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What to wear...?

ZiggyZosZiggyZos member
Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
edited February 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My BIL is getting married this spring. I am the only family member not to be included in the wedding party in some way, so I am looking for some advice as to what to wear that will best coordinate in family photos without making me stick out like a sore thumb (not being in matching WP attire) and that won't make it look like I'm trying too hard to 'fit in' with the WP. I'm told BM dresses are going to be a shade of pink and the tuxes for the men are going to be in a light grey. '

DH thinks a LBD will be fine. I think it will stick out too much. I was thinking about trying to find a grey dress (suggestions?)... 

I know in the scheme of things, this is quite unimportant, but still... Help ladies of E!
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Re: What to wear...?

  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    ZiggyZos said:

    My BIL is getting married this spring. I am the only family member not to be included in the wedding party in some way, so I am looking for some advice as to what to wear that will best coordinate in family photos without making me stick out like a sore thumb (not being in matching WP attire) and that won't make it look like I'm trying too hard to 'fit in' with the WP. I'm told BM dresses are going to be a shade of pink and the tuxes for the men are going to be in a light grey. '


    DH thinks a LBD will be fine. I think it will stick out too much. I was thinking about trying to find a grey dress (suggestions?)... 

    I know in the scheme of things, this is quite unimportant, but my FSIL is the kind to complain about someone 'ruining' her photos by wearing the wrong thing, so I want to avoid as much drama as possible. Help ladies of E!
    Ha. I'd be tempted to wear something outlandish if she's that sort.

    Anyway, an led goes with everything, so I'd stick with that. It sounds very sprngiey so any pastel color would work as well.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    It's so nice of you to think about this sort of thing. Obviously you know you can wear whatever you would like but if you do want to try to sort of match, or at least not stick out, a blue or grey dress would probably look nice.

    I don't think your DH is off with his suggestion of a LBD. Black is always a classy choice and it goes with everything so I don't think you would stand out.



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  • ZiggyZosZiggyZos member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    chibiyui said:
    My BIL is getting married this spring. I am the only family member not to be included in the wedding party in some way, so I am looking for some advice as to what to wear that will best coordinate in family photos without making me stick out like a sore thumb (not being in matching WP attire) and that won't make it look like I'm trying too hard to 'fit in' with the WP. I'm told BM dresses are going to be a shade of pink and the tuxes for the men are going to be in a light grey. '

    DH thinks a LBD will be fine. I think it will stick out too much. I was thinking about trying to find a grey dress (suggestions?)... 

    I know in the scheme of things, this is quite unimportant, but my FSIL is the kind to complain about someone 'ruining' her photos by wearing the wrong thing, so I want to avoid as much drama as possible. Help ladies of E!
    Ha. I'd be tempted to wear something outlandish if she's that sort. Anyway, an led goes with everything, so I'd stick with that. It sounds very sprngiey so any pastel color would work as well.
    I've already had that temptation and let it pass... there's already been a fit (albeit from my MIL, not from the bride) that I didn't make it a priority to attend the bridal shower (where the bride's mother is hosting and has requested no gifts because she doesn't want to pay to ship them back to where the bride and groom reside out of state)... 
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    chibiyui said:
    My BIL is getting married this spring. I am the only family member not to be included in the wedding party in some way, so I am looking for some advice as to what to wear that will best coordinate in family photos without making me stick out like a sore thumb (not being in matching WP attire) and that won't make it look like I'm trying too hard to 'fit in' with the WP. I'm told BM dresses are going to be a shade of pink and the tuxes for the men are going to be in a light grey. '

    DH thinks a LBD will be fine. I think it will stick out too much. I was thinking about trying to find a grey dress (suggestions?)... 

    I know in the scheme of things, this is quite unimportant, but my FSIL is the kind to complain about someone 'ruining' her photos by wearing the wrong thing, so I want to avoid as much drama as possible. Help ladies of E!
    Ha. I'd be tempted to wear something outlandish if she's that sort. Anyway, an led goes with everything, so I'd stick with that. It sounds very sprngiey so any pastel color would work as well.
    You may have edited your original post after you were quoted.
    If the highlighted is actually the case, it IS nice of you to avoid drama. However, on the other hand, complying is enabling bratty, unreasonable behavior. A black dress won't stick out at all. A pastel, as someone else said, would be lovely. My go-to suggestion for nice dresses at reasonable prices is White House Black Market, and Ann Taylor and JCrew also have lovely dresses that won't "stick out."  Plus, if she were ever to complain about someone ruining photos, the fact is if they're not in the wedding party (bridesmaid, groomsmaid, bridesman, groomsman), you cannot dictate attire. I say wear what you feel wonderful wearing. 
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Chartreuse.

    Honestly, wear whatever will make you look beautiful. If that's a floral in shades of pinks, rock it. If that's black, rock it. Don't let her attitude get to you. 

    If you make any considerations, I'd make it more about what will look nice standing next to your H in snapshots. Forget her pictures; those are the ones YOU will keep. If he's wearing a grey suit and pink tie, a pink, purple, navy, grey or black dress would look great.
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  • ZiggyZosZiggyZos member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    thisismynickname said:

    chibiyui said:
    My BIL is getting married this spring. I am the only family member not to be included in the wedding party in some way, so I am looking for some advice as to what to wear that will best coordinate in family photos without making me stick out like a sore thumb (not being in matching WP attire) and that won't make it look like I'm trying too hard to 'fit in' with the WP. I'm told BM dresses are going to be a shade of pink and the tuxes for the men are going to be in a light grey. '

    DH thinks a LBD will be fine. I think it will stick out too much. I was thinking about trying to find a grey dress (suggestions?)... 

    I know in the scheme of things, this is quite unimportant, but my FSIL is the kind to complain about someone 'ruining' her photos by wearing the wrong thing, so I want to avoid as much drama as possible. Help ladies of E!
    Ha. I'd be tempted to wear something outlandish if she's that sort. Anyway, an led goes with everything, so I'd stick with that. It sounds very sprngiey so any pastel color would work as well.
    You may have edited your original post after you were quoted.
    If the highlighted is actually the case, it IS nice of you to avoid drama. However, on the other hand, complying is enabling bratty, unreasonable behavior. A black dress won't stick out at all. A pastel, as someone else said, would be lovely. My go-to suggestion for nice dresses at reasonable prices is White House Black Market, and Ann Taylor and JCrew also have lovely dresses that won't "stick out."  Plus, if she were ever to complain about someone ruining photos, the fact is if they're not in the wedding party (bridesmaid, groomsmaid, bridesman, groomsman), you cannot dictate attire. I say wear what you feel wonderful wearing. 
    She quoted while I was editing... re-read my OP and thought maybe I should just let it go, but since it was quoted, I'll just embrace what responders have to say in regards to that aspect as well. 

    Thank you for the suggestions on stores. I generally only shop for dresses if I'm a BM, and then it's generally David's Bridal, so I'm sort of lost when it comes to where to look! 
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  • SachaBeeSachaBee member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I think a grey dress would be lovely, but if you have an LBD that makes you feel awesome, go for it.
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  • alpacalunchalpacalunch member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    You do you. Wear what makes you feel beautiful. 

    Don't give 'sticking out' a second thought.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm a big fan of navy in general, and it would go well with both grey and pink. 

    I try to stay away from black for weddings. I don't know why, I just do.  (Then again, I was a bridesmaid in my aunt's wedding and one of her colours was black- we all wore black dress- so HA!). 

    If it is spring though, I'd go with a spring colour. A soft yellow or green would also go well. 

    But I agree, this is your choice what you want to wear. You aren't "ruining" anything- if SIL cares so much SHE can buy you a dress ;). I'm just giving suggestions as I would to a girlfriend about what I think would look good. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Where whatever you feel most beautiful in.  FSIL can shove it if she's going to complain about people in different colors "ruining her pretty pictures."  


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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    chibiyui said:
    My BIL is getting married this spring. I am the only family member not to be included in the wedding party in some way, so I am looking for some advice as to what to wear that will best coordinate in family photos without making me stick out like a sore thumb (not being in matching WP attire) and that won't make it look like I'm trying too hard to 'fit in' with the WP. I'm told BM dresses are going to be a shade of pink and the tuxes for the men are going to be in a light grey. '

    DH thinks a LBD will be fine. I think it will stick out too much. I was thinking about trying to find a grey dress (suggestions?)... 

    I know in the scheme of things, this is quite unimportant, but my FSIL is the kind to complain about someone 'ruining' her photos by wearing the wrong thing, so I want to avoid as much drama as possible. Help ladies of E!
    Ha. I'd be tempted to wear something outlandish if she's that sort. Anyway, an led goes with everything, so I'd stick with that. It sounds very sprngiey so any pastel color would work as well.
    I'm imagining the OP wearing a light-up dress in order to make the pictures clash as much as possible.
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  • charcoalandblushcharcoalandblush member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    lovesclimbing said:
    chibiyui said:
    My BIL is getting married this spring. I am the only family member not to be included in the wedding party in some way, so I am looking for some advice as to what to wear that will best coordinate in family photos without making me stick out like a sore thumb (not being in matching WP attire) and that won't make it look like I'm trying too hard to 'fit in' with the WP. I'm told BM dresses are going to be a shade of pink and the tuxes for the men are going to be in a light grey. '

    DH thinks a LBD will be fine. I think it will stick out too much. I was thinking about trying to find a grey dress (suggestions?)... 

    I know in the scheme of things, this is quite unimportant, but my FSIL is the kind to complain about someone 'ruining' her photos by wearing the wrong thing, so I want to avoid as much drama as possible. Help ladies of E!
    Ha. I'd be tempted to wear something outlandish if she's that sort. Anyway, an led goes with everything, so I'd stick with that. It sounds very sprngiey so any pastel color would work as well.
    I'm imagining the OP wearing a light-up dress in order to make the pictures clash as much as possible.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think you should wear whatever you want. Honestly. Who cares about matching her pictures? Wear something you love and feel great in. 
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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    While I believe you can and should wear anything you want to wear, I understand trying to avoid any unnecessary drama, even if it means going ridiculously out of your way. I'd go for a gray or other pastel color, keep it a solid, and make sure it's a conservative cut (no cleavage, not too figure-hugging)...essentially a typical bridesmaid cut type of dress. I'm sure J Crew and Ann Taylor have plenty of these dresses. I don't know if that's your typical style, but plenty of people dress like that regularly, so it's easy to find. Seriously, I'd aim for "bland, but still attractive" in a color that won't stand out. I'm imagining what someone in a Lifetime movie would wear to a country club event. 
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