Can I make a wedding related vent?

crackktheskyy · February 2015

I'm not really looking for advice, honestly just need to vent really quickly.

I have a bridesmaid, we can call her Mary. Mary has been a little difficult (griping about not being the MOH; trying to get the other BMs to spend money they didn't have; etc.)

As we get closer to the wedding, I feel like I have become less patient with Mary and more overwhelmed.

Mary picked out the BM dress she wanted months ago. She loved it. She hadn't purchased because she hoped to lose weight, but all girls knew to get their dresses before the end of January or they might have to risk rush ordering them. We all chose dresses months ago. I had consulted them each about their budgets individually and privately. We were all good to go.

Mary apparently did not purchase a dress through the retailer. She informed me that she ordered the dress online. Okay, cool, if that's easiest that's fine. She then told me the size. She apparently ordered the dress 6 sizes too small.

I'm sort of just frustrated. I feel like this is going to create an unnecessary issue when it arrives and doesn't fit. I have a feeling it wont fit because...well...six sizes too small is tough for anyone.

I really just don't want to have to worry about all of this. I guess she can just show up in whatever and it will still be fine, right? I know this is a total FWP. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and cranky tonight.

larrygaga · February 2015

crackktheskyy said:

I'm not really looking for advice, honestly just need to vent really quickly.

I have a bridesmaid, we can call her Mary. Mary has been a little difficult (griping about not being the MOH; trying to get the other BMs to spend money they didn't have; etc.)

As we get closer to the wedding, I feel like I have become less patient with Mary and more overwhelmed.

Mary picked out the BM dress she wanted months ago. She loved it. She hadn't purchased because she hoped to lose weight, but all girls knew to get their dresses before the end of January or they might have to risk rush ordering them. We all chose dresses months ago. I had consulted them each about their budgets individually and privately. We were all good to go.

Mary apparently did not purchase a dress through the retailer. She informed me that she ordered the dress online. Okay, cool, if that's easiest that's fine. She then told me the size. She apparently ordered the dress 6 sizes too small.

I'm sort of just frustrated. I feel like this is going to create an unnecessary issue when it arrives and doesn't fit. I have a feeling it wont fit because...well...six sizes too small is tough for anyone.

I really just don't want to have to worry about all of this. I guess she can just show up in whatever and it will still be fine, right? I know this is a total FWP. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and cranky tonight.

damn is she nuts to hope to lose that much that fast? For most of the world 6 sizes is like cutting off your ass cheeks.

I think the general rule is that she is an adult and if she couldn't get into the right dress and to the wedding than she can sit in the pews like everyone else.

Also, if you don't want advice or commentary this is not the place to go.You should vent in your journal because I will not be the only one posting.

I have a super flaky BM who hasn't ordered her dress, and my wedding is in june. I haven't said a single word to her about it. I guess I should, huh.

crackktheskyy · February 2015

larrygaga said:

crackktheskyy said:

I'm not really looking for advice, honestly just need to vent really quickly.

I have a bridesmaid, we can call her Mary. Mary has been a little difficult (griping about not being the MOH; trying to get the other BMs to spend money they didn't have; etc.)

As we get closer to the wedding, I feel like I have become less patient with Mary and more overwhelmed.

Mary picked out the BM dress she wanted months ago. She loved it. She hadn't purchased because she hoped to lose weight, but all girls knew to get their dresses before the end of January or they might have to risk rush ordering them. We all chose dresses months ago. I had consulted them each about their budgets individually and privately. We were all good to go.

Mary apparently did not purchase a dress through the retailer. She informed me that she ordered the dress online. Okay, cool, if that's easiest that's fine. She then told me the size. She apparently ordered the dress 6 sizes too small.

I'm sort of just frustrated. I feel like this is going to create an unnecessary issue when it arrives and doesn't fit. I have a feeling it wont fit because...well...six sizes too small is tough for anyone.

I really just don't want to have to worry about all of this. I guess she can just show up in whatever and it will still be fine, right? I know this is a total FWP. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and cranky tonight.

damn is she nuts to hope to lose that much that fast? I think the general rule is that she is an adult and if she couldn't get into the right dress and to the wedding than she can sit in the pews like everyone else.

Also, if you don't want advice or commentary this is not the place to go.You should vent in your journal because I will not be the only one posting.

I don't know what she's thinking.

I don't mind commentary! When I said I didn't want advice I just meant that I wasn't really looking to have a confrontation with her about it.

She's an adult and should know how to order her own clothes. I don't want to be on her back about it. You know?

crackktheskyy · February 2015

larrygaga said:
I have a super flaky BM who hasn't ordered her dress, and my wedding is in june. I haven't said a single word to her about it. I guess I should, huh.

Hah, just saw the end of your post about your BM that hasn't ordered. That's so tough. I so feel the same about not really wanting to say much.

Like, no one wants to be that jerk.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

Six sizes....jesus that's ambitious. More power to her if she pulls it off though. If she doesn't and she were a very very good friend of mine and I thought I would lose the friendship if she sat in the pews, I'd probably tell her to find something similar to the BM dress and stand up there anyways. I'd still be kinda peeved though.

And yeah, no one wants to be that jerk....but she agreed to be your BM and literally the only thing a BM is "supposed" to do is wear the correct attire and show up on time. Would she appreciate if one of her BMs did this one day?

rcher912 · February 2015

haha, aww, I'm sorry you're frustrated. Your poor, BM, though. That was...optimistic. Best of luck to her, I hope it all works out for you guys (I'm sure it will)!

hellohkb · February 2015

My jaw literally dropped when I read the six sizes part. Holy shit! I'm sorry she's being so difficult. You said you don't want to have a confrontation and I don't blame you. I don't think talking to her would even work.

crackktheskyy · February 2015

jenandtonic81515 said:

Six sizes....jesus that's ambitious. More power to her if she pulls it off though. If she doesn't and she were a very very good friend of mine and I thought I would lose the friendship if she sat in the pews, I'd probably tell her to find something similar to the BM dress and stand up there anyways. I'd still be kinda peeved though.

And yeah, no one wants to be that jerk....but she agreed to be your BM and literally the only thing a BM is "supposed" to do is wear the correct attire and show up on time. Would she appreciate if one of her BMs did this one day?

Yeah, I mean I'm totally supportive of her if she is trying to lose weight in a physically/psychologically safe way. More power to her and I hope she reaches her goal and I really hope she does! As a plus size gal with seriously fluctuating weight at times, I always err on the side of caution still, you know? It's easier to take fabric in than let it out!

And yes, they really only have to show up on the wedding day wearing the dress. I certainly wouldn't want to ruin the friendship over it if she couldn't wear the dress, but I would still be super annoyed.

rcher912 said:

haha, aww, I'm sorry you're frustrated. Your poor, BM, though. That was...optimistic. Best of luck to her, I hope it all works out for you guys (I'm sure it will)!

Me too! I totally understand where she's coming from. She expressed a bit of shock about bridal sizing. I told her all of that stuff runs small! (It's true!) I honestly asked my wedding dress shop not to even tell me my size because they are just so off and who needs that kind of anxiety!? While I know my worth is not synonymous with my dress size, I'd rather just not know. If I feel great in it, it's the perfect size! She looked so pretty in the dress and she really loved it. I hope it works out.

hellohkb said:

My jaw literally dropped when I read the six sizes part. Holy shit! I'm sorry she's being so difficult. You said you don't want to have a confrontation and I don't blame you. I don't think talking to her would even work.

Imagine my jaw dropping when she told me! There isn't much you can say though, you know? Adults can make their own choices. That's not my job to do it for her! She said if it was close to fitting maybe they could alter it. I said she should definitely ask a tailor because that's the best person to answer that question, but it's always easier to bring fabric in than to let it out! Who knows, maybe if it doesn't fit at all she will exchange it and decide to have the dress taken in if she needs to.

MairePoppy · February 2015

I'm sorry I laughed when you said she ordered six sizes too small. Makes me think of an 'I Love Lucy Episode' where Lucy is crash dieting and steaming off pounds in order to fit into a show girl costume.

Your bm made a decision, you should let her and a seamstress figuer out a solution. Sometimes, the backs of dresses can be retrofitted with lace up corset backs. Alterations will probably be expensive.

theartistformerlyknownas · February 2015

That dress will look really nice on her left thigh. I wonder what the rest of her is going to wear.

mikenberger · February 2015

A dress 6 sizes too small??

Man. I wanna live in her land of delusion. Sounds lovely!

rcher912 · February 2015

haha, OP, I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know what size my dress is!!! I bought a sample, and all I know is that it fits me quite well. I really don't want to know what size it is, though. I think it'd upset me!

climbingsingle · February 2015

That is bananas.

STARMOON44 · February 2015

I have a friend who does this all the time. And then a week before the wedding orders the dress overnight rush shipping again or finds it on eBay. It usually kind of works? If she is ever a bridesmaid in my wedding, I plan to just buy her dress in her actual size and keep it in reserve. I feel like we all bring a bit of crazy to our closest relationships, this is hers, so I'm just gonna have a solution.

anjemon · February 2015

Oh man. Good luck to your bridesmaid.

I did that once for my sister's wedding. I ordered my dress about 2 sizes down because I had been losing weight and I hate the extra cost for plus sizes. And of course I didn't lose as much as I hoped. It ended up working out, with one of those cincher things the dress fit. But I would have been screwed if I had needed a seamstress to let it out. There was no extra fabric in the dress. Not my smartest decision and it cost me a lot of stress worry about how it would fit.

huskypuppy14 · February 2015

Is it like she really is a 12 and ordered a 6, or she's really a 12 and ordered a 0? That's a big difference. I wear about an 8 or a 10, but I could squeeze into a 4 if I had to.

Inkdancer · February 2015

huskypuppy14 said:

Is it like she really is a 12 and ordered a 6, or she's really a 12 and ordered a 0? That's a big difference. I wear about an 8 or a 10, but I could squeeze into a 4 if I had to.

This totally depends on your body type, too. I usually wear a 20-22, and could not squish down to a 16 or 18 because my boobs would just pop right out.

crackktheskyy · February 2015

MairePoppy said:

I'm sorry I laughed when you said she ordered six sizes too small. Makes me think of an 'I Love Lucy Episode' where Lucy is crash dieting and steaming off pounds in order to fit into a show girl costume.
Your bm made a decision, you should let her and a seamstress figuer out a solution. Sometimes, the backs of dresses can be retrofitted with lace up corset backs. Alterations will probably be expensive.

That's great about the I Love Lucy episode!! The dress is not strapless, so who knows.

Not my monkeys not my circus, right?

rcher912 said:

haha, OP, I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know what size my dress is!!! I bought a sample, and all I know is that it fits me quite well. I really don't want to know what size it is, though. I think it'd upset me!

For real, they shouldn't even sow those tags into the backs!

STARMOON44 said:

I have a friend who does this all the time. And then a week before the wedding orders the dress overnight rush shipping again or finds it on eBay. It usually kind of works? If she is ever a bridesmaid in my wedding, I plan to just buy her dress in her actual size and keep it in reserve. I feel like we all bring a bit of crazy to our closest relationships, this is hers, so I'm just gonna have a solution.

It's good to know I'm not the only one!

anjemon said:

Oh man. Good luck to your bridesmaid.

I did that once for my sister's wedding. I ordered my dress about 2 sizes down because I had been losing weight and I hate the extra cost for plus sizes. And of course I didn't lose as much as I hoped. It ended up working out, with one of those cincher things the dress fit. But I would have been screwed if I had needed a seamstress to let it out. There was no extra fabric in the dress. Not my smartest decision and it cost me a lot of stress worry about how it would fit.

I'm glad it worked out!! All is well that ends well, right?

huskypuppy14 said:

Is it like she really is a 12 and ordered a 6, or she's really a 12 and ordered a 0? That's a big difference. I wear about an 8 or a 10, but I could squeeze into a 4 if I had to.

6 sizes -- not 12! It would be as if she's a 12 and ordered a 6. She's very busty though, so I'm sure that when it comes to sizing, the part of her that's biggest to be measured is her bust. The dress might fit her in other places.

crackktheskyy · February 2015

Inkdancer said:
huskypuppy14 said:
Is it like she really is a 12 and ordered a 6, or she's really a 12 and ordered a 0? That's a big difference. I wear about an 8 or a 10, but I could squeeze into a 4 if I had to.
This totally depends on your body type, too. I usually wear a 20-22, and could not squish down to a 16 or 18 because my boobs would just pop right out.

Her size is very similar to yours, and she's busty so I think that's gonna be her biggest difficulty. I'm incredibly busty so I know what that's like. One size down and I'm one exhalation away from a wardrobe malfunction of Britney Spears magnitude. The struggle is real.

theartistformerlyknownas · February 2015

crackktheskyy said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Is it like she really is a 12 and ordered a 6, or she's really a 12 and ordered a 0? That's a big difference. I wear about an 8 or a 10, but I could squeeze into a 4 if I had to.

6 sizes -- not 12! It would be as if she's a 12 and ordered a 6. She's very busty though, so I'm sure that when it comes to sizing, the part of her that's biggest to be measured is her bust. The dress might fit her in other places.

Boxes?

That's really only 3 sizes then, since women's sizing goes just in even numbers.

That's not quite so bad!

crackktheskyy · February 2015

lolo883 said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Is it like she really is a 12 and ordered a 6, or she's really a 12 and ordered a 0? That's a big difference. I wear about an 8 or a 10, but I could squeeze into a 4 if I had to.

6 sizes -- not 12! It would be as if she's a 12 and ordered a 6. She's very busty though, so I'm sure that when it comes to sizing, the part of her that's biggest to be measured is her bust. The dress might fit her in other places.
Boxes? That's really only 3 sizes then, since women's sizing goes just in even numbers. That's not quite so bad!

I feel like SUCH an idiot haha but that actually makes me feel much better.

I just know that I couldn't squeeze into something with that much of a size difference, but maybe she will be okay!! It's the difference between like a size 20 and a size 14 for her, I think.

charcoalandblush · February 2015

STARMOON44 said:

I have a friend who does this all the time. And then a week before the wedding orders the dress overnight rush shipping again or finds it on eBay. It usually kind of works? If she is ever a bridesmaid in my wedding, I plan to just buy her dress in her actual size and keep it in reserve. I feel like we all bring a bit of crazy to our closest relationships, this is hers, so I'm just gonna have a solution.

I have a friend who does this too!!! The last wedding she was in she ordered it two sizes too small (i think she ordered a 12 when at the time she was a size 16, not 6 sizes, but still) and as far as I know, she didn't lose an ounce. She had to buy it and get it rushed to her a couple of weeks before the wedding.

I ordered my bridal gown 1/2 size too small, sort of... I was between sizes on the measurement chart and ordered the smaller one. But I've already lost 5lbs and my first fitting isn't until March, so I'm not super concerned. The size I ordered was the sample size and it fit fine.

Can I make a wedding related vent?

Re: Can I make a wedding related vent?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards