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When to ask?

Bubbs4everBubbs4ever member
10 Comments
in Wedding Party
I have one OOT party member out of five. I want to ask both her and her sister (cousins) to be BMs. Should I wait until they are together? They are very close. I would hate for one's feelings to get hurt thinking I was asking one and not the other.

Should I ask all my ladies and gent around the same time? How long before the wedding?

Thanks in advance!
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Re: When to ask?

  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Knottie29413580 said:
    I have one OOT party member out of five. I want to ask both her and her sister (cousins) to be BMs. Should I wait until they are together? They are very close. I would hate for one's feelings to get hurt thinking I was asking one and not the other. Should I ask all my ladies and gent around the same time? How long before the wedding? Thanks in advance!

    Wait to ask until 9 months or so before the wedding - relationships change and we get people on here all the time asking what to do about BMs from 2 years ago who they no longer really speak to.

    If the bolded is a concern, I'd ask them both together if you plan to do it in person. If you're going to have to call them, just call and ask around the same time you ask everyone else.

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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Wait until about 9 months out from the wedding.  You would be surprised at how much relationships change.  Generally we advise asking everyone separately and privately.  If you are going to ask them both though, I would try to do it the same day.  


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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    If they're OOT just ask over the phone. I asked two of my out of state BMs over the phone. NBD. Ask about 10 months from the wedding date.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ask about 8-9 months before the wedding. It's best to ask everyone individually, but to do it all at about the same time. 

    If you aren't going to see the OOT person any time around there, call her an ask her over the phone. When you do, tell her that you are going to ask her cousin and ask her to keep it quiet until you've had a chance to ask the cousin. 
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  • Bubbs4everBubbs4ever member
    10 Comments
    They are sisters who are my cousins for clarification. Thank you to all who responded.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

     

    MyNameIsNot said:
    Ask about 8-9 months before the wedding. It's best to ask everyone individually, but to do it all at about the same time. 

    If you aren't going to see the OOT person any time around there, call her an ask her over the phone. When you do, tell her that you are going to ask her cousin and ask her to keep it quiet until you've had a chance to ask the cousin. 
    I think this is the perfect way to handle it.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm going to ad, I would ask people individually in case for some reason someone needs to decline, it's less ackward if others are not around.
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