To Move or not to Move?

Re: To Move or not to Move?

• charlottesmom0626 member

  

  March 2015

  Personally? I don't think I'd be TTC while my life was so busy with trying to move 3 different times in 3 years, especially because (like you) I hate moving.

  
  

  Honestly, you can break a lease. Or sublet. Case closed.

  
  

  If you're happy where you are currently I would stay there and then IF you get pregnant on your timeline (or before or after) you should sit down and decide at that time. "Okay we just found out we are going to have a baby in approximately 9 months. Where does that leave us?

  
  

  However, if you aren't happy with your current apartment, and since you think you're over paying for your current place, I think you should look into 2BRs that might be within your budget. Looking never hurt anyone.

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  March 2015

  I would stay for now. Especially if moving would incur additional costs and inconveniences that you wouldn't want to deal with while pregnant/with a new baby. A walk-up apartment sounds miserable lugging one of those big infant carriers.

  
  

  Babies don't take up that much space the first 6 months. It'll likely still be sleeping in a bassinet in your room rather than a crib, and they can't sit up on their own yet, much less play with toys. If you get big items at a shower, you can put them into storage until you have a larger place. As long as you have some room on the floor for a play mat/tummy time, you should be OK. 

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• kvruns member

  

  March 2015

  The 2bd without the amenities doesn't sound so great, especially since it will require additional items such as a car, potential Laundromat, gym membership et not to mention all of that stuff with a newborn.  I'd stay put, see what happens with TTC and reevaluate when the time comes.

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• STARMOON44 member

  

  March 2015

  No way I would move. Nearly all my friends have stayed in one bedrooms with their new borns. It's 4-5 months, you'll be fine. Don't buy a full sized crib until after you've moved, focus on streamlining, and tell family they have to stay at a hotel if they visit.

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• chloe97 member

  

  March 2015

  I'm in a very similar hypothetical state, so I can relate. We live in a 2 BR condo that we own, but my FI works out of our home and also is a pack rat (we are working on that). We are going to TTC in September. I would like to move next year, but FI is just getting his own business started and qualifying for a mortgage next year for more than we already own is going to be a challenge. 

  
  

  I don't know where you live, but I live in Chicago and the thought of being cooped up for a few months in our tiny 2 BR in the winter with a newborn make me want to move  to a bigger place badly! Just the last few weeks of cold and snow being inside on the weekends has been painful and we don't have a fussy baby. I would at least look to see if there is anything that you could maybe afford and make work- you would be surprised. Where we live, a lot of people who may still be under water rent out their condos cheaper than what a typical landlord would charge for the same apartment. Just something to think about.   

  
  

  
  

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• redwoodoriginal member

  

  March 2015

  thanks ladies! I do appreciate all these replies

  
  

  @chloe97 - haha, we live in Chicago as well, and being in a 1bdrm with a infant in the middle of winter also makes me wanna cry. I've been looking but there doesn't seem to be a lot of apts out at the moment- i think i need to wait til its closer to June or Sept. to see if better priced apts come up. 

  
  

  I guess we will just stay put for now and see what happens. 

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• larrygaga member

  

  March 2015

  I read like one paragraph and my advice is to wait until he's done with med school before having a baby. I'm assuming he doesn't have many years left!

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  March 2015

  larrygaga said:

  I read like one paragraph and my advice is to wait until he's done with med school before having a baby. I'm assuming he doesn't have many years left!

  I agree with this.  Or at least wait until you move to the city where his residency will be in.

  
  

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• wrigleyville member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  Maggie0829 said:

  larrygaga said:

  I read like one paragraph and my advice is to wait until he's done with med school before having a baby. I'm assuming he doesn't have many years left!

  I agree with this.  Or at least wait until you move to the city where his residency will be in.

  Ditto.

  
  

  Also, you're right about waiting until summer before looking at ads. There is very little out there right now. Even though Chicago isn't really a college town, the leases still cycle on college schedules.

  
  

  There is no way I'd move to a place that required us to buy a second car, especially if it could only be temporary.

  
  

  Honestly, I would just wait until you know where his residency is going to be. If you have a baby at that point, you'll deal with it. It will be much, much easier than moving once or twice, buying/selling that second car, etc.

  
  

  The relatives will just have to stay in a hotel. My parents did when I had a small one-bedroom because, really, there was no other option. They understood, and they didn't want to be crammed in either.

  
  

  You won't need a lot of the big items until the baby is older, so you could store those (maybe at a relative's house?) and keep the baby in a bassinet and use a changing pad on the floor if there isn't room for a changing table. I know it isn't ideal, but it's only for a few months (at most - this is even assuming you get pregnant on your timeline), and it's better than moving a billion times.

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  March 2015

  wrigleyville said:

  larrygaga said:

  I read like one paragraph and my advice is to wait until he's done with med school before having a baby. I'm assuming he doesn't have many years left!

  I agree with this.  Or at least wait until you move to the city where his residency will be in.

  Ditto.

  
  

  Also, you're right about waiting until summer before looking at ads. There is very little out there right now. Even though Chicago isn't really a college town, the leases still cycle on college schedules.

  
  

  There is no way I'd move to a place that required us to buy a second car, especially if it could only be temporary.

  
  

  Honestly, I would just wait until you know where his residency is going to be. If you have a baby at that point, you'll deal with it. It will be much, much easier than moving once or twice, buying/selling that second car, etc.

  
  

  The relatives will just have to stay in a hotel. My parents did when I had a small one-bedroom because, really, there was no other option. They understood, and they didn't want to be crammed in either.

  
  

  You won't need a lot of the big items until the baby is older, so you could store those (maybe at a relative's house?) and keep the baby in a bassinet and use a changing pad on the floor if there isn't room for a changing table. I know it isn't ideal, but it's only for a few months (at most - this is even assuming you get pregnant on your timeline), and it's better than moving a billion times.

  
  
  And to add to the whole parents having to stay in a hotel thing...even if you have a 2br apartment they will still most likely have to stay in a hotel when they come to visit since one bedroom will be your room and the other will be your kids room.  And really, if they want to come visit you then they shouldn't be automatically thinking that they will be staying at your place.

  
  

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• stefuhknee member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  I agree with PP's about staying put. I live in NYC so I can understand dealing with cramped expensive apartments. For the first year we were able to fit my son's pack and play and swing in our bedroom plus his clothes and toiletries in our closet. We didn't set up a crib or get large toys until we moved into a bigger place. Also the first place we moved to after the baby was born was a 2BR 5 floor walk up, worst 8 months of my life. Getting a sleeping baby, baby bag and stroller up those stairs anytime we went for a stroll was a nightmare. Not to mention groceries, laundry etc. Now we live on the ground level of a brownstone and it's amazing, just  try and be patient a NB really doesn't need much space.

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• chloe97 member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  @redwoodoriginal - Ha! That is funny. The way you were describing rents, I had a feeling.  My FI actually owns a condo near the medical district - 1 Br with a den in a building with all the amenities you described. We actually have a medical resident couple and their 2 young children living there now, so its big enough for a baby (2 kids is definitely a squeeze) . Anyway, it sounds like you are looking Sept, but his units available for June- if you are interested PM for details. We were just getting ready to post it right before Match Day.

  
  

  As for PPs comments about waiting til he's done with school to TTC, I would say that it's not for us to comment on other people's family planning timelines. I know, we would love to wait a few more years and enjoy our marriage before TTC, but since I'm over 35, we don't want to push it off any further. I'm sure OP has her reasons for their timeline. 

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  March 2015

  When I was talking to my GP about TTC, she shared some of her internal questions and struggles with me... she basically said there's no perfect time to start a family, so you just have to do the best with what you have. With med school and residency and everything else, you don't get to the part where your schedule is "easy" or even consistent for a long time, and it's not realistic for most people to want to wait that long. And this was coming from a female doctor who's going through the grueling schedule herself, with a pregnancy and a newborn. 

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• KatieinBkln member

  

  March 2015

  I would stay. This opinion is colored by the fact that I live in NYC and the idea of being cramped/not being able to host visiting family are notions I have already come to terms with.

  
  

  To me, though, 5 months ain't so bad. They aren't up and running around by that point, so while their STUFF will take up room, the baby won't personally need "runnin' around" space. Save your money, save your sanity, and wait till you have the baby and the end of the lease is near. Put the extra rent you would've paid (plus the car money!) into a savings account. Then, when baby comes along, you can decide if you want to put it toward rent at a nicer place or into a college fund or save for a down payment on a house (once you land somewhere more permanent).

  
  

  
  

  
  

  This baby knows exactly how I feel

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• redwoodoriginal member

  

  March 2015

  thanks ladies. Yeah, @chloe97 and @lolo883 are right with our timeline issues... he did a combined md/phd program where his phd took 6 years, so we're a lot older than the average medical student, so waiting until we figure out residency placement isn't ideal for us, timewise. Also he really wants to be around a LOT (as in paternity leave) for the first few months of the baby's life, and spring of 4th yr med school is pretty ideal for that, since we've seen the majority of our friends who only did the MD portion, go through all of it and saw what was easier and how difficult kids in the first year of residency was for them. 

  
  

  I think staying put is the ideal answer, but he suddenly feels that it will be too cramped and we will all die. i felt that 4-5months of maybe outweigh moving, but we'll see, i guess...

  
  

  as far as family... my parents always stay in a hotel when they visit but his mom threw a hissy fit last time she came and we gave her a fancy ($200) air mattress to sleep on, bc "she already paid for the flight, she doesnt want to pay for a hotel too", so i can't imagine her opinion changing any time soon ::eye roll::

  
  

  thanks for the advice ladies!

  
  

  @chloe97 - he's actually at UofC, so the medical district is by my job but wouldn't be so convenient for him during his surgery rotations, so sadly we may be moving back down to HP instead of staying downtown... thanks though!!

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  March 2015

  redwoodoriginal said:

  thanks ladies. Yeah, @chloe97 and @lolo883 are right with our timeline issues... he did a combined md/phd program where his phd took 6 years, so we're a lot older than the average medical student, so waiting until we figure out residency placement isn't ideal for us, timewise. Also he really wants to be around a LOT (as in paternity leave) for the first few months of the baby's life, and spring of 4th yr med school is pretty ideal for that, since we've seen the majority of our friends who only did the MD portion, go through all of it and saw what was easier and how difficult kids in the first year of residency was for them. 

  
  

  I think staying put is the ideal answer, but he suddenly feels that it will be too cramped and we will all die. i felt that 4-5months of maybe outweigh moving, but we'll see, i guess...

  
  

  as far as family... my parents always stay in a hotel when they visit but his mom threw a hissy fit last time she came and we gave her a fancy ($200) air mattress to sleep on, bc "she already paid for the flight, she doesnt want to pay for a hotel too", so i can't imagine her opinion changing any time soon ::eye roll::

  
  

  thanks for the advice ladies!

  
  

  @chloe97 - he's actually at UofC, so the medical district is by my job but wouldn't be so convenient for him during his surgery rotations, so sadly we may be moving back down to HP instead of staying downtown... thanks though!!

  Super, lemme save you that money on a flight next time MIL, just stay home! >.<

  
  

  I'd recommend looking into decreasing clutter as much as you can, organization, maybe even smaller furniture to help your current place feel bigger.

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• KatieinBkln member

  

  March 2015 edited March 2015

  redwoodoriginal said:

  thanks ladies. Yeah, @chloe97 and @lolo883 are right with our timeline issues... he did a combined md/phd program where his phd took 6 years, so we're a lot older than the average medical student, so waiting until we figure out residency placement isn't ideal for us, timewise. Also he really wants to be around a LOT (as in paternity leave) for the first few months of the baby's life, and spring of 4th yr med school is pretty ideal for that, since we've seen the majority of our friends who only did the MD portion, go through all of it and saw what was easier and how difficult kids in the first year of residency was for them. 

  
  

  I think staying put is the ideal answer, but he suddenly feels that it will be too cramped and we will all die. i felt that 4-5months of maybe outweigh moving, but we'll see, i guess...

  
  

  as far as family... my parents always stay in a hotel when they visit but his mom threw a hissy fit last time she came and we gave her a fancy ($200) air mattress to sleep on, bc "she already paid for the flight, she doesnt want to pay for a hotel too", so i can't imagine her opinion changing any time soon ::eye roll::

  
  

  thanks for the advice ladies!

  
  

  @chloe97 - he's actually at UofC, so the medical district is by my job but wouldn't be so convenient for him during his surgery rotations, so sadly we may be moving back down to HP instead of staying downtown... thanks though!!

  I will never know where grown-ass adults get off whining instead of DOING. If you can't afford to fly/stay in hotel/see your grandkid, then don't go. Save money. Invite grandkid to see you! There are so many options that would solve the problem, but some people seem to prefer to be a jerk and complain rather than just fixing things. It never ceases to astound me.

  
  

  Seems like you have a good attitude about it, though. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

  
  

  This baby knows exactly how I feel

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