Hello Etiquette Board!
I was active here while planning my wedding in 2012 and haven't been around much since, but recently received a Save the Date from a friend and I am just so dumbfounded by the amout of Faux Pas this bride has made.
We were invited to her engagement party several weeks ago by a friend of the bride hosting a "stock the bar" engagment party at the bride's home. We were under the impression that the bride and groom were eloping in the caribbean, so were a little surprised they were having an engagement party. we couldn't attend the engagement party because of another wedding, and were a little turned off by the request to bring gifts to "stock the bar" for the wedding, but ultimately not a mis-step on the part of the bride, but rather her friend.
Last week we received a save the date, which got me excited, because "oh yay, they are getting married in the states, now the engagement party makes sense". Turns out, no. they are getting married in the caribbean, but throwing a party a couple months later, where the bride will wear her dress. we are not invited to the wedding ceremony, just the party several months later. The save the date also asked us to consider a gift to their honeymoon registry (i.e. the trip they're getting married on). Of least concern to me, this party, which is near where we live, is on my H's 30th birthday, I've been planning throw him a party that weekend, which would now cause friends to have to choose.
At this point H's party probably won't happen. but I'm wondering if there is a graceful way to get out of going to this "wedding" (though a small part of me want to go watch the train wreck). I have no plans to pay for their vacation, but would you bring or send a small gift? other friends in this group don't seem offended by how this whole thing was approached, but I'm just beside myself.
advice? laughs?
edited, because...words