• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Wedding Woes

I feel like my his sisters don't actually want to be in the wedding party.. no dresses, june wedding

So last year I asked my FI two sisters to be bridesmaids in our wedding. I really have NO family besides my kids and my other two sisters. They both said yes, they havn't said a word about the wedding since last June. I messaged them both a little over two weeks ago asking them when they wanted to get their dresses, (my sisters have theirs) Since I worked for Davids Bridal before I know how the ordering system works for dresses, and I explained to them that their options are getting heavily limited at this moment. and by the end of Feb, even more so..
The wedding is June 27th, I'm sort of starting to freak out a bit...
One said to send them the link to the website, the other said "ok, they'll look"
I don't ever hear from them, not that I see or hear from them a whole lot regardless, but they're supposed to be bridesmaids, I post things on facebook to friends or people involved in the wedding in filtered posts, knowing they see it, I get no responses or anything about it.
I don't know what to do, I feel like there's no tactful way of asking what is going on and asking if they actually still want to be in the wedding...

Re: I feel like my his sisters don't actually want to be in the wedding party.. no dresses, june wedding

  • Why can't your FI call them? Why don't you say politely, "hey I need to get dresses ordered by xx date. Can you let me know what your choice is?"

    I'm not trying to be mean, but posting on Facebook about the wedding is nice but quite frankly they may not care. My sister is getting married a month later, and I'm totally excited for her. I can't wait for her wedding, but I don't care about some of the planning stuff she's doing. Been there, done that. It's her day and I'll be there to support her 110%. But I've got stuff in my life that I need to focus on right now. Just something to consider.
    HeffalumpMNNEBridemrsconn23ChemFanatic25
  • he keeps saying "he's going to call them" I gave them a date for the dresses, but I cant get a response from them besides  the origional ones I posted.
  • As for facebook.  It's facebook.  Don't let it work you up.

  • The knot ate the first part.  They have a date to order dresses by.  What more response do you need? BM dress shopping is a PITA and usually quite costly.  I'd be putting it off too.
  • The date is actually in two days. I told them they could have whatever dress they like as long as it was a certain fabric and color. 
    I told them I would pay for the dresses, I also paid for both my sisters already. I think that's something I should have mentioned in my original post. Sorry :/ That was a goof on my part.
  • If you already gave them the deadline to order dresses, there is nothing more you need to do.  I'm assuming they're adults.  They can figure it out.

    Heffalump
  • So last year I asked my FI two sisters to be bridesmaids in our wedding. I really have NO family besides my kids and my other two sisters.

    SITB

    So basically, you chose them not because you were close and it meant a lot to you to have them there, but rather to fill some empty slots.  And now they are behaving as if they are just filling some empty slots.  Hmmmm.

    They'll order dresses or they won't, they'll come in on time or not, but look on the bright side:  if they're not in the wedding, then it doesn't sound like you'll miss them.  Problem solved.
    doeydo
  • no actually I said that to state I'm trying to get closer to them, I would like to be closer, I chose them instead of asking friends I see more on a regular basis.
  • Honestly, that's your mistake.  If you want to get closer to them, ask them out to do something sans wedding talk or obligations.  Your wedding isn't a UN peace/friendship summit for them, it's an event small job.  And while friends are usually happy to do it, people you don't really know, aren't really that jazzed about it.
    mrsconn23zitiqueen
  • ChemFanatic25ChemFanatic25 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited February 2015
    So last year I asked my FI two sisters to be bridesmaids in our wedding. I really have NO family besides my kids and my other two sisters. They both said yes, they havn't said a word about the wedding since last June. I messaged them both a little over two weeks ago asking them when they wanted to get their dresses, (my sisters have theirs) Since I worked for Davids Bridal before I know how the ordering system works for dresses, and I explained to them that their options are getting heavily limited at this moment. and by the end of Feb, even more so..
    The wedding is June 27th, I'm sort of starting to freak out a bit...
    One said to send them the link to the website, the other said "ok, they'll look"
    I don't ever hear from them, not that I see or hear from them a whole lot regardless, but they're supposed to be bridesmaids, I post things on facebook to friends or people involved in the wedding in filtered posts, knowing they see it, I get no responses or anything about it.
    I don't know what to do, I feel like there's no tactful way of asking what is going on and asking if they actually still want to be in the wedding...

    he keeps saying "he's going to call them" I gave them a date for the dresses, but I cant get a response from them besides  the origional ones I posted.

    The date is actually in two days. I told them they could have whatever dress they like as long as it was a certain fabric and color. 
    I told them I would pay for the dresses, I also paid for both my sisters already. I think that's something I should have mentioned in my original post. Sorry :/ That was a goof on my part.

    no actually I said that to state I'm trying to get closer to them, I would like to be closer, I chose them instead of asking friends I see more on a regular basis.

    OP, you should have asked your closer friends to be in your wedding party rather than doing something out of obligation. Did your FI as you to do this or something? Also, the general rule is if they don't have their dresses come wedding day you have your answer. They are probably pretty busy or they are concerned about costs. Did you ask for their budgets before picking out dresses. Many times someone will put off purchasing something even though they say they will get it because they are uncomfortable telling you that they don't want to spend that much money.

     

    Edit: Missed the third post. Nevemind about the budgets.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • There's a lot of contradictions in OP and the follow ups. 

    OP - why didn't you include fSILs when you went shopping with your sisters last year? Why did you only give them 2 weeks to shop? "I called them 2 weeks ago about desses" to "they have 2 days to order" - that's awfully quick and inconvenient. "Ain't nobody got time for that."

    "I posted stuff on FB" - WTF kind of way is this to communicate with these people? YOU pick up the phone and CALL them. How do you expect to develop a relationship with them if you don't have any sort of contact with them? 
  • Don't let it stress you! You tried to include them and they are slacking. If they don't have their dresses in time your wedding day will continue on without them! Weddings are stressful enough besides having to keep tabs on everyone.

    Knottie89449990
  • O.k....  First it sounds like a family procrastination issue on FI's side - you're going to be dealing with that for an eternity.  Figure out a way to manage it now because if it's driving you this bonkers now, it isn't going to get any better after the wedding.

    Tell them you need a size in the next two days so you can order dresses otherwise if the wrong size gets ordered it'll be $$$ on alterations which will be on them(if you're paying for them)... 

    It sounds like you're dealing with a lot but you pretty much need to dial the number and hand the phone to your FI...

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Knottie89449990
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    They have the parameters of the dress and they know when your wedding is.  Stop worrying about it.  If they don't have appropriate dresses by June 27 then they'll just be guests. 



This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards