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Help! MOH can't make it to my wedding???

pandabear322pandabear322
100 Comments
in Wedding Party
Hi ladies.  So my MOH (absolute best friend for the last 13 years of my life) can't make it to my wedding.  She got kicked out of college this semester (was supposed to graduate this may), and now she is graduating next  may.  On the same day as my wedding.  4 hours away.  There is NO way I'm going to ask her to skip graduation (actually I'm also bummed because I was hoping to watch her graduate as well!)

Called my venue (the only thing we have booked for our date, May 14, 2011) to see what other dates are available, and ALL of April, May and June are completely booked!  The only open date for 2011 is in July, and we've been pretty opposed to having it that late, because it's very hot here in that month, and it's a semi-outdoors wedding.

So, my question is what are your feelings on the whole situation?

We're contemplating a friday night wedding (there are tons of open dates at our venue), is this an acceptable compromise?
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Re: Help! MOH can't make it to my wedding???

  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    If you'd be ok with changing the date and other key players (parents, WP, anyone else who NEEDS to be there) can make it - which presumably most can, since it's over a year away - that sounds like a great idea. My only concern would be if you change it and her school obligations end up being too much for her to feel like she can be a BM after all, but if you would be ok with that possibility then go for it. What does your FI think?
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  • CTGirl30CTGirl30
    1000 Comments
    You're in a very early stage of wedding planning so it sounds like you can make a date switch if your venue is open w/o throwing 5,000 things off track. Do it if you really want to have a Friday night wedding, though, and won't be annoyed that you changed it if - down the line - for some other unforseen reason MOH (or another important person) cannot attend on the Friday night.

    Keep in mind that there will always be people who have a conflict with your date (I'm a May bride, too, and we had some people send regrets due to nephews / kids graduating on our weekend). But in the case of someone who's very important to you, I think it can definately be worth it to try and accomodate.

    FI and I had a tentative date - I quickly asked all would-be BMs (I didn't ask officially anyone until 7 months out and we booked our venue at 12 months out) if they were free that weekend and they said yes so that helped us decide to book the date we did.
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  • pandabear322pandabear322
    100 Comments
    My FI knows how close her and I are, and really just wants to make sure that I'm happy.  He was never the one for a friday night wedding, but he's ok with it if she can make it. 

    Our wedding (if on a friday) would be after our current date, so she'd be done with school, so her obligations shouldn't be a problem.

    Another option we have is to keep the date and have her show up the reception if she can make it after the commencement ceremony.  I'm not a fan of change, when plans have been set! 

    Everything just seems so conflicted right now!
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    A Friday night wedding is perfectly acceptable.

    I would just make sure that changing the plans for ONE person doesn't affect a LOT of other people. There will always be at least one person that cannot make it no matter what date you pick, so clear the dates with the VIPs (parents, siblings, grandparents, dearest friends, and most importantly your FI) and decide from there.
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  • emilykathleen511emilykathleen511
    1000 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited March 2010
    A Friday night wedding would only be tough if you have lots of out of town guests that you want to be there. If you do, there is a good chance that a lot of them will decline, because Friday night doesn't leave much time for travel.

    Edit: So if that's the case, you would have to weigh what is more important to you.
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  • ldmartin07ldmartin07 member
    First Comment
    I don't know if this would work, but what about a Sunday wedding?  I believe that's the weekend of Memorial Day, so then people would have the Monday to get back to wherever they were from, if you have out of town guests, and it would mean people may not even have to take time off.

    Just a thought.
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