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Wedding Party

Jewelry as Flower Girl Gift?

So having lurked the forums a bit, I've come to understand that giving your bridesmaids matchy matchy jewelry as a thank-you gift is not acceptable. I completely get the reasoning on that (it's something for the wedding day rather than a true thank-you that they can enjoy after and apart from the wedding, it might not be their style, something that you require someone to wear is not a gift, etc etc) and thanks to everything I've read here I will be doing more personal and non-wedding related gifts for my bridesmaids.  

But, I'm wondering if the same rule applies for a thank you gift for flower girls? Our flower girls are our nieces who are quite special to us and I would like to get them a small-ish gift as a thank-you for their brief role in our ceremony. I would be willing to spend up to maybe 50-60$ for something nice. We have offered to pay for their outfits, not as a gift per se but just because I didn't want to burden my future siblings-in-law with too many extra costs. Currently I'm not sure what is happening with that (one of my FSILs insisted that wasn't necessary, the other I think will take us up on it). I know some people will say to just get them a small toy as a thank-you gift but to be honest these girls are the type that have have sooo many toys and little dolls and everything you can imagine.. they are rather spoiled in a material sense with toys all the time by both sets of grandparents, great-grandparents, us aunts and uncles etc. And they have so many toys that their moms complain about it constantly and are always having to donate toys, sell toys on facebook, throw out toys etc. They also have crazy amounts of clothing (at least in terms of every day wear) due again to being spoiled by the grandparents with new outfist every time they go out. Gift cards are not the best option either because a) that leads to the kids going to a store and wanting to pick out more toys!  and b) both the moms have infants right now and I know from comments they've made before about gift cards and store credit that they hate going into stores for the older kids to pick something out because it's a hassle having to take the baby and the toddlers and the older kids, and the kids take forever, etc etc. Lately for Christmas and Birthdays and stuff we have moved towards trying to giving them books (since I view reading as more enriching than some monster high doll), and we try to give them experiences rather than junky toys (ie. spending time with them) so we will take them out to the movies, local events and festivals, etc. But they live four hours away so we don't get to do experiences with them super often, only when we visit.

So I was thinking of a decent-quality necklace like this. It's nothing too extravagant/fine that I wouldn't give it to a six year old or be upset if the six year old eventually lost is, as they tend to do, but it's also not like the super cheaply made stuff I've seen on etsy/plastic pearls from Ardene's. I feel like it's a cute little necklace that doesn't scream wedding (so they could wear it for any occasion) and it seems like it would sort of be a nicer, more grown-up piece (as opposed to plastic costume jewelry) for them to have to remind them of how special they are to us and to sort of mark them getting older and more responsible and therefore being gifted something other than toys or dolls. And I would by no means "require" them to wear it at the wedding. I would simply give it to them and express my thanks (probably at the rehersal), and if they want to wear it as the wedding that's cool, but if not that's completely fine too, it really doesn't matter to me if they wear it for the wedding day. So would it still be poor etiquette to give matching jewelry as a thank-you gift to my flower girls? If so, does anyone have other gift suggestions?
[Deleted User]

Re: Jewelry as Flower Girl Gift?

  • I think this is OK if they would like it, and if you aren't requiring them to wear it for the wedding. I know lots of little girls who like jewelry, so would be happy to get something nice and "adult".

    I was in my aunt's wedding when I was 8. My aunt gave me a ring with my birthstone in it. It had nothing to do with the wedding itself, just a gift, something special she wanted me to have. I loved it! I wore it everyday until I unfortunately lost it :(
    MollyandD
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    No, it's not poor etiquette, as long as the little girls even like or would want jewelry.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    ashley8918
  • Thanks for the replies. I think they would like it.. I mean, they're kids, I can't predict 100% (sometimes you think a kid will like something and they hate it.. kids are funny like that) but they are both quite girly girly types and are definitely into hair accessories, bracelets, jewelry, etc from what I've seen. I might show a picture without the price to their mothers or I might just keep it a surprise.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    I loved jewelry, as a little girl. So did my daughter. If you think the little girls like that sort of thing, go for it. Check out the Disney store or Amazon for Disney princess jewelry - maybe Ana and Elsa pendants.


                       
    ashley8918
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Yeah, I think this sounds fine.
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    My flower girls were  my nieces (ages 7 and almost 9 at the time), and DH's youngest cousin (age 10). All were very excited to be dressed up like 'ladies' for the day, and I kept that in mind when picking out three pearl necklaces on gold chains. Each was dainty enough for girls their age, but were classic in style, so they'll get a lot of use out of them. 

    They were thrilled, and insisted the necklaces go on immediately. From more recent photos, they've worn them for as many special occasions as they can manage
    MollyandDjerseykisses
  • I got my flower girls necklaces. I also bought their outfits. I bought the dresses just to be nice and to give the parents one less thing to worry about. I bought the necklaces, because my little flower girls said that's what they wanted. I told them I would be getting them a present, and they told me they wanted jewelry (specifically, they wanted something that looked like "grown up" jewelry).
    MairePoppy
  • Thanks for the additional responses, I think I'll just go ahead with the ones I linked in gold. Exactly like others have said I view it as they are not babies any more, they are growing up and really maturing and to be a flower girl is more of a grown-up sort of responsible type role in the wedding (dressing up fancy, walking nicely down the aisle, scattering their flowers) that I know they will do great at so I don't want to give them a toy or plastic kid jewelry. But I also wouldn't spend a fortune on a necklace for their age (6) because it's still possible for kids to lose stuf, break stuff etc. So I think this is a good in-between.. a nicer quality piece that it is a bit more adult than babyish and that they could certainly wear for non-wedding occasions but nothing crazy extravagant either.
    jerseykisses
  • Ah I love this idea. I still have jewelry I received from family members when I was young. Most of it doesn't fit anymore, but I keep it and love looking at it. It's a wonderful keepsake, and like you said, it will make them feel that they are special and loved (mine did and still does when I look at it.)
    image
  • This is going to be total opposite from where you were thinking and not sure if it would work in your budget, but check with their parents to see if there is a special place they love to go a lot like the zoo or a muesuem and look into getting a family membership for that place. Yes, the whole family gets to benefit from the gift but it's to a place the flower girl loves to go. And with a family membership the parents can more easily pack up the whole family for an afternoon outting. Plus it's kind of a way of thanking the parents for allowing their daughters to be a part of the wedding because even if you pay for the dress they are making sure to get their girls ready & have them to the wedding earlier then they would if she was just a guest.

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