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Rehearsal Dinner Invites?

fitveganfitvegan member
Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Are rehearsal dinner invites necessary? Or does word of mouth suffice? We don't have a whole lot of people that aren't part of the ceremony that are still being invited to the dinner but I just know if there is certain etiquette for rehearsal dinner invites. My future in laws are doing everything for it and I doubt she knows about rehearsal invites and I hate to be the overbearing bride who is telling her she needs to send them, especially because she is forgetful/waits until the last minute and I know I'll have to bug her about it. 
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner Invites?

  • afaber24afaber24 member
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited February 2015
    I don't think they're necessarily mandatory, but they are nice to have.

    They don't need to be anything fancy. Just something printed at home would suffice. 
    My concern with word of mouth is that people will think its very casual and more than you expected might show up at the dinner portion. An invite shows that it's a little more organized and gives everyone something to reference.

    Then you don't have to answer "What time/where is/how do I get to......?" a  million times.

    I vote to send invites, but keep them simple.
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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Also don't forget to extend the invite to SOs of the wedding party if you're doing word of mouth.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    We didn't use printed invitations for the rehearsal dinner.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • SachaBeeSachaBee member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Addendum: Is it okay to have them listed as an insert in the invitation proper?
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2015
    I think that invitations should match the formality of the event. 

    Our rehearsal dinner was well hosted, but not very formal, also did not have a huge guest list. We extended invitations verbally or via e-mail. 

    I wouldn't put the RD invites with the wedding invitation as it is a separate event. 

    If you want to send paper invites, you can probably find something simple and cheap at the dollar store- all the invite needs to list is who, what, where and when. 
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    edited February 2015
    I agree with @SP29‌ about matching invites with the formality. If you're having pizza and beer at your house, sure WOM is fine. But if your ILs are hosting at a restaurant, I think you should do paper invites. Also, paper invites will have an RSVP contact so you know for sure if people are coming versus "OK cool" um, is that a yes or a no?

    Either way, the RD is a separate event and needs its own invite/RSVP outside the wedding invitation.

    ETA: if you're worried about adding to her list of things to do, I would just offer to do this for her.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • SomethingBeautiful08SomethingBeautiful08 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    My ILs hosted our rehearsal dinner at a nearby restaurant in a private room.  They did send out separate paper invites.  They were simple but fit the formality of the event.  I thought it made a lot of sense.  Something less formal or restricted to just though at the rehursal + SOs I wouldn't see the need.
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  • JBee85JBee85 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited February 2015
    lovegood90 said:
    Also don't forget to extend the invite to SOs of the wedding party if you're doing word of mouth.

    Yes, bridal party members who are in relationships must be invited.

    Please take the time to read my past thread that happened to me several months ago when the bride tried to tell me and two other bridesmaids that our SOs not invited, but a couple bridesmaids were allowed to brings their SOs. It was a total WTF MOMENT. I was ENGAGED at the time and I felt disrespected. They tried to use the reason that they could not afford to invite any additional people because the parents of the groom wanted to invite a bunch of other family members WHO WERE NOT APART OF THE REHEARSAL. Then they tried to say that the reason the other bridesmaids were allowed to brings their their was because they came from a far distance. This was inconsistent and unacceptable on how you treat your bridal party. The Bride and I are still barely talking because of this fiasco.

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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    My ILs hosted the rehearsal dinner, but we didn't do formal invitations. We just contacted our respective bridal party members to ask if their SO were attending, since we knew everyone in the bridal party was coming. It wasn't that complicated. 
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  • fitveganfitvegan member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    JBee85 said:
    lovegood90 said:
    Also don't forget to extend the invite to SOs of the wedding party if you're doing word of mouth.

    Yes, bridal party members who are in relationships must be invited.

    Please take the time to read my past thread that happened to me several months ago when the bride tried to tell me and two other bridesmaids that our SOs not invited, but a couple bridesmaids were allowed to brings their SOs. It was a total WTF MOMENT. I was ENGAGED at the time and I felt disrespected. They tried to use the reason that they could not afford to invite any additional people because the parents of the groom wanted to invite a bunch of other family members WHO WERE NOT APART OF THE REHEARSAL. Then they tried to say that the reason the other bridesmaids were allowed to brings their their was because they came from a far distance. This was inconsistent and unacceptable on how you treat your bridal party. The Bride and I are still barely talking because of this fiasco.

    Thanks for advice! SOs will DEFINITELY be invited :) most of our bridal party is married and those that are not, their SOs are coming in from out of town so that would be incredibly rude! Sorry about your situation there!
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  • MikenDanielle2015MikenDanielle2015 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Paper invites are defiantly nice - for the last wedding my fiance was in, we got invited over Facebook. I felt as though that was rude, as she also did it 1 day before the rehersal dinner. She also did not give any of us timing for the day of.
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