Hilarious coworker things (NWR)

Inkdancer · February 2015

Since it's easy to bitch about the people we work with, I thought I'd start a thread about funny things our coworkers do instead.

I just got a message from a coworker asking people to date their food items, because she is cleaning the refrigerator this week. Except, she kept abbreviating it "frig" and I laughed like a child. "Frig" is a different thing than "fridge".

I also used to have a coworker at a doctor's office who couldn't figure out why we kept asking her to only label appointments as either a followup (fu) or a checkup (ck up) and not both (fu/ck up).

What do your coworkers do that makes you laugh?

southernbelle0915 · February 2015

At my old job, there was an admin who was the most dramatic person I've ever met. Ever. Yes, even compared to some of the SS here.

She was responsible for getting the CEO's newspaper every morning. One day, there was a hole in the bag and it had rained. The newspaper was soaked. Instead of walking around the corner and buying another one, she was crying, running around, and mobilizing people like it was a fire drill as she tried to separate each page and dry them out. Asking if she could use people's cube/office space to spread out the wet pages. When someone told her know, she broke. Sobbing, "DOESN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS?!?! THIS IS OUR CEO. HE WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!"

levioosa · February 2015

Inkdancer said:

Since it's easy to bitch about the people we work with, I thought I'd start a thread about funny things our coworkers do instead.

I just got a message from a coworker asking people to date their food items, because she is cleaning the refrigerator this week. Except, she kept abbreviating it "frig" and I laughed like a child. "Frig" is a different thing than "fridge".

I also used to have a coworker at a doctor's office who couldn't figure out why we kept asking her to only label appointments as either a followup (fu) or a checkup (ck up) and not both (fu/ck up).

What do your coworkers do that makes you laugh?

To the bolded, I honestly don't know if I would have asked her to stop doing that. It would have brought too much joy to my life to ask her to stop.

littlepep · February 2015

This was a real email chain with a coworker once:

Her: Hi lilpep, can you convert this to a PDF?

Me: *opens email with a PDF attached* It is a PDF. I don’t understand what you are asking for.

Her: Did you open it? It has a column to the right…not a PDF only with no options.

Me: Yes, I opened it. It’s a normal PDF. The column to the right is probably a tool bar that you have open in Adobe. You can just close it on your screen. When you send it out, the other person won’t see that.

Her: Oooooooh. Whew and thank you.

blabla89 · February 2015

The ladies in the aisle next to me are hilarious and have all kinds of ridiculous inside jokes.

One of them has day of the week underwear magnets in her cubicle that she re-arranges every day so she remembers what day it is. And sometimes she'll blurt out, "oh no, I forgot to change my underwear again!" or declaring what day of the week it is (Take 'em off Tuesday, Wide Panty Wednesday, Thong Thursday, Frilly Friday, and I forget what Monday is). It makes me laugh every time.

This lady (who is crazy in a good way) also loves to make up songs. My favorite was on a hectic day when she started singing "what would you do if we all walked out" to the tune of the klondike bar jingle.

teddygirl9 · February 2015

On my very first day, my boss was attempting to put together an excel sheet. He asked me if I could make the title in the center of the words. I pressed the center button. He was trying to put spaces in so it would be centered but it was always just off. He was like 'OMG you will do so good here!'. So, yeah, he makes me laugh because he literally has no clue about computers.

We order donairs/falafel alot for lunch, and one time one of our managers who isnt in the office much happened to be here when we were ordering lunch. I was showing him the menu and the falafel plate has a *no meat!* sign. And he was trying to order a chicken falafel, and kept asking why there is no meat, and cant they just make it with chicken. I just ordered him something else and I'm not sure if he knows haha.

Inkdancer · February 2015

levioosa said:

Inkdancer said:

Since it's easy to bitch about the people we work with, I thought I'd start a thread about funny things our coworkers do instead.

I just got a message from a coworker asking people to date their food items, because she is cleaning the refrigerator this week. Except, she kept abbreviating it "frig" and I laughed like a child. "Frig" is a different thing than "fridge".

I also used to have a coworker at a doctor's office who couldn't figure out why we kept asking her to only label appointments as either a followup (fu) or a checkup (ck up) and not both (fu/ck up).

What do your coworkers do that makes you laugh?

To the bolded, I honestly don't know if I would have asked her to stop doing that. It would have brought too much joy to my life to ask her to stop.

Well, I had to call people to verify their appointments and I kept bursting out laughing on the phone when I'd see it. I am a child.

FiancB · February 2015

I don't usually have a coworker, but I was looking at a resident's file for a younger guy with ODD and a host of health problems. There was a little interview piece and there was a question where they asked him what his favorite band was and they wrote St Cloud Posse. St Cloud is a city near here, but I'm pretty sure they misheard him actually say Insane Clown Posse...

Also the sheer number of times the night shift has had to document that one of the residents told him to fuck himself and the horse he rode in on.

NowIAmSyp · February 2015

I manage a team of 8 meeting planners... good god, it's fun yet exhausting having 8 different personalities report to you... my favorite quirk among them is the one girl who insists she descended from witches. She has proof and all!

climbingsingle · February 2015

I used to work with a guy that was a total disaster. He showered maybe once a week and wore the same clothes every day. One day, he decided to try to change the water bottle on the water cooler. And his tie got stuck in between. He was stuck there for a good 15 minutes before someone found him.

Whenever he changed the toner in the fax machine, he ended up with toner all over himself - his shirt, his head. Even his shoes.

One time he wore shorts with no underwear to the company picnic. I'm sure people are still traumatized.

He also wore a hat like this from November through April.

morewineplease · February 2015

I had a co-worker at another job that was very book smart, but lacked common sense.

Conversation as best I can recall.

Me: You need to fill out the blue form, I will fax you one (yup still faxing stuff not emailing)

Coworker: I did not get the form.

Me: OK I have the confirmation, but maybe someone picked it up. I will resent it just wait by the machine.

Coworker: I still did not get it. I just keep getting the "Operational Travel Form" but it is not blue.

Me: *Face palm* Nope that is the right form don't worry about the color.

Inkdancer · February 2015

@climbingwife

peachy13 · February 2015

My co-worker absolutely LOVES to push the fact that she's in her mid 30s and "so old" when in fact our team consists of women ages 25, 29 (me), 40, 45, 55, and 60. I am not sure why she loves to do the "oh, back in my day..." routine, but she does it all the time. "Well I grew up back in the 80s so..." "well when you're old like me..." She literally says stuff like this in front of people twice her age and I can't understand it for the life of me.

WR: she does seem to forget I'm only 6 years younger than her and calls me a "young bride." Not so much on the hilarious side, definitely more annoying than anything. I was born in the same decade as you.

southernbelle0915 · February 2015

peachy13 said:

My co-worker absolutely LOVES to push the fact that she's in her mid 30s and "so old" when in fact our team consists of women ages 25, 29 (me), 40, 45, 55, and 60. I am not sure why she loves to do the "oh, back in my day..." routine, but she does it all the time. "Well I grew up back in the 80s so..." "well when you're old like me..." She literally says stuff like this in front of people twice her age and I can't understand it for the life of me.

WR: she does seem to forget I'm only 6 years younger than her and calls me a "young bride." Not so much on the hilarious side, definitely more annoying than anything. I was born in the same decade as you.

On the flip side, I work with someone who constantly calls out my age in meetings. There will be a reference to something and she'll be like "s-belle, were you even born yet?" Um fuck you.

plainjane0415 · February 2015

One of my bosses uses the incorrect word in context all the time.

For example, "Fathom" she replaces with "Phantom" every time. As in, I cannot phantom that.

peachy13 · February 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

peachy13 said:

My co-worker absolutely LOVES to push the fact that she's in her mid 30s and "so old" when in fact our team consists of women ages 25, 29 (me), 40, 45, 55, and 60. I am not sure why she loves to do the "oh, back in my day..." routine, but she does it all the time. "Well I grew up back in the 80s so..." "well when you're old like me..." She literally says stuff like this in front of people twice her age and I can't understand it for the life of me.

WR: she does seem to forget I'm only 6 years younger than her and calls me a "young bride." Not so much on the hilarious side, definitely more annoying than anything. I was born in the same decade as you.

On the flip side, I work with someone who constantly calls out my age in meetings. There will be a reference to something and she'll be like "s-belle, were you even born yet?" Um fuck you.

I seriously hate that. This same co-worker will do the same thing to me. "Do you even know what a typewriter is??"

plainjane0415 · February 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

peachy13 said:

My co-worker absolutely LOVES to push the fact that she's in her mid 30s and "so old" when in fact our team consists of women ages 25, 29 (me), 40, 45, 55, and 60. I am not sure why she loves to do the "oh, back in my day..." routine, but she does it all the time. "Well I grew up back in the 80s so..." "well when you're old like me..." She literally says stuff like this in front of people twice her age and I can't understand it for the life of me.

WR: she does seem to forget I'm only 6 years younger than her and calls me a "young bride." Not so much on the hilarious side, definitely more annoying than anything. I was born in the same decade as you.

On the flip side, I work with someone who constantly calls out my age in meetings. There will be a reference to something and she'll be like "s-belle, were you even born yet?" Um fuck you.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves.. I get this a lot too in my job... It's very annoying.

charcoalandblush · February 2015

Thank you all... I literally LOLed in my office reading some of these.

When I first started full time, one of my bosses who I'm pretty close with came into my office for the first time. I just about died laughing, she was just walking around touching/picking up things (boring things, like my pencil cup and my lamp). She just looked at me and goes "You have such cool STUFF!" I don't know why, probably just her personality and the way she said it, but I laughed so hard.

novella1186 · February 2015

I used to work with a girl who was really really nice, but so loopy. I don't know what planet she was from.

She overheard me talking to our other co-worker about Jimmy Johns and asked what that was. She had never heard of it before (seriously), even though this is a small town and there is a Jimmy Johns here, just a few blocks from our office.

She got excited and decided to go try it for the first time during lunch. I get back from lunch and see the Jimmy Johns bag on her desk, so I ask if she liked it. She said really sad, "It was good, but I'm very upset with them. I think I should call them."

I ask why. She reaches into the bag, pulls out a wrapped pickle, waves it around in her first in a rage, and yells, "BECAUSE THIS IS NOT AN EGG ROLL! IT'S A PICKLE!"

Apparently she had ordered a pickle, expecting just a pickle spear. They gave her one of the big whole pickles wrapped up, and when she saw it in the bag she got really excited and thought this sandwich place handed out free egg rolls with every sandwich.....

lovesclimbing · February 2015

Last night, we had the Westminster dog show on at work. My coworker (who loves football) was explaining it to another coworker, "it's basically the Super Bowl of the dog show world" And the other coworker replies, "or, or you could say the Super Bowl is the Westminster dog show of football."

I laughed. The other coworker face palmed as did my H when I told him when I got home that evening.

SmileDamnit · February 2015

We had a new Director start a few months ago so we took her out for a lunch meeting her first week. As we were walking out to the car, another coworker said, "Oh, is this your vulva?" instead of "Oh, is this your Volvo?". And because I'm 12, I freakin' cracked up. Like that uncomfortable can't-stop-laughing-even-though-it's-inappropriate-type laughing. Freudian slip coworker was highly embarrassed and new coworker just giggled.

And her official nickname is now vulva.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

I had a boss in his 70's and he had a flatulence problem. He would fart with every step he took.

We had a lot of code names for him- one was Darth Vader because he'd stand over you or behind you and it'd sound like he was breathing through a space suit.

We also called his nice Lexus the Bondomobile because he was constantly crashing into things and having body work done on it- it was more bondo than actual metal. One time we were leaving a parking garage in the city and he was litterally scraping the passenger side of his car along the wall on the way down for two decks. We were laughing so hard we couldn't make him stop sooner.

princessgracekelly · February 2015

My boss, who is a lady in her 60's, my coworker, and I were sealing something with duct tape and my boss was having trouble with the duct tape. In the most innocent tone, my boss said, "I guess I'm not very good at stripping."

I'm surprised my and my coworker's heads didn't explode from trying to hold in laughter.

Wegl13 · February 2015

Unfortunately I can't give specific instances but unintentional spelling errors are always the best. Especially if they result in sexual innuendo.

ashley8918 · February 2015

I have a coworker who is the main contact for one of our customers in India. Our contact there is named Chitra G........ (cant remember the whole last name, but it starts with G. She alwayssssss fucking calls her Ms. Shitrag on the phone. KILLS ME.

fwtx5815 · February 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

peachy13 said:

My co-worker absolutely LOVES to push the fact that she's in her mid 30s and "so old" when in fact our team consists of women ages 25, 29 (me), 40, 45, 55, and 60. I am not sure why she loves to do the "oh, back in my day..." routine, but she does it all the time. "Well I grew up back in the 80s so..." "well when you're old like me..." She literally says stuff like this in front of people twice her age and I can't understand it for the life of me.

WR: she does seem to forget I'm only 6 years younger than her and calls me a "young bride." Not so much on the hilarious side, definitely more annoying than anything. I was born in the same decade as you.

On the flip side, I work with someone who constantly calls out my age in meetings. There will be a reference to something and she'll be like "s-belle, were you even born yet?" Um fuck you.

Fucking this. Our accounting + finance department has several young people but in my specific team, the next youngest person is still 20 years older than me. My old manager STILL brings up my age when we have department lunches or holiday parties. Like, yeah, you started working for the company the year I was born. Crazy. I get it.

LadyMillil · February 2015

Late to the party.

I have a coworker that doesn't know how to double space in Word. So whenever she has to write a report that is double spaced she types a sentence, presses enter twice, then starts typing again. Every single report I get from her has all the green underlining Word does for grammatical errors.

WinstonsGirl · February 2015

One of my students made me laugh today. Grade 6 and he said one of the other boys was saying stuff to him. He couldn't say it out loud so whispered to me that the other kids told him he was going through puberty. I whispered back that he was. That everyone in this class was in fact, and if this kid told him that again he could say back that this kid was too. He was shocked and open jawed and said that he didn't talk about those kind of things. And here I thought it was going to be something offensive/racist/bullying/etc.

Hilarious coworker things (NWR)

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