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Destination Wedding

deezsgirldeezsgirl member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Can you tell me who would be responsible to pay for the MOH flight and room for a destination wedding? 
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Re: Destination Wedding

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    She is responsible for it. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    deezsgirldeezsgirl member
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    she the bride or she the MOH
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    redoryxredoryx member
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    MOH
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    msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
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    The MOH, as well as every other guest, pays their own way for a destination wedding.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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    antotoantoto member
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    Definitely, definitely the MOH - unless there was some sort of condition set prior like:

    "Will you be my MOH?"
    "Sorry, I can't afford that"
    "I will help you out"
    "Okay"

    That is the only situation I would assume the bride is responsible.
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Anyone who is a guest at a DW is responsible for their own transportation to it and their own lodging once they're there. This includes the MOH.
    *********************************************************************************

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    levioosalevioosa member
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    Guests and WP are all responsible for their own travel and lodging costs.  If, as the B & G, you have the budget to help out with the costs of your wedding party/VIPs, then fantastic, but it's absolutely not required.  DWs can be seen as selfish because of the cost to attend them, but they're not against etiquette. 


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    auriannaaurianna member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2015
    It's the MoH's responsibility to pay for her travel and room, assuming the following are true:

    1. Bride isn't requiring her to stay at a specific hotel. If she finds a better deal elsewhere and wants to take it, she should be able to without any trouble (if her staying where the bride is is important to bride, I'd suggest offering to pay the difference for her, though she could still decline)

    2. Bride isn't requiring her to stay for longer than she wants to / can afford. As long as she makes it to the wedding ceremony, she's good.


    Also, if she decides that she just can't afford to attend the wedding, the bride should be understanding since destination weddings are a large financial burden to some guests. The MoH should not be guilted for not attending. But at the same time, the couple shouldn't feel guilty for not paying for her if they can't / don't want to.
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    deezsgirldeezsgirl member
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    thanks Ladies!! 
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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
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    deezsgirl said:
    Can you tell me who would be responsible to pay for the MOH flight and room for a destination wedding? 
    I'm dying to hear the back story.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    The MOH is...However, to be fair it would be nice when the bride asks her friend to be MOH to have the pricing information available for travel & hotel available and give her time to determine if she can afford that along with a dress. Because as women, even if you tell her to pick something out of her closet, she's going to want to get a special dress for the occasion, even if it's a new LBD she can wear again.
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    auriannaaurianna member
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    Erikan73 said:
    The MOH is...However, to be fair it would be nice when the bride asks her friend to be MOH to have the pricing information available for travel & hotel available and give her time to determine if she can afford that along with a dress. Because as women, even if you tell her to pick something out of her closet, she's going to want to get a special dress for the occasion, even if it's a new LBD she can wear again.
    Yes... I had a friend, A, who was asked to be a BM at one of her good friend, C's, weddings. And A was thrilled and said yes.
    Then later C decided she was having a destination wedding that would end up costing A roughly $1200 to attend. As A was also recently engaged with her own wedding to pay for and she and FI were paying two mortgages until they could sell her condo, she just couldn't go.

    When A told C she couldn't go to her wedding, C was not very understanding and some words were said. The two rarely talk anymore.

    So... when it comes to destination weddings, it's best that a potential wedding party member is apprised of the whole situation very early on and that no pressure is put on them in any way.

    A bride and groom have every right to have a destination wedding. But they have to be good friends and understand that not everyone can or wants to spend a significant amount of time and money to attend it.
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