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June 2012 Weddings
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Finally!

LindzMarie19LindzMarie19
100 Comments
in June 2012 Weddings
I'm traveling home this weekend and i finally get to go dress shopping! Better late than never, right?!? lol

background info:
  some of yall probably don't know, my mom is not happy about me getting married a year before i graduate, ( FI is graduated, has a full time job, ect ect and we're stable) however she is still very negative and judgemental. She's going with me shopping because she IS still my mother. Any advice on dealing with possible , almost probable, negativity.. I just want it to be the best experience it can be. Because it is wedding dress shopping, thats suppose to be fun, right?! lol
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Re: Finally!

  • goodine11goodine11
    500 Comments
    Remember it is your and your FI's wedding. You probablly have the dress you want in mine.  When you know the dress is the one, its the one no matter how many people beg to differ ( let them keep begging) 
     
    I am so excited for you !!!
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  • goodine11goodine11
    500 Comments
    Remember this is you and your FI's day. Don't try to satisfy anyones dream on your wedding but yours.
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  • MMRoberts11MMRoberts11 member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Have fun!  My mom and your mom sound very similar (not because of when I chose to get married though).  Shopping with my mom was "interesting", she really didn't have anything good to say except for maybe 3 dresses so I just let her talk and say her opinions but didn't think about them.  For example she'd say things like: your butt looks huge in that, have you put on weight, I don't think anyone should ever where the in public, etc.  TBH, my mom and I don't agree really ever on style so I mostly listened to other people I had with me (the one time that happened) or the consultant.

    No matter what though, try to enjoy it and if you find the dress please take a pic so we can see it.
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  • Ash61612Ash61612 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_finally-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:af7ae9eb-6174-4dfa-8012-6c1050521dd4Post:2356bb9b-2728-4c7b-94ab-42087fbb14b8">Re: Finally!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have fun!  My mom and your mom sound very similar (not because of when I chose to get married though).  Shopping with my mom was "interesting", she really didn't have anything good to say except for maybe 3 dresses so I just let her talk and say her opinions but didn't think about them.  For example she'd say things like: your butt looks huge in that, have you put on weight, I don't think anyone should ever where the in public, etc.  TBH, my mom and I don't agree really ever on style so I mostly listened to other people I had with me (the one time that happened) or the consultant. <strong>No matter what though, try to enjoy it and if you find the dress please take a pic so we can see it.</strong>
    Posted by MMRoberts11[/QUOTE]

    agree. Listen to your gut and your heart. If you find "the one" and your mom doesn't agree, just listen to how you feel.
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  • chelseakopperudchelseakopperud
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Can you talk to your mom about it before you go shopping? Maybe reminding her (in a loving and kind way) that the wedding is only 4 months away and its happening and that you really want to remember this time as beign fun and joyful and not negative..... maybe that would help? Good luck!
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  • HarperBargoHarperBargo
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_finally-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:af7ae9eb-6174-4dfa-8012-6c1050521dd4Post:94317995-9ea8-4e75-9931-61c16c6b68eb">Re: Finally!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I n Response to Re: Finally! : agree. Listen to your gut and your heart. If you find "the one" and your mom doesn't agree, just listen to how you feel.
    Posted by Ash61612[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with this. I had let's say an experience the first time around with my mom. I tried picking a dress to please her and it didn't go well. If you want the full story you can PM me.
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  • doeie04doeie04 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    My mom is a Debbie Downer. She doesn't do it on purpose, but still does it, and ruins all my excitement. I don't know about your mom, but when mine starts doing it, I call her out on it and tell her how it is making me feel. If she can't have a good time, I would rather have her leave.

    Maybe if she starts ruining your fun day, let her know how you feel and tell her that you don't want to remember how she acted at this very special time in your life. I know I wouldn't want to look back at my wedding and remember how my mom was acting.

    Like others have said, if she refuses to have a good time, ignore her and try to have fun. And pictures!!! :P
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  • HilraythebrideHilraythebride member
    500 Comments
    Don't let it get to you and let her know that you really want both of you to enjoy it and have fun!

    Good luck!
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  • Carebear62584Carebear62584 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_finally-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:af7ae9eb-6174-4dfa-8012-6c1050521dd4Post:95463b76-c316-4cea-8202-6f3d372da584">Re: Finally!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can you talk to your mom about it before you go shopping? Maybe reminding her (in a loving and kind way) that the wedding is only 4 months away and its happening and that you really want to remember this time as beign fun and joyful and not negative..... maybe that would help? Good luck!
    Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

    This.  Just remind her that the wedding is happening so at this point if she wants to share in your day of dress shopping ask her to keep her negative comments to herself. 
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  • kimiandgarykimiandgary
    100 Comments
    Have fun dress shopping! Are you taking anyone else with you? You could lean on that person for extra support and remember when you know its your dress, you know.

    Mine was the only one I danced in :)
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