she disappeared? That might be a problem. 
    Right?  Maybe spend some time figuring out what's going on with your friend, as opposed to asking around town for a new bridesmaid.
    Anniversary

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Have you gotten married yet? If not, then she hasn't officially bailed. She doesn't need to attend wedding related events. And all she needs is to order the dress and show up on time the day of your wedding.

    But really I would be more concerned about my friend and why she has just disappeared then worrying about finding a replacement. FFS, this a friend that you were close enough with to ask to be a BM. Why are you only concerned about filling her spot?

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    Have you reached out to her to make sure she's OK??? That really should be your first concern, not your wedding! 

    No one wants to be a runner-up bridesmaid. So you'll have one less. It's not the end of the world. 
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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
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    Knottie14623169 said:
    I had a bridesmaid bail no word no nothing just never showed up to fittings or anything wedding realated. and everyone who i ask cant afford it or wont be in town the day of my wedding...now im left clueless on what to do..
    "Everyone who I ask..." how many people have you asked? Stop asking people! Geez. Just leave your bridal party down one bridesmaid. 

    I assume you've tried to reach out to this bridesmaid to find out what's going on in her life (Not "WHY DID YOU BAIL OUT OF MY WEDDING!?")

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Unless she was the only BM then you don't need to replace her. One of your lucky BM will get the pleasure of being escorted by two GM. We all promise that having uneven bridal party is not going to ruin your wedding. On plus side, think of the money you'll be saving now because one less bouquet, on less gift and one (or two if she has a SO) that you have to host at the Rehersal dinner. Ok, was just trying to show you the silver lining. But if she hasn't missed the deadline for ordering her BM dress, and that's the deadline for a rush order, she hasn't bailed.

    But on a serious note, you should call her and just to see if she is ok and what is going on with her in her life, be a concerned friend.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Erikan73 said:

    Unless she was the only BM then you don't need to replace her. One of your lucky BM will get the pleasure of being escorted by two GM. We all promise that having uneven bridal party is not going to ruin your wedding. On plus side, think of the money you'll be saving now because one less bouquet, on less gift and one (or two if she has a SO) that you have to host at the Rehersal dinner. Ok, was just trying to show you the silver lining. But if she hasn't missed the deadline for ordering her BM dress, and that's the deadline for a rush order, she hasn't bailed.

    But on a serious note, you should call her and just to see if she is ok and what is going on with her in her life, be a concerned friend.

    Even if she was the only BM she shouldn't replace her.  I mean if you hadn't asked anyone else to be in your wedding then you don't feel close enough to anyone else to have them in that position. So if your one BM does bail then filling that spot would be just that, filling a spot.

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  • Knottie14623169Knottie14623169 member
    First Comment
    deep down i feel the same way but it still kinda like a knife to the back...
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    Knottie14623169 said:
    deep down i feel the same way but it still kinda like a knife to the back...
    This is a friend problem.  It really doesn't affect your wedding whatsoever.  Call her and make sure she's okay and safe, seriously.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    MadHops21 said:
    I thought this said bridesmaid balls...now that I know what it's about, I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved... 
    I was a reading fail with you, MadHops21!  I was like, "Whoa, what is this about." And then read the title a second time.  I fall in the slightly disappointed category, lol.
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