Moms and Maids

XP MIA Bridesmaid

libride2015libride2015
Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
member
edited February 2015 in Moms and Maids
Does anyone else have a flakey bridesmaid? I love her to death - but lately she has been SO FLAKEY - one minute she is so into the bridesmaid stuff and the next, I cant get a hold of her for the life of me. 

This saturday we are all supposed to go look at bridesmaid dresses - I texted her yesterday with no response, I texted her again today - no response... yet I check her social media accounts and shes active.. tweeting her heart out. 

I dont want to sound needy or rude, I am not asking of much of them at all - just be my girls and stand up with me that day - shes one of my best friends and I love her to pieces but its making me nervous that she isnt getting back to me about this weekend when we had planned it over a month ago.

Am I being paranoid? One of my other BMs said, "so if she doesnt come she doesnt come, shes then stuck with whatever dress we find"... but thats not the point, I just dont know why she isnt communicating with me. 

We havent had a falling out, I couldnt have said anything to agitate her, because again - I really havent asked for anything from her - just to be there that day. 

Am I crazy? 

Re: XP MIA Bridesmaid

  • Does anyone else have a flakey bridesmaid? I love her to death - but lately she has been SO FLAKEY - one minute she is so into the bridesmaid stuff and the next, I cant get a hold of her for the life of me. 

    This saturday we are all supposed to go look at bridesmaid dresses - I texted her yesterday with no response, I texted her again today - no response... yet I check her social media accounts and shes active.. tweeting her heart out. 

    I dont want to sound needy or rude, I am not asking of much of them at all - just be my girls and stand up with me that day - shes one of my best friends and I love her to pieces but its making me nervous that she isnt getting back to me about this weekend when we had planned it over a month ago.

    Am I being paranoid? One of my other BMs said, "so if she doesnt come she doesnt come, shes then stuck with whatever dress we find"... but thats not the point, I just dont know why she isnt communicating with me. 

    We havent had a falling out, I couldnt have said anything to agitate her, because again - I really havent asked for anything from her - just to be there that day. 

    Am I crazy? 
    Weddings do not happen the way they do in movies. She does not have to go with the group to pick out dresses. If you're letting them pick anyway, give them a color and length and just back off. If you want matching dresses, ask each one their budget privately and pick a dress that is under the smallest number any of them gave. This does not require a freaking committee.

    Also, I can understand why she'd ignore you if all of your communications revolve around your wedding. Presumably she's your friend first, bridesmaid second. You would do well to remember that and, you know, talk to her like a friend instead of sending a million reminders about bridesmaid crap.
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    esstee33[Deleted User]
  • rcher912rcher912 Philadelphia
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    I think you're okay. I get why you're concerned, but you don't have to be. It'd be nice if she'd be there to look at dresses, but you did your best to communicate the timing and check with her, and she chose not to.

    She might be busy, she might be really stressed, who knows. I've missed a ton of BM-related things, but the important thing is I got the dress and made it to the day and was there to watch/support my friend in her marriage :)
    libride2015
  • Thanks @rcher912 that makes me feel better. I appreciate it<3  Just frustrating!! xo
  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia)
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    Have you tried talking to her about non-wedding related things? It could be something is going on in her life, or she's just simply sick of hearing about wedding stuff. Hard to hear, but true.

    I've been a bridesmaid many times before.One bride who used to text or phone me about life in general and the little things that were happening and jobs and my life etc, started only texting me when she had something wedding related to share. It got old fast. She was very dear to me but I have to admit when i would get a wedding related text from her and I was having a bad day, it wasn't as high as a priority for me to answer immediately. I missed my friend who could tell something was wrong and would ask me how my day was going.

    I'm not saying that this is what you are doing, but its just an opinion from someone thats been on the other end. Text her about something completely unrelated to the wedding, about something in her life. Start there. Then move into asking her about the dress shopping and re-iterating how special she is to you and thats why you want her there.


    She also doesnt necessarily need to be at the dress shopping, as nice as it would be for everyone to be there. Heck i wasn't even at my bridesmaids dress shopping as I live far away from them. I told them colour and fabric, 2 of them went together and both loved the same dress. We sent a pic to the other out of town Bridesmaids and she loved it so they ordered. 
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    libride2015
  • If you post a thread on multiple boards, you should put XP in the discussion title. It helps people not respond to you twice.

    I responded to you on the wedding party board.
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