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Etiquette

Re: Saw this, thought of you <3

  • Now THAT was some good advice!
    antotoSP29
  • I don't think the columnist understands that the wedding guest has special circumstances and special snowflakes that should obviously be welcomed.
    antotolevioosamadamerwin
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Love the author's response! Woo!

    Formerly martha1818

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    SP29
  • I want to share the hell out of this on my FB wall but in the name of tact I won't do it...

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    antoto
  • NAILED IT. Great response. 

    Ugh, that MOG sucks. Blaming the issue on the bride *eyeroll* and telling her sister to "bring them anyway." Yea great advice. Cause your son and the bride undue stress of trying to rearrange pre-done seating arrangements, find tables and chairs, and scrounge to get meals for the nephews. What an awful, rude plan. Does anyone THINK anymore?
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  • That article has 2,682 comments.image

    Most commenters seem to agree with the columnist, though.

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  • southernbelle0915 When I see an article I want to snarkily share on FB I just "like" it so that my friends see the article but I haven't technically shared it.
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    wrigleyville
  • littlepeplittlepep South Carolina member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    "For the love of personalized matchbooks, do not, do not, do not bring people to a wedding who have not been expressly included."

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    newvalleyblabla89SP29kaitlynmichelle
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm actually surprised the columnist didn't take it a step farther with "where will your kids sit? will they displace other guests at tables? what will you cost the happy couple in meal costs?" and on and on. 
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  • LtPowersLtPowers Upstate New York member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I'm actually surprised the columnist didn't take it a step farther with "where will your kids sit? will they displace other guests at tables? what will you cost the happy couple in meal costs?" and on and on. 
    That's because the letter writer said the kids wouldn't attend the reception.

    While I totally agree with Carolyn, it is a bit of a bummer for the cousins in question if they're as close to the groom as is claimed. I think he might owe them an explanation, at least.


  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    The columnist got it right.
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2015
    Great article! 

    I noticed that too JellyBean. Maybe it was the bride who made the comment- which is why (for lurkers), each person in the couple should deal with their own family. The groom in this scenario should have told his mom "Sorry, nephews not invited!". 
    JellyBean52513
  • LtPowersLtPowers Upstate New York member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    aurianna said:
    LtPowers said:
    I'm actually surprised the columnist didn't take it a step farther with "where will your kids sit? will they displace other guests at tables? what will you cost the happy couple in meal costs?" and on and on. 
    That's because the letter writer said the kids wouldn't attend the reception.

    While I totally agree with Carolyn, it is a bit of a bummer for the cousins in question if they're as close to the groom as is claimed. I think he might owe them an explanation, at least.


    No. No explanation. As long as the couple is inviting significant others and not splitting up siblings (which is moot in this case since they are inviting no minors), they have the right to invite or not invite whomever they wish, no questions asked.

    Sometimes the children's meals don't exist or aren't discounted.
    Sometimes the couple isn't close to some children and would rather invite none than make waves by inviting some and not others.
    Sometimes there are legal issues with the bar that might make it cost more for insurance reasons if their are minors around.
    Some people just want an adult evening. I know we did.
    Some people just don't like kids or know a lot of their guests don't.
    The couple has their reasons, whatever they are, and they owe no one an explanation.
    Yeah but these are kids we're talking about. Either Mom and Dad have to explain it or the groom ought to, given they were excited about the wedding and looking forward to seeing it.


  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    LtPowers said:
    aurianna said:
    LtPowers said:
    I'm actually surprised the columnist didn't take it a step farther with "where will your kids sit? will they displace other guests at tables? what will you cost the happy couple in meal costs?" and on and on. 
    That's because the letter writer said the kids wouldn't attend the reception.

    While I totally agree with Carolyn, it is a bit of a bummer for the cousins in question if they're as close to the groom as is claimed. I think he might owe them an explanation, at least.


    No. No explanation. As long as the couple is inviting significant others and not splitting up siblings (which is moot in this case since they are inviting no minors), they have the right to invite or not invite whomever they wish, no questions asked.

    Sometimes the children's meals don't exist or aren't discounted.
    Sometimes the couple isn't close to some children and would rather invite none than make waves by inviting some and not others.
    Sometimes there are legal issues with the bar that might make it cost more for insurance reasons if their are minors around.
    Some people just want an adult evening. I know we did.
    Some people just don't like kids or know a lot of their guests don't.
    The couple has their reasons, whatever they are, and they owe no one an explanation.
    Yeah but these are kids we're talking about. Either Mom and Dad have to explain it or the groom ought to, given they were excited about the wedding and looking forward to seeing it.


    Yes. That is exactly what probably needs to happen. Except the only people whose responsibility it is to explain it are Mom and Dad, and not the groom.
  • yogablossomyogablossom member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2015
  • Sorry, my computer isn't letting me post my comment
  • This article is fantastic. And I have to say that I agree--this is totally a parenting moment for the mom and dad.  There were SO many wedding my parents were invited to that I wasn't, and they explained to me that some weddings are grown up events meant for grown ups. I understood.

    I think sometimes people overestimate a bit on how much a kid is going to really enjoy themselves at a wedding. Sure it's fun for a while, during the beginning of things, but receptions can feel long to little kids.

    The author nailed it when she described the "bored and squirmies". I've been to many weddings where this was the case with kids both at ceremony and reception; when all of the adults are up drinking and dancing and the kids are sitting bored at the table, tired and waiting to go home. This was me when I was 10 at my cousin's wedding. I vividly remember feeling very bored and lonely  while everyone else was partying, while I was sat at the table with my grandfather.

    Bottom line is, guests should respect the decision of the bride AND groom about whether or not they are inviting children to their wedding, regardless of the reason.


  • LtPowersLtPowers Upstate New York member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Normally, I'd completely agree, but it sounds like these kids are really close to their cousin -- almost like brothers. That's the only reason I'd suggest that the groom owes them an explanation. You know they're going to ask next time they see him; he needs to have an answer ready.
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