I apologize!

CMGragain · March 2015

Knotties, I am very sorry that I lost my temper yesterday. I want to apologize to everybody. Most of you are very nice people. It really warmed my heart to see all the kind responses I got a few days ago when I posted my good news about my health report.

I need time out from the Knot. I am tired of being harassed, stalked, and insulted by just a few members. I am tired of having my words twisted to mean something that was obviously not intended just to give someone their jollies on a Friday. I do get angry when someone misquotes me or spreads outright lies, but I shouldn't lose my temper. I have a total of about 15,000 posts between the two screen names I used. It is sad that someone thinks they need to dredge up something from three years ago which I apologized profusely for at the time. Three years ago. Seriously?

Most of you are lovely ladies who only want to plan your weddings and do everything right. God bless you.

I won't be posting for a very long time. I need to step back and pay attention to my real life friends. We are all going to meet Tuesday and wear our pearls, hats, gloves and ancient mink stoles. I gave mine to my daughter to wear for cosplay. I need a rest.

Goodbye, and God bless you all.

Christine

doeydo · March 2015

I'm sorry to hear that. I'll miss you and your advice.

sophhabobopha · March 2015

Edited

This is all very dramatic.

paperpusher · March 2015

I'm sorry to hear this. I'll miss you and your advice. You'll be in my thoughts.

novella1186 · March 2015

CM, I don't know if you're gone already or not, but I hope you read this.

The reason some very negative reactions came up in your other thread is because sometimes your judgements can be very hurtful. I've seen you post some pretty harsh things, and usually another reg or two call it out-- much more eloquently than I could-- so I stay out of it.

It seems like, however, that you haven't seen the point yet, because you continue to make some harsh judgements sometimes. So I would like to say something. I just want you to try to see some of this from where I stand, and maybe it can help you see that judgmental words can be extremely hurtful, even when you didn't mean for them to be.

When I read your other thread that one personally stung a little bit. Being someone with 10 different tattoos, and having experimented quite a lot with hair colors and make-up, you could have been describing me, and that stung. It didn't ruin my day or make me lose any sleep, but it definitely feels bad to hear the sentiment that people may need to be wary of me because I have some tattoos.

When I was a teenager I went through a gothic phase and dyed my hair black. I was called a witch, a devil worshiper, and demonic based on my hair color, makeup, and clothes.
When I was blonde, I was called a bimbo, an airhead, and a slut. Based on my hair color.
When I had blue hair, I was called trash.
With brown hair I've been called a geek, a nerd, and boring.
All those very different judgements. But I've been the same person every time, with the same brain, the same level of intelligence, the same heart, the same level of kindness and compassion, the same religion and beliefs, the same morals, and the same struggle to be seen for the person that I am. Each one of those judgements hurt and baffled me. None of those aspects of who I am as a person correlate with my increasing number of tattoos, or ever-changing hair color.

When you posted the good news about your health, I was happy for you, and I congratulated you, because no matter how many judgmental, harsh, or hurtful things I see you post, I will always wish you well. You know why? Because you are a human being, and so am I.

That's what I wish you would pause to think about before you make such stark judgements of other people; they and you are one in the same. You are both humans. The hair color or tattoos or personal mistakes made in life or drug use or whatever else should have no bearing on how you treat them.

That make-up consultant with the crazy hair and extreme makeup and clothes has a heart. They just want to do their job, and be good at it, and earn a living, and receive just a basic level of respect from the people around them.

I will miss your etiquette advice. I really enjoyed your contributions there and learned a thing or two from you. I think a lot of people can-- and have-- benefited from the things you know well.

Other peoples lives are not a thing you know well (none of us really do). So please do not make snap judgements or sweeping generalizations on other people. No matter what age you are, being accepting, understanding, and open-minded is always possible. And as I said, I really-- truly-- wish you the best.

ashley8918 · March 2015

sophhabobopha said:
Edited

This is all very dramatic.

AddieCake · March 2015

Take care of your health and enjoy your family, CMGr. I will miss you and look forward to having you back around in the future.

kmbay84 · March 2015

I just wanted to say @novella1186 that you seem have an amazing way of saying important things. You are respectful, patient, kind, obviously have a huge heart, considerate, tactful, yet you still get your point across. I just think that is a gift and I admire that. You seem to have a knack for being encouraging and supportive, yet strong with a good head on your shoulders. I just think it's an awesome skill and personality trait to have and I can see why so many people like you tons around here.

So yeah, just wanted to say that. I will end my mushy rant now.

larrygaga · March 2015

Being old and not trendy doesn't give you a pass to be judgmental! I know lots of old ladies who are gracious and wonderful people. Every post you make is condescending and hurtful to somebody. You legit don't have the ability to not piss off everyone on this board. Have fun with your rich old lady friends and make sure you talk about how the minorities are ruining our economy or whatever it is you guys talk about!

I seriously hope you don't come back unless you figure out how to be constructive with your "advice". I also hope you are able to realize that you are very far from perfect, and nobody here is stalking or harassing you. Everything you say in public is subject to criticism. You don't get to say whatever you want and have no consequences.

Many ladies on this board know how to throw a polite wedding, so we really don't need your services anymore. We can pass on the information. Thanks for your passive aggressive goodbye!

larrygaga · March 2015

I would also like to state that my mom is 62, does not think tattoos, crazy hair and piercings are cool but is kind and awesome to all my friends, even the ones who are gay, black or have sleeves.

She knows she's "old", and you know what? She just goes "The world is changing, I suppose I better deal with it." or she says "Not my business how people dress."

She also makes awesome lemon bars and fixes all the holes in my clothes. She also one time got drunk on wine coolers and told me about an LSD trip she took in the 70's.

novella1186 · March 2015

kmbay84 said:
I just wanted to say @novella1186 that you seem have an amazing way of saying important things. You are respectful, patient, kind, obviously have a huge heart, considerate, tactful, yet you still get your point across. I just think that is a gift and I admire that. You seem to have a knack for being encouraging and supportive, yet strong with a good head on your shoulders. I just think it's an awesome skill and personality trait to have and I can see why so many people like you tons around here.
So yeah, just wanted to say that. I will end my mushy rant now.

oh my gosh thank you so much! That is awesome of you to say. I'm totally tearing up right now! lol thank you!

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2015

JFC. You want to know why you feel like you're always being called out? Because you're ALWAYS making judgmental, ignorant, self-righteous, egotistical comments. Try taking a break from THAT.

climbingsingle · March 2015

lolo883 said:
JFC. You want to know why you feel like you're always being called out? Because you're ALWAYS making judgmental, ignorant, self-righteous, egotistical comments. Try taking a break from THAT.

Word. And this passive aggressive apology too? Bless your heart.

mlg78 · March 2015

Where was this drama I missed???

Well crap. Now there will be no one to edit the shit out of invite wording and to spread the word that you shouldn't wear a tux before 6pm.

Edit: For the record, I love the look of a man wearing a tux regardless of what time it is.

mrscomposer · March 2015

Anyone else more thankful for the older women in their lives now? If my 71 year old Nana went into a makeup shop to ask for advice and was approached by an employee with crazy hair, piercings, and tattoos, the first thing Nana would do is find something to compliment her on.

Also. Currently designing a tattoo for said Nana.

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2015

Oh and Madame former teacher, please also look up the definitions of "harass" and "stalk." I promise you, you have experienced neither of those things on The Knot.

buttercup1958 · March 2015

This was as much of an apology as "sorrynotsorry".

AlexisA01 · March 2015

I am tired of being harassed, stalked, and insulted

I read the thread and I wanted to say, that nobody was causing you problems.. I was somewhat blown away by the judgmental comments regarding the makeup artist that are different. I love my makeup artist I use for events. She works for Benefit cosmetics and she is tatted and gorgeous. I LOVE her. I think you tried to excuse your ignorant comment by saying I am human.

KatWAG · March 2015

FWIW, I am the "someone" who dredged what you said from 3 years ago. And I stand by it. The reason I brought it up was because its another example of your judgmental, close-minded way of thinking.

I don't know if its against TOS or not to discuss what is said in PMs. But you are drastically changing your tune from the PMs you sent me last night.

It is not a real apology when you blame others for your behavior. Maybe it is time to take a step back.

beethery · March 2015

KatWAG said:
FWIW, I am the "someone" who dredged what you said from 3 years ago. And I stand by it. The reason I brought it up was because its another example of your judgmental, close-minded way of thinking.

I don't know if its against TOS or not to discuss what is said in PMs. But you are drastically changing your tune from the PMs you sent me last night.

It is not a real apology when you blame others for your behavior. Maybe it is time to take a step back.

You can talk about it, just don't c+p/quote. Otherwise, you're in the clear

JennyColada · March 2015

beethery said:

KatWAG said:
FWIW, I am the "someone" who dredged what you said from 3 years ago. And I stand by it. The reason I brought it up was because its another example of your judgmental, close-minded way of thinking.

I don't know if its against TOS or not to discuss what is said in PMs. But you are drastically changing your tune from the PMs you sent me last night.

It is not a real apology when you blame others for your behavior. Maybe it is time to take a step back.
You can talk about it, just don't c+p/quote. Otherwise, you're in the clear

I love you so much right now.

FiancB · March 2015

CMG, I will agree I have seen people twist your words a bit, but it's easy to do when there is a consistent pattern of behavior. Take the giant SBmini thread for example. Surely you can see why people started to bring in other examples of her judgemental and controlling behavior and her insensitive posts, myself included. Maybe it's easier to see these problems in another poster rather than yourself.

You do tend to be condescending. You also tend to bring up personal stories at times when it's not sensitive or relevant. OTOH, on other posts you are very knowledgeable and caring. I think people on this board tend to be pretty good about judging people one post at a time. A person can really tick me off in one thread and I will call them on it, but in another we will get along like peas and carrots. When there is a long standing and consistent pattern of behavior though, people start to lose their patience and tolerance.

I think you are a nice presence on the board. I can also see how people get irritated by your posts. You tend to have a very black and white way of thinking. Some self monitoring is in order. Personally, if I had something about me that constantly grated on others and made me way less credible and likeable, I would want to hear about it so that I could try to correct it.

I mean really of all people a MUA is going to have crazy hair and makeup and tattoos. That's one of the perks of the job. I walk by the beauty school part of my college and I am jealous they can basically look however they want (and they look fabulous!). If your lawyer looked like that, I could see taking more of an issue (but that still has zero bearing on their worth as a person or competence as a lawyer).

I apologize!

Re: I apologize!

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