Saw this, thought of you <3

Re: Saw this, thought of you &lt;3

• kmmssg mod

  

  February 2015

  Now THAT was some good advice!

  Report2 Reply
• aurianna member

  

  February 2015

  I don't think the columnist understands that the wedding guest has special circumstances and special snowflakes that should obviously be welcomed.
  

  Report3 Reply
• lovegood90 member

  

  February 2015

  Love the author's response! Woo!

  Formerly martha1818

  

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• blabla89 member

  

  February 2015

  Would you mind on sending this to my aunt who wants to bring her (uninvited) grown daughters? Thanks.
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

  Report5 Reply
• DaniBites member

  

  February 2015

  I want to share the hell out of this on my FB wall but in the name of tact I won't do it...

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  February 2015

  NAILED IT. Great response. 

  
  

  Ugh, that MOG sucks. Blaming the issue on the bride *eyeroll* and telling her sister to "bring them anyway." Yea great advice. Cause your son and the bride undue stress of trying to rearrange pre-done seating arrangements, find tables and chairs, and scrounge to get meals for the nephews. What an awful, rude plan. Does anyone THINK anymore?

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• princessgracekelly member

  

  February 2015

  That article has 2,682 comments.

  Most commenters seem to agree with the columnist, though.

  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• antoto member

  

  February 2015

  southernbelle0915 When I see an article I want to snarkily share on FB I just "like" it so that my friends see the article but I haven't technically shared it.

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• littlepep member

  

  February 2015

  "For the love of personalized matchbooks, do not, do not, do not bring people to a wedding who have not been expressly included."

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  Report4 Reply
• thisismynickname2 member

  

  February 2015

  I'm actually surprised the columnist didn't take it a step farther with "where will your kids sit? will they displace other guests at tables? what will you cost the happy couple in meal costs?" and on and on. 

  ________________________________

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• LtPowers member

  

  February 2015

  thisismynickname said:

  I'm actually surprised the columnist didn't take it a step farther with "where will your kids sit? will they displace other guests at tables? what will you cost the happy couple in meal costs?" and on and on. 

  That's because the letter writer said the kids wouldn't attend the reception.

  
  

  While I totally agree with Carolyn, it is a bit of a bummer for the cousins in question if they're as close to the groom as is claimed. I think he might owe them an explanation, at least.

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2015

  The columnist got it right.

  Report0 Reply
• aurianna member

  

  February 2015 edited February 2015

  LtPowers said:

  show previous quotes

  thisismynickname said:

  I'm actually surprised the columnist didn't take it a step farther with "where will your kids sit? will they displace other guests at tables? what will you cost the happy couple in meal costs?" and on and on. 

  That's because the letter writer said the kids wouldn't attend the reception.

  
  

  While I totally agree with Carolyn, it is a bit of a bummer for the cousins in question if they're as close to the groom as is claimed. I think he might owe them an explanation, at least.

  
  

  
  

  No. No explanation. As long as the couple is inviting significant others and not splitting up siblings (which is moot in this case since they are inviting no minors), they have the right to invite or not invite whomever they wish, no questions asked.
  
  Sometimes the children's meals don't exist or aren't discounted.
  Sometimes the couple isn't close to some children and would rather invite none than make waves by inviting some and not others.
  Sometimes there are legal issues with the bar that might make it cost more for insurance reasons if their are minors around.
  Some people just want an adult evening. I know we did.
  Some people just don't like kids or know a lot of their guests don't.
  The couple has their reasons, whatever they are, and they owe no one an explanation.
  

  Report5 Reply
• JellyBean52513 member

  

  February 2015

  My fav thing is that the columnist called out the under-handed snark towards the bride, as if the groom is powerless in deciding whether or not his beloved nephews get to attend the wedding.

  Report6 Reply
• SP29 member

  

  February 2015 edited February 2015

  Great article! 

  
  

  I noticed that too JellyBean. Maybe it was the bride who made the comment- which is why (for lurkers), each person in the couple should deal with their own family. The groom in this scenario should have told his mom "Sorry, nephews not invited!". 

  Report1 Reply
• LtPowers member

  

  February 2015

  aurianna said:

  show previous quotes

  LtPowers said:

  thisismynickname said:

  I'm actually surprised the columnist didn't take it a step farther with "where will your kids sit? will they displace other guests at tables? what will you cost the happy couple in meal costs?" and on and on. 

  That's because the letter writer said the kids wouldn't attend the reception.

  
  

  While I totally agree with Carolyn, it is a bit of a bummer for the cousins in question if they're as close to the groom as is claimed. I think he might owe them an explanation, at least.

  
  

  
  

  No. No explanation. As long as the couple is inviting significant others and not splitting up siblings (which is moot in this case since they are inviting no minors), they have the right to invite or not invite whomever they wish, no questions asked.
  
  Sometimes the children's meals don't exist or aren't discounted.
  Sometimes the couple isn't close to some children and would rather invite none than make waves by inviting some and not others.
  Sometimes there are legal issues with the bar that might make it cost more for insurance reasons if their are minors around.
  Some people just want an adult evening. I know we did.
  Some people just don't like kids or know a lot of their guests don't.
  The couple has their reasons, whatever they are, and they owe no one an explanation.
  

  Yeah but these are kids we're talking about. Either Mom and Dad have to explain it or the groom ought to, given they were excited about the wedding and looking forward to seeing it.

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• wrigleyville member

  

  February 2015

  Then it's up to Mom and Dad to explain that we don't always get to do everything we want. It is not up to the groom to tell his nephews why they weren't invited. This is a parenting thing/life lesson.

  
  

  My mom used to tell us they were going to "a grownup party". That was sufficient for us. 

  
  

  I always thought it was neat that they got to go to these special "grownup parties" and that I would get to go to one someday. I always felt like the "grownup parties" were so different from the weddings I went to, like they were super awesome and magical somehow, with super secret grownup things.
  

  Report5 Reply
• flantastic member

  

  February 2015

  LtPowers said:

  show previous quotes

  aurianna said:

  LtPowers said:

  thisismynickname said:

  I'm actually surprised the columnist didn't take it a step farther with "where will your kids sit? will they displace other guests at tables? what will you cost the happy couple in meal costs?" and on and on. 

  That's because the letter writer said the kids wouldn't attend the reception.

  
  

  While I totally agree with Carolyn, it is a bit of a bummer for the cousins in question if they're as close to the groom as is claimed. I think he might owe them an explanation, at least.

  
  

  
  

  No. No explanation. As long as the couple is inviting significant others and not splitting up siblings (which is moot in this case since they are inviting no minors), they have the right to invite or not invite whomever they wish, no questions asked.
  
  Sometimes the children's meals don't exist or aren't discounted.
  Sometimes the couple isn't close to some children and would rather invite none than make waves by inviting some and not others.
  Sometimes there are legal issues with the bar that might make it cost more for insurance reasons if their are minors around.
  Some people just want an adult evening. I know we did.
  Some people just don't like kids or know a lot of their guests don't.
  The couple has their reasons, whatever they are, and they owe no one an explanation.
  

  Yeah but these are kids we're talking about. Either Mom and Dad have to explain it or the groom ought to, given they were excited about the wedding and looking forward to seeing it.

  
  

  
  

  Yes. That is exactly what probably needs to happen. Except the only people whose responsibility it is to explain it are Mom and Dad, and not the groom.

  Report0 Reply
• yogablossom member

  

  February 2015 edited February 2015

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• yogablossom member

  

  February 2015

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• yogablossom member

  

  February 2015

  Sorry, my computer isn't letting me post my comment
  

  Report0 Reply
• yogablossom member

  

  February 2015

  This article is fantastic. And I have to say that I agree--this is totally a parenting moment for the mom and dad.  There were SO many wedding my parents were invited to that I wasn't, and they explained to me that some weddings are grown up events meant for grown ups. I understood.
  
  I think sometimes people overestimate a bit on how much a kid is going to really enjoy themselves at a wedding. Sure it's fun for a while, during the beginning of things, but receptions can feel long to little kids.
  
  The author nailed it when she described the "bored and squirmies". I've been to many weddings where this was the case with kids both at ceremony and reception; when all of the adults are up drinking and dancing and the kids are sitting bored at the table, tired and waiting to go home. This was me when I was 10 at my cousin's wedding. I vividly remember feeling very bored and lonely  while everyone else was partying, while I was sat at the table with my grandfather.
  
  Bottom line is, guests should respect the decision of the bride AND groom about whether or not they are inviting children to their wedding, regardless of the reason.
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• LtPowers member

  

  February 2015

  Normally, I'd completely agree, but it sounds like these kids are really close to their cousin -- almost like brothers. That's the only reason I'd suggest that the groom owes them an explanation. You know they're going to ask next time they see him; he needs to have an answer ready.

  Report0 Reply