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emotions of a bride

Raelaz12Raelaz12 member
in Chit Chat
Has anyone gone through or going through feeling not no one in your wedding party is excited as you are.  Everyone says, "have fun planning your wedding"  It isn't so fun when the Matron of Honor you have chosen has too much on her plate and your soon to be  17 year old step daughter, you feel, is really interested in participating in anything but the wedding.  Ugh.  How to deal with feeling like you are reading for your wedding day to be over with all ready because no one seems excited but you?
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Re: emotions of a bride

  • kvrunskvruns member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    no one will be as excited as you are - period.  and while I am excited when my friends get married, and if I'm in the wedding great, but I don't want to be involved in all of the planning or DIY projects, showers or anything. I'll attend and have fun on that day but the planning and everything before then is all the bride.
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  • flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    The media is going to tell you that in order to get married, you have to have an entourage of female friends and family members fawning over every detail with you. This is a lie. The sooner you realize that, the happier you will be. That doesn't mean that no one is happy you're getting married, but they're not getting married. You are. Therefore they don't care as much as you or your FI.

    As for your step-daughter, sounds like you're more interested in making her participate in your wedding than you are in building a relationship with her. 
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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Raelaz12 said:
    Has anyone gone through or going through feeling not no one in your wedding party is excited as you are.  Everyone says, "have fun planning your wedding"  It isn't so fun when the Matron of Honor you have chosen has too much on her plate and your soon to be  17 year old step daughter, you feel, is really interested in participating in anything but the wedding.  Ugh.  How to deal with feeling like you are reading for your wedding day to be over with all ready because no one seems excited but you?
    You put on your big girl panties and deal with it. 

    Nobody helped me plan anything, except my husband. And honestly, it was better that way. We got exactly the wedding we wanted, and nobody else got to tell us that we had to have an evening wedding, or a bar, or a plated dinner. We loved our dry lunchtime wedding TYVM.

    Your stepdaughter isn't getting married. She's a teenager. Her life revolves around school and her friends, as it should. Your MOH's life is her own. She can't be expected to drop everything just because you got engaged. 

    Nobody will ever be as excited about things that happen to you as you will. That's just life. 
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  • LabLove86LabLove86 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2015
    Well - no one IS as excited as you are because it is not as important to anyone as it is to you and your fi. ***** I recommend just focusing on the big picture - at the end of the day you marry and commit yourself to the person you're in love with. And that's pretty great. ***** As far as friends and family - make sure you're spending time with them without wedding talk/purposes. They are important people in your life and just keep in mind they have things other than your wedding on their plates. AHHH PARAGRAPHS!
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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Nobody has any commitment to help you plan your wedding but you and your FI. Everybody else just needs to show up on time and if need be, in the appropriate dress/suit. 

    And as everybody else has said, the mantra around here and one you need to adopt is:

    Nobody is as excited about your wedding as you are. 

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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2015
    No one will be as excited about your wedding day like you and your FI. I mean, just think about it. Have any of your friends or family members been married in recent years? Were you as excited for their wedding as you are for yours?

    Your Matron of Honor has a life outside your wedding. She is not required to do anything beyond showing up the day of your wedding. Anything beyond that should be appreciated, but not expected.

    Seriously, let it go. This wedding is about you and your FI, focus on that. FWIW, I went dress shopping alone, FI and I did everything together so far for the wedding, and it is totally fine. This is real life, not some Rom Com.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Yes, I felt this way. It's because I was the one getting married. Not them. Why would they be as excited as me? The person who should be sharing equally in your excitement will be your FI - because he's getting married too.
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would have found it odd if anyone else (besides my FI) was as excited or more excited that I was getting married than I was.
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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited February 2015
    Raelaz12 said: Has anyone gone through or going through feeling not no one in your wedding party is excited as you are.  Everyone says, "have fun planning your wedding"  It isn't so fun when the Matron of Honor you have chosen has too much on her plate and your soon to be  17 year old step daughter, you feel, is really interested in participating in anything but the wedding.  Ugh.  How to deal with feeling like you are reading for your wedding day to be over with all ready because no one seems excited but you?
    -----------------------
    Yeah....have you ever     met a 17 year old before?

    You're right, no one is as excited as you are.  And they shouldn't be, because, as flan said, that would be hella weird.  
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  • princessofgenoviaprincessofgenovia member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    Hell I'm still not that exctied for my wedding. I'm getting there but mostly I'm not even thinking about it.
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Considering I wasn't even excited about my wedding, how on earth could I expect anyone else to be excited? I mean, yay, DH and I finally got married but I hated the entire wedding planning process and still honestly and truly wished he gave more consideration to my desire to elope. No way in hell would I expect a 17 year-old to have been excited at all!
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  • MadHops21MadHops21 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    I wish my FI was excited about the wedding. But truth be told, no one will be as excited as you are. It can be a bummer at the beginning, but you learn to accept it. 
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  • rcher912rcher912 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    MadHops21 said:
    I wish my FI was excited about the wedding. But truth be told, no one will be as excited as you are. It can be a bummer at the beginning, but you learn to accept it. 
    hahaha, yup. This.

    The advice I was given when I was going through this was "Well, that's why you come to TK. Welcome." Share on here and people will get it and be happy for you. People in your life are busy and really not in a wedding state of mind.

    I'm way more excited about these strangers' weddings than I was for the previous 2 that I was MOH in, just because I'm in a similar headspace now.
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yeah, I used to be pretty "meh" about weddings.  Like, cool, free dinner and booze. Cheers, happy for you! 

    I think I've been genuinely excited for maybe 3 of the people for whom I've attended weddings. The first was my very best friend and she was the first person of any of my peers to get married. That was cool. The other two, that's because those people were in very long term relationships so it was like, WOO! ABOUT TIME! CAKE!. 

    I'm pretty much fawning over my other best friend's wedding planning right now, because she got engaged two weeks before my wedding. I went from planning mine to giving her all kinds of advice (solicited, don't worry), and I'm loving being helpful and chatting/calming her down about her dramatic in-laws.  There's no rule that anyone "has" to be fawning over anyone else. (Maybe I should get an award for being a dream bridesmaid.)
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  • flyingfoxesflyingfoxes member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    My future step kids (15 & 19) are interested in dressing up (well, the 19 year old boy is), but other than that - nope. 
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  • adettma32adettma32 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    No one will be as excited as you. That's why I come here even just to lurk from time to time. Nice to be around wedding talk without actually boring my friends with wedding talk!! :)
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