I like the feeling of JOTB

mrsconn23 · February 2015

Dear Prudence,
I’m a young guy who’s in a monogamous relationship with my sweetheart from college. We did the long-distance thing successfully, and now we’re living together. Everything is awesome. He gets me, he makes me pancakes, we’re totally sexually compatible and into the same things. There’s just one problem: He does not enjoy spooning. He says it’s uncomfortable for him because he doesn’t know where to put his bottom arm, and my voluptuous hair gets in his face. Spooning is one of my favorite nonsexual (and sexual) things to do together because I like the feeling of my butt on his junk. I’ve told him this, and he says he understands, and so he’ll sympathy-spoon me for a few minutes, but it’s just not the same. How do I get him to want to spoon me? Also, he’s fine with being little spoon, but I don’t want that. Plus, it’s not fair if he gets to be little spoon and I don’t. We need your help.

—The Lonely Spoon

PMeg819 · February 2015

This is a real issue? I don't know. I mean pull your hair back. Tell him where to put his arm.

I swear Millenials are incompetent or just really really stupid.

mrsconn23 · February 2015

I hate spooning/cuddling, DH loves it. We've managed to be together 11 years and married for 8 without this being a huge, advice-column-seeking issue.

He's an asshat.

tawillers · February 2015

I can only spoon/cuddle for about 10-15 minutes before I start to sweat from body heat. Honestly, even in the winter if DH is too close to me, I'm pushing him off as soon as he falls asleep.

I like to do it, but I get hot. Most of the time, I'll just flip the covers off of me until he falls asleep and then perform Ross' hug and roll.

mrsconn23 · February 2015

*Barbie* · February 2015

it took me a few minutes to figure out "JOTB"

neither of us is real big on spooning/cuddling - 10 minutes or so would probably be the limit unless there's additional sexytime activities going on.

NOLABridesmaid · February 2015

What the heck is little spoon?

Heffalump · February 2015

PMeg819 said:

This is a real issue? I don't know. I mean pull your hair back. Tell him where to put his arm.

I swear Millenials are incompetent or just really really stupid.

This is what killed me. He can't think they're the only people who have ever dealt with this in the history of humankind, so clearly it's a solvable problem. If I were the BF ("Big Spoon"), I would probably shave his voluptuous hair in his sleep, but that's gotta be a dealbreaker.

Also, I want pancakes.

*Barbie* · February 2015

@NOLA - the big spoon is the person facing the back of the little spoon - hence boyfriend's junk on OP's butt.

if OP was the big spoon, his junk would be would be pressed against boyfriend's butt.

***Edited - I completely missed that this was a gay couple. either way, little spoon's back is pressed against big spoon's front.

0Face · February 2015

Huh. I love that he brings up he makes pancakes---because *THAT* is a sign of a relationship with longevity.

Heffalump · February 2015

(Psssst: it's 2 guys.)

mrsconn23 · February 2015

I didn't catch it was a guy until the 3rd reading.

Now I want to see the OP's hair. I'm imagining:

mrsconn23 · February 2015

Heffalump said:
Also, I want pancakes.

Me too. I may have to make some this weekend.

auntflo2point0 · February 2015

For some reason the "voluptious hair" part has completely tripped me up. I can't get past this because I can't picture it.

mrsconn23 · February 2015

I've posted a helpful .gif @auntflo2point0

auntflo2point0 · February 2015

Ick. I wouldn't want that near my face either.

NOLABridesmaid · February 2015

Thanks, Barbie.

0Face · February 2015

Yeah, until I cut my hair this last time it was "could you fix your hair?" all the time. Now? none of that

MNNEBride · February 2015

They just need "The Cuddle Mattress" to solve the arm problem:

http://www.psfk.com/2013/09/cuddle-mattress.html

GBCK · February 2015

I actually think that's kinda brilliant. Except, no sheets. EW

dharmabunny · February 2015

Why won't you spoon me, baby? ::sad face:::

dharmabunny · February 2015

.

dharmabunny · February 2015

dharmabunny said:
Trying again...because you've let yourself go, darling.

ChemFanatic25 · February 2015

Now that is a first world problem.

Dreamergirl8812 · February 2015

mrs.conn23 said:

Dear Prudence,
I’m a young guy who’s in a monogamous relationship with my sweetheart from college. We did the long-distance thing successfully, and now we’re living together. Everything is awesome. He gets me, he makes me pancakes, we’re totally sexually compatible and into the same things. There’s just one problem: He does not enjoy spooning. He says it’s uncomfortable for him because he doesn’t know where to put his bottom arm, and my voluptuous hair gets in his face. Spooning is one of my favorite nonsexual (and sexual) things to do together because I like the feeling of my butt on his junk. I’ve told him this, and he says he understands, and so he’ll sympathy-spoon me for a few minutes, but it’s just not the same. How do I get him to want to spoon me? Also, he’s fine with being little spoon, but I don’t want that. Plus, it’s not fair if he gets to be little spoon and I don’t. We need your help.
—The Lonely Spoon

I like the feeling of JOTB

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