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First time in a wedding

anrforanranrforanr member
100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Party
One of my best friends (also one of my BM) is getting married in June, and I'm one of her BM. I've never been in a wedding before, so just looking for what other Knotties have done.
Should I get her gifts off her registry, or something more personal? I'm not sure what the gift-giving protocol is for the WP.
I know (from TK) that you "don't have to get them something off their registry" and that you "don't have to get them a gift at all". I want to get this friend gifts, so just looking for advice on what you all have done if you've been in a wedding.
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Re: First time in a wedding

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Giving a gift as a member of the wedding party is no different than just being a guest. So, buy off the registry or give money...that is up to you. Two of my four BM bought off our registry. Another gave us a non registry gorgeous platter and my MOH gave us Omaha Steaks (I rarely eat meat. She clearly didn't put much thought into that one.).
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  • blushingbride8888blushingbride8888 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    I've never been a bridesmaid before, but my bridesmaids are pros. One did a personalized burlap framed piece that said like Mr. & Mrs. LAST NAME EST 2015 or whatever for her shower. They're so pretty and thoughtful. Jane.com has them a lot but they're also sold on etsy. She purchased gifts off her registry for the wedding. I'm getting one of my gfs a Mrs. Kate Spade necklace for her shower. For her wedding I'll probably do a gift card to Crate & Barrel where she's registered since her registry is small or cash.

    I think anything off the registry is fair game, but because she's your friend more personalized gifts also would probably work since you know her so well.

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  • anrforanranrforanr member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Thanks for your helpful comments! I didn't know if there were certain etiquette rules to follow on this topic, so knowing it's pretty much the same as any other wedding makes it easier.
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  • rcher912rcher912 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Hey, congrats on being in your first wedding! I love being a BM, it's lots of fun (usually).

    That said, I want to reiterate what you read on TK - it is not totally necessary to give your friend a gift. You will be spending a pretty penny on being a BM (most likely - dress, if you and the BP decide to host a shower or bach party, maybe you're staying in a hotel for the wedding, etc) - so please remember to consider these costs! I'm only saying because I was caught off-guard in my first wedding by spending so much on these items, that I felt really unable, budget-wise, to get my sister a gift. Which made me feel terrible.

    But in reality, she chose me to be in her BP because she wanted me there. Your friend chose you because your presence there, and participation in her wedding, is very important to her. That's a wonderful sentiment, so just sticking with that really is OK.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I stick to the registry if there is one. One of my bridesmaids didn't have one, so I got them a figurine couple I knew she had her eye on.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Me and my friends actually haven't given each other wedding gifts. We always do OOT bach weekends and someone always has to travel for the wedding, plus the dress, etc. Buying each other a blender just isn't in our purview.



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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    You are safe either way. If there is something off the registry you know they would love go for it. If you are a lost for gift, go with the registry. I hope your experience as a BM is a great one.

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  • MadHops21MadHops21 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    mlg78 Can I have those steaks? Now I'm starving and want steak. 
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
    Funny Awkward animated GIF
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  • mrscomposermrscomposer member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer

    My sister didn't register, so for her shower I bought her an immersion blender, because I love mine and I knew she would too.  For their wedding we gave them cash.

    For our wedding shower, she gave me a gorgeous piece of wall art that she bought and then modified to make it fantastic.  They gave us cash for the wedding.  My other two bridesmaids went together and gave us gift cards for the store we registered at.

    Also, have fun!

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
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