Sex issues aside, H and I are TTC. I've been off BC for several months. I have PCOS and don't ovulate, so today was my consultation with my RE about starting Clomid. H knew about it. Has known about it for three weeks, I reminded him every few days (because he asked when it was again), it's in our shared Google Calendar. Also, I had to call him DURING the appointment because I had an insurance question.
During the appointment the RE did a saline Sonohysterogram, and it went horribly. I had severe pain, which is rare, and as a sexual assault survivor, any pain in that area messes with me emotionally, which H knows. He also knows PCOS in itself is a mindfuck and I'm sensitive about it. But he didn't even ask me how the appointment went when he got home. 3 hours after he got home I told him about it. He didn't take any interest in the procedure gone bad. In fact while I was telling him that it hurt so bad I was crying for a good ten minutes in the exam room, he kept watching tv. Didn't ask me if I was ok, no sorry dears, no poor poodles, nothing. Then he got pissy a little later when I tried to talk about what happens next, because he was playing a game on his tablet and "can't drop what he's doing if I start talking to him 2 seconds into it."
He never asks questions. Never looks anything up. Gets pissy with me if I get emotional or worry this might not happen. I told him it upset me that he didn't even ask how my appointment went, or ask if I was ok after I told him what happened during it. Didn't ask where we go from here, how long til we know something, nothing. That his lack of interest was hurtful to me because I invest so much time in understanding his issues, and the process of trying to give him the biological child HE insists on (I'd be perfectly happy adopting) should at least be worth a passing glance at google and a "How did it go?" That I feel alone in this, and I am because he can't do much, but he could at least attempt to educate himself. I told him that I know he cares, and that to him nothing is happening until something is actually happening, but to me every part of this is a big deal, and it would be nice if he would at least keep tabs. He said he would try, but acted as though I was asking for something unreasonable. He did apologize for not asking how my appointment went.
I know a lot of you ladies have gone through infertility, and I guess I just want to know how your SOs handled it. I feel he should be educating himself, even if through asking me, at least a little. I feel he should at least ask how my appointments go and what's next, and give me hair pats when bad things happen. Am I asking too much?