Not Engaged Yet

Wedding fever!! ugh!

BF and I are not engaged -not even talking about getting engaged soon- but we have been to three weddings in the last two months and we both have wedding fever! It's so ridiculous because we know the wedding is a long (looooong) way off, but we can't help but talk about it and share ideas! No matter what we are doing or where we are, somehow the conversation gets back to a wedding.

Has anyone else gone through this? Is this normal?

Re: Wedding fever!! ugh!

  • labrolabro Hotlanta member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    BF and I are not engaged -not even talking about getting engaged soon- but we have been to three weddings in the last two months and we both have wedding fever! It's so ridiculous because we know the wedding is a long (looooong) way off, but we can't help but talk about it and share ideas! No matter what we are doing or where we are, somehow the conversation gets back to a wedding.

    Has anyone else gone through this? Is this normal?

    I  mean, I think it's normal if you look at it in the sense that you've been to a lot of weddings in a relatively short period of time so obviously it would be a huge topic of conversation. BUT beyond that I agree with everything @Swazzle said. I never seriously got in to the whole "This is what I want to do/this is my dream wedding" until I was actually engaged. Try to back off from the whole wedding planning because as you said, you're a long ways away from getting engaged. Your tastes and ideas will change significantly between then and now. Now that you are through all these weddings work to get back to normal life. Maybe you and your BF should start a new hobby together to distract you. 



    Swazzle
  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    For us, if we went to a wedding we might say 'let's not do X when we get married' or 'Y was a really good idea, we should remember it for our wedding'.  Also I like to watch SYTTD (I still watch it) and sometimes H would walk by and make a comment about not liking a dress style.  Other than that, we really didn't talk about our wedding much until after we got engaged.  When we first got engaged we were thinking the rustic/barn wedding but then started thinking about it and getting numbers of guests and we got overwhelmed quick and decided neither one of us liked being the center of attention and opted for an intimate - immediate family only wedding.


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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We don't talk about it much. It does come up more if a friend is getting married though. So I don't think it's totally unusual for you and your BF to talk about wedding stuff since you've been to so many in such a short period of time. And it's fine to have fun, causal conversations about it. Just don't get carried away and get obsessive about it, especially if you and your BF aren't even talking about getting engaged.


  • I think it's probably normal, but easy to fly off the deep end. I've done it, and going wild wedding researching is habit forming and will make the process feel passe when it's time to actually do it, not to mention the toll it takes on you right now - you have trouble enjoying the "now" when you're thinking about the wedding all the time. The ladies on this board have a lot to say about people who go BSC about it and that's probably because they either did it or saw what happens when people do it, and they're right. It's fun for a while to go crazy with wedding stuff, but when the joy wears off, how fun will the actual engagement be?

    I admit to being a crazypants. It ain't all roses. The Knotties are very right on this one.
  • Are yall talking about it a lot because you're bringing it up or because you both are bringing it up because I dont know very many men that just love talking about weddings when they have no intention of getting married soon. It seems like YOU may be a little wedding crazy and are pushing it off on bf. Weddings are only beautiful when its a beautiful union. So focus on your union and the wedding will come.
  • A few examples:

    At the last wedding we were at, there were only light finger foods, even though the wedding was set at 5:30 pm. The invite did not say anything about what food would be served, so many people assumed some sort of dinner because of the time. BF said "When we have our wedding, there will be REAL food!!"

    While watching tv (a wedding episode), the husband to be saw the wife before the ceremony. BF said "there is NO WAY I am seeing you beforehand."

    While browsing the "everything" board on Pinterest, I saw a pretty bouquet, and showed it to BF and asked his opinion.

    Stuff like this also pops up while we are out with friends (who are planning weddings) or when we go walking around the mall (where there are bridal shops). Or even randomly over dinner, I will ask things like "what do you think of outdoor weddings?" or BF will say "would you ever want to get married out of town?"

    It's not serious planning, but it gets brought up a lot, and I was just wondering how common that is.

  • edited February 2015
    Swazzle said:
    Are yall talking about it a lot because you're bringing it up or because you both are bringing it up because I dont know very many men that just love talking about weddings when they have no intention of getting married soon. It seems like YOU may be a little wedding crazy and are pushing it off on bf. Weddings are only beautiful when its a beautiful union. So focus on your union and the wedding will come.



    What about the OP screams that she's the only wedding-crazy one? Is it where she says, "we both have wedding fever"? Or maybe it's where she says, "we can't help but talk about it and share ideas"? 


    Edited because the quote box disappeared.

    No no no! Nothing about OP screams that its just her. I was just saying to make sure that it truly is both of them talking and not just her bringing it up and him politely going along with the conversation. I wanted her to make sure that her perception of the situation is accurate bcuz I dont know very many guys that just love to talk wedding. Her BF may very well be different, idk him. I was just suggesting self reflection thats all. Not saying that she's wedding crazy alone.
  • A few examples:

    At the last wedding we were at, there were only light finger foods, even though the wedding was set at 5:30 pm. The invite did not say anything about what food would be served, so many people assumed some sort of dinner because of the time. BF said "When we have our wedding, there will be REAL food!!"

    While watching tv (a wedding episode), the husband to be saw the wife before the ceremony. BF said "there is NO WAY I am seeing you beforehand."

    While browsing the "everything" board on Pinterest, I saw a pretty bouquet, and showed it to BF and asked his opinion.

    Stuff like this also pops up while we are out with friends (who are planning weddings) or when we go walking around the mall (where there are bridal shops). Or even randomly over dinner, I will ask things like "what do you think of outdoor weddings?" or BF will say "would you ever want to get married out of town?"

    It's not serious planning, but it gets brought up a lot, and I was just wondering how common that is.

    My bf and I have said the same things in those situations.  I don't consider it as planning, but more of sharing ideas. Like the food situation, you're not planning the type of food you will have at your wedding, just stating "I don't like being hungry and will make sure when I host a party my guests are never hungry."
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  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2015
    Are yall talking about it a lot because you're bringing it up or because you both are bringing it up because I dont know very many men that just love talking about weddings when they have no intention of getting married soon. It seems like YOU may be a little wedding crazy and are pushing it off on bf. Weddings are only beautiful when its a beautiful union. So focus on your union and the wedding will come.
    What about the OP screams that she's the only wedding crazy one? Is it where she says 
    Swazzle said:
    Are yall talking about it a lot because you're bringing it up or because you both are bringing it up because I dont know very many men that just love talking about weddings when they have no intention of getting married soon. It seems like YOU may be a little wedding crazy and are pushing it off on bf. Weddings are only beautiful when its a beautiful union. So focus on your union and the wedding will come.



    What about the OP screams that she's the only wedding-crazy one? Is it where she says, "we both have wedding fever"? Or maybe it's where she says, "we can't help but talk about it and share ideas"? 


    Edited because the quote box disappeared.

    No no no! Nothing about OP screams that its just her. I was just saying to make sure that it truly is both of them talking and not just her bringing it up and him politely going along with the conversation. I wanted her to make sure that her perception of the situation is accurate bcuz I dont know very many guys that just love to talk wedding. Her BF may very well be different, idk him. I was just suggesting self reflection thats all. Not saying that she's wedding crazy alone.



    Your exact words were: "It seems like YOU may be a little wedding crazy and are pushing it off on bf" so it definitely sounds like you're saying she's wedding crazy alone to me.



    speakeasy14labrobeanbot2002LabLove86
  • edited February 2015

    A few examples:

    At the last wedding we were at, there were only light finger foods, even though the wedding was set at 5:30 pm. The invite did not say anything about what food would be served, so many people assumed some sort of dinner because of the time. BF said "When we have our wedding, there will be REAL food!!"

    While watching tv (a wedding episode), the husband to be saw the wife before the ceremony. BF said "there is NO WAY I am seeing you beforehand."

    While browsing the "everything" board on Pinterest, I saw a pretty bouquet, and showed it to BF and asked his opinion.

    Stuff like this also pops up while we are out with friends (who are planning weddings) or when we go walking around the mall (where there are bridal shops). Or even randomly over dinner, I will ask things like "what do you think of outdoor weddings?" or BF will say "would you ever want to get married out of town?"

    It's not serious planning, but it gets brought up a lot, and I was just wondering how common that is.

    Yea this looks just like regular conversation. I wasnt trying to say you were wedding crazy alone. I just know a lot of my friends that are wedding crazy bring up weddings to their bfs and take that as "we are talking about weddings" when its really just them talking and bf listening. That doesnt seem to be you at all though
  • I wasn't excited until I got engaged, and then my eyes lit up! I have really enjoyed wedding planning so far.. for the most part. I could have gone without some of the stress that is associated with planning.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


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