Long Distance Newlyweds

Knottie82398339 · February 2015

Hi ladies!

I am a law student and my fiancé is a young electrician so naturally, our wedding is happening on a budget. As an aspiring attorney, I truly value social justice and want to spend my career fighting for it. Wonderfully enough, I have been offered an internship for this summer with the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) to work on their Capital Punishment Project in Durham, NC!!! I'm super excited!

The catch, however, is this: My fiancé and I live in St. Louis, MO. We get married on May 16, 2015. My internship begins on June 1, 2015. That gives my soon-to-be husband and I about 2 or 3 solid weeks together as a married couple before I leave for the summer. :-/

We're looking for help raising enough money for us to visit each other on the weekends.

If any of you could be of any assistance, it would be greatly appreciated! We're just young and in love and trying to change the world together. PLEASE HELP!!!

-KHud, Bride

-link removed by moderator-

[Deleted User] · February 2015

Ok, I was hoping this was a joke, but after visiting the page, it doesn't look like it. So here goes: I really don't know you and as I am preparing to be a long-distance newlywed as well, I empathize.

However,

It really isn't appropriate to post this here. TK community does not take kindly to gofundme-type accounts. And here is why: asking for others to finance your life choices is never ever ever acceptable. You and your fiance are adults, no? You both are adult enough to make the decisions to pursue grown-up career choices and law degrees and internships, and you both are adult enough to make the decision to get married.

Asking people to pay for these decisions is very un-adult like. Why should other people fund your long-distance relationship?

I don't mean that rhetorically. Seriously, give it some thought. What good reason is there for someone to pay for your trips to see each other with their hard earned money? Furthermore, do you and your FI really want to start a life together as man and wife while depending on others for money? Be an adult and pay for your own life decisions.

I get it. Long distance sucks. I have done east coast-west coast long distance with my FI for two years now. Our first year of marriage, we will be a nine hour drive apart. And I understand, traveling to see each other is expensive. But it is worth every penny of our own money that we've used to make that happen. If you and your FI can't afford to visit each other as often as you would like, get creative. Skype dates can be a lot of fun. Watch the same movie together at the same time and text each other about it as you're watching. Send fun care packages to one another. I promise you, there are so many ways to make it suck less without begging other people for money. Which is exactly what asking for donations on gofundme is.

If it is an issue of spending that time a part as newlyweds, wait until you are done with our internship to get married.

I am strongly advising you to re-think this gofundme. Your friends and family may never say anything to your face about it, but it is super rude and tacky to ask for money like this.

Otherwise, I wish you and your FI luck with the long-distance, Just remember, it is not forever.

Edit for clarification

fwtx5815 · February 2015

I am embarrassed for you. I can't believe you're asking Internet strangers to give you money so that you can live with the consequences of the decisions you and your fiancé made. As bad is this is, I REALLY, SERIOUSLY hope you aren't asking people you know in real life to give you money.

You and your relationship are not a charity.

floridabride44 · February 2015

Knottie82398339 said:

Hi ladies!
I am a law student and my fiancé is a young electrician so naturally, our wedding is happening on a budget. As an aspiring attorney, I truly value social justice and want to spend my career fighting for it. Wonderfully enough, I have been offered an internship for this summer with the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) to work on their Capital Punishment Project in Durham, NC!!! I'm super excited!
The catch, however, is this: My fiancé and I live in St. Louis, MO. We get married on May 16, 2015. My internship begins on June 1, 2015. That gives my soon-to-be husband and I about 2 or 3 solid weeks together as a married couple before I leave for the summer. :-/
We're looking for help raising enough money for us to visit each other on the weekends.
If any of you could be of any assistance, it would be greatly appreciated! We're just young and in love and trying to change the world together. PLEASE HELP!!!
-KHud, Bride
Edited to remove link

JIC

I want to be nice but...

We all need money. I've been doing long distance with my FI since September. We see each other once every 3-4 weeks, because that's what we can afford. I suggest doing what you can afford and not begging for money. I feel your pain, long distance is hard... but begging for money online is not the answer, especially not on TK where most posters particularly despise rude, tacky attempts at cash grabbing.

ShesSoCold · February 2015

Not only is this disgusting, but it's incredibly stupid. In about 15 seconds I found your Facebook page, your fiance's Facebook page, his employer and where he goes to school. You've told countless internet strangers where you live, where to go to school and exactly what to plan to do and where you plan to go. How did you think this would be a good idea? Edited because you don't have a France. Edited again because I hope my manatee hugging friend comes here to put your shit into perspective.

AddieCake · February 2015

My husband is gone for work for 2-3 months at a time. We can't afford for me to go visit him on weekends, either. Guess how we handle it? We suck it the fuck up and pay for our own lives.

CMGragain · February 2015

There are thousands of military couples who are separated for far longer than you will be. How is it that you rate higher than they do?

beethery · February 2015

Posts soliciting money are not allowed on these boards, so I removed the link.

My cousin went to vet school outside of the US while her new husband was in boot camp in Arkansas. They got their own stuff together and figured it out like grownups.

manateehugger · February 2015

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you that you think this is an ok thing to do?

My husband is active duty military. Before we got married, we spent three years as a long distance couple so I could finish graduate school, and he spent a chunk of that time in freaking Afghanistan.

Oh, and guess what, we are STILL long distance because I can't get a decent job offer where he is stationed. I have a dream job right now, yet I spent most evenings applying to jobs near him. Talk about tough and demoralizing. And the Army gives nonefucks about our long distance status. Oh ,and later this year he is going to Afghanistan for nine months AGAIN.

But we fucking save and live modestly so we can manage to go see each other. That's fucking life and that's what fucking adults do - save for the things that are important. I don't go to happy hours with my friends so I can go see my husband. I have given up some of my hobbies so I can go see my husband. I desperately save up PTO so I can go see my husband. I live in a crappy tiny apartment so I can go see my husband.

Seriously, you should be so ashamed of yourself. I find it so ironic that you're doing an ACLU internship. You apparently wish to dedicate your life to protecting others, yet see no problem with begging money off strangers to fix your first world problem of having a great opportunity. Grow the hell up. This is disgusting.

ETA: I'm also annoyed that you're from my hometown - this post is such a bad representation of STL.

.defunct635833965868395700 · February 2015

manateehugger said:
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you that you think this is an ok thing to do?
My husband is active duty military. Before we got married, we spent three years as a long distance couple so I could finish graduate school, and he spent a chunk of that time in freaking Afghanistan.
Oh, and guess what, we are STILL long distance because I can't get a decent job offer where he is stationed. I have a dream job right now, yet I spent most evenings applying to jobs near him. Talk about tough and demoralizing. And the Army gives nonefucks about our long distance status. Oh ,and later this year he is going to Afghanistan for nine months AGAIN.
But we fucking save and live modestly so we can manage to go see each other. That's fucking life and that's what fucking adults do - save for the things that are important. I don't go to happy hours with my friends so I can go see my husband. I have given up some of my hobbies so I can go see my husband. I desperately save up PTO so I can go see my husband. I live in a crappy tiny apartment so I can go see my husband.
Seriously, you should be so ashamed of yourself. I find it so ironic that you're doing an ACLU internship. You apparently wish to dedicate your life to protecting others, yet see no problem with begging money off strangers to fix your first world problem of having a great opportunity. Grow the hell up. This is disgusting.
ETA: I'm also annoyed that you're from my hometown - this post is such a bad representation of STL.

I'm also from STL and when I first started reading, I was like, cool, another STL bride. And then I kept reading... And was horrified. Fwiw, no gofundme/honeyfund/cash bar tacky shit will be done by this STL bride.

Dreamergirl8812 · February 2015

Wow. There's a trophy that should be awarded to OP. I'm just not sure what it is.

mikenberger · February 2015

You're fucking kidding me. Adults get married. Adults pay for their own stuff and don't solicit strangers from the Internet.

You are clearly not an adult. Whoever told you this was a good idea, you should punch them in the face. And if you thought it was a good idea... Well if the shoe fits.

Young and in love and trying to change the world. *yawn* gonna need something far better than that to inspire my wallet.

ElcaB · February 2015

mikenberger · February 2015

I really wish I could've seen her gofundme.com page though. Just for my own personal amusement.

ShesSoCold · February 2015

manateehugger said:

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you that you think this is an ok thing to do?
My husband is active duty military. Before we got married, we spent three years as a long distance couple so I could finish graduate school, and he spent a chunk of that time in freaking Afghanistan.
Oh, and guess what, we are STILL long distance because I can't get a decent job offer where he is stationed. I have a dream job right now, yet I spent most evenings applying to jobs near him. Talk about tough and demoralizing. And the Army gives nonefucks about our long distance status. Oh ,and later this year he is going to Afghanistan for nine months AGAIN.
But we fucking save and live modestly so we can manage to go see each other. That's fucking life and that's what fucking adults do - save for the things that are important. I don't go to happy hours with my friends so I can go see my husband. I have given up some of my hobbies so I can go see my husband. I desperately save up PTO so I can go see my husband. I live in a crappy tiny apartment so I can go see my husband.
Seriously, you should be so ashamed of yourself. I find it so ironic that you're doing an ACLU internship. You apparently wish to dedicate your life to protecting others, yet see no problem with begging money off strangers to fix your first world problem of having a great opportunity. Grow the hell up. This is disgusting.
ETA: I'm also annoyed that you're from my hometown - this post is such a bad representation of STL.

levioosa · February 2015

Hahahahaha, oh wait. You're serious.

You're a fucking adult. Pay for your own wedding. If you're this entitled about a wedding, I'm not sure how well you'll do in the social justice field.

flantastic · February 2015

Knottie82398339 said:

Hi ladies!
I am a law student and my fiancé is a young electrician so naturally, our wedding is happening on a budget. As an aspiring attorney, I truly value social justice and want to spend my career fighting for it. Wonderfully enough, I have been offered an internship for this summer with the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) to work on their Capital Punishment Project in Durham, NC!!! I'm super excited!
The catch, however, is this: My fiancé and I live in St. Louis, MO. We get married on May 16, 2015. My internship begins on June 1, 2015. That gives my soon-to-be husband and I about 2 or 3 solid weeks together as a married couple before I leave for the summer. :-/
We're looking for help raising enough money for us to visit each other on the weekends.
If any of you could be of any assistance, it would be greatly appreciated! We're just young and in love and trying to change the world together. PLEASE HELP!!!
-KHud, Bride
-link removed by moderator-

Sorry, girl. You made the decision you did. Will it suck? Sure? Will it be worth it? Hopefully. But it's not anyone else's problem to fix.

ShesSoCold · February 2015

The (almost) grossest part is that OP will probably never be back. She probably posted this on 15 sites and only cares if people give their money to her. She will never know and never care that she made a complete ass of herself.

Viczaesar · February 2015

Knottie82398339 said:

Hi ladies!
I am a law student and my fiancé is a young electrician so naturally, our wedding is happening on a budget. As an aspiring attorney, I truly value social justice and want to spend my career fighting for it. Wonderfully enough, I have been offered an internship for this summer with the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) to work on their Capital Punishment Project in Durham, NC!!! I'm super excited!
The catch, however, is this: My fiancé and I live in St. Louis, MO. We get married on May 16, 2015. My internship begins on June 1, 2015. That gives my soon-to-be husband and I about 2 or 3 solid weeks together as a married couple before I leave for the summer. :-/
We're looking for help raising enough money for us to visit each other on the weekends.
If any of you could be of any assistance, it would be greatly appreciated! We're just young and in love and trying to change the world together. PLEASE HELP!!!
-KHud, Bride
-link removed by moderator-

The fuck? You're panhandling for money on a wedding site? Because you can't stand to be apart for a summer but aren't willing or able to pay to fly back and forth on the weekends? You should be ashamed of yourselves.

beethery · February 2015

ShesSoCold said:

The (almost) grossest part is that OP will probably never be back. She probably posted this on 15 sites and only cares if people give their money to her. She will never know and never care that she made a complete ass of herself.

I almost guarantee that's exactly what happened.

.defunct635833965868395700 · February 2015

beethery said:

ShesSoCold said:

The (almost) grossest part is that OP will probably never be back. She probably posted this on 15 sites and only cares if people give their money to her. She will never know and never care that she made a complete ass of herself.

I almost guarantee that's exactly what happened.

But on the bright side, not a single person on any of the sites she posted this gave her a dime.

tcnoble · February 2015

Is this real life???

Whenever I see one of these posts (which is one too many in the last week) I want to post that "HELP ME, I'M POOR" gif from bridesmaids. But my work computer won't allow it. So if someone else could do it for me...

climbingsingle · February 2015

Holy fucking shit.

levioosa · February 2015

@tcnoble

Kahlyla · February 2015

A summer? Really?

I mean, no matter the length of time, still inappropriate as fuck.

But...

...

Really? ONE FUCKING SUMMER?!

tcnoble · February 2015

levioosa said:

@tcnoble

YESSSSSS thank you

theartistformerlyknownas · February 2015

Absolutely disgusting.

esstee33 · February 2015

The thing that absolutely kills me about this, beyond how disgusting and inappropriate it is, is that it's posted on Budget Weddings. Like, the forum for brides who already can't fucking afford a big shindig and probably don't have extra funds to spare for your idiotic pity party. FUCKING REALLY?

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