Things Just Got Real

ink365 · March 2015

Holy cow. We bought a ring! Well technically my BF bought a ring, but I got to pick it out.

So now I'm just waiting for the proposal. He wanted me to have a say in the ring selection, but says from here on out I will know nothing until he asks. I have no idea what he has cooking, so I'm hoping to still be surprised even though I know it's coming.

I'm dying to tell my parents, but I'm sworn to secrecy. So I guess for now I'll just have to be content with sharing my news with strangers on the internet.

Have any of you guys had a similar pre-engagement experience?

I don't want to start making any concrete plans until everything is one hundred percent official, buy any advice on how to pave the way for smooth wedding planning would be appreciated.

aliwis000 · March 2015

Congrats on picking the ring!

I was highly involved in mine too. In fact we had it custom made so I was at the design sessions and got to approve the wax molds. Once the final one was done I never saw the actual ring till he popped the question.

The best advice I can give is just to enjoy the moment. You only get one engagement..well you know what I mean.

So savor the time between now and then. Then once he does ask savor that time too. Unless there is a pressing reason to jump into wedding planning, like a super short engagement. Give yourselves a month or 2. My FI and I waited around 8 weeks to take any steps. I think this was great as it gave us time to just enjoy it. Plus my FI had been FREAKING OUT about proposing so the last thing he wanted to do was start planning, he just wanted to revel in his successful proposal.

Once you do start planning this website is a great resource for timelines and such. We hired a wedding planner but her timeline has matched the one on here pretty much perfectly so I think it is pretty solid.

Congratulations again!

bethsmiles · March 2015

I'm in a very similar position to you. My BF bought the ring about 2 weeks ago. I didn't pick it out but I picked 4 that I really liked and BF picked one of those. So now I'm just waiting for him to propose

My advice is to just enjoy this time and don't worry about wedding planning right now. When you do get engaged, these boards have great advice given by lots of awesome women so I highly suggest sticking around.

bethsmiles · March 2015

I'm in a very similar position to you. My BF bought the ring about 2 weeks ago. I didn't pick it out but I picked 4 that I really liked and BF picked one of those. So now I'm just waiting for him to propose

My advice is to just enjoy this time and don't worry about wedding planning right now. When you do get engaged, these boards have great advice given by lots of awesome women so I highly suggest sticking around.

Swazzle · March 2015

Hi and welcome to NEY!

I'm married now but I first started posting here when my H first asked if I wanted to go look at rings with him (June 2011). We looked a few times together so that I could decide what styles I liked best and then he ultimately made the final decision. I didn't know when he bought the ring or what it looked like. He planned to propose at the beginning of August but my grandfather passed away unexpectedly. I ended up getting engaged on a random Tuesday at the end of August and the ring was perfect

My best wedding planning advice:

Don't plan until you're engaged since that's what the engagement period is for. Things can change, your tastes can change, and since the wedding isn't all about you, you should really include the groom in the planning as well.
Regardless of how long you're engaged, you can get everything done. And if you don't, you're still going to be married to the person you love at the end of the day.
Put your guests first. Make sure they have a place to sit, food to eat, and something to drink. They should never have to open their wallet at your wedding.
Money comes with strings, if you don't want someone else jiggling the strings, pay for things yourself.

labro · March 2015

Everything @Swazzle said. There are women here who are planning their weddings in less than 4 month period of time, and women who have had longer. You definitely don't need to do anything to "smooth the way". Enjoy this time with your BF and try not to dwell on your impending proposal too much (I know how hard it can be!)! Any pics of the ring he picked out?

minskat30 · March 2015

H and I went ring shopping and designed my ring together so I knew it was coming. In fact, that is part of the reason I came on this board...to find other women who had been through something similar to keep me sane.

Those lovely women told me to just enjoy the moment now, knowing that he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. To savor the moment as a unique one in your life that is full of excitement and promise. I took those wise words to heart, time flew and he proposed before I knew it. Wedding planning was stressful (at least for me) so enjoy the calm before the storm.

ink365 · March 2015

Thanks for the advice guys. I'm surprised how many have had a similar experience.

My BF and I have had a few discussions about our expectations for the wedding and how we will handle input from our parents. It's hard not to talk about it, because we're both excited. But it is good to remember to sit back and enjoy the moment.

I didn't get a picture of the actual ring, but I've attached the image from their website. The diamond we picked out is a little more square than in the photo. We ended up going to Shane Co. We had gone to a smaller local boutique to look at vintage rings first and were a little apprehensive after that, but we ended up having a blast picking out the ring. Walking into a huge jewelry store after the tiny boutique was a bit intimidating, but the salesperson who helped us was great. We totally weren't planning on buying anything that day since it was our first looking, but we both loved the setting and diamond. So my BF just decided to go for it.

He's picking the ring up today but I won't get to see it until he proposes. Can't wait to share a picture of the real thing!

bethsmiles · March 2015

My BF bought my ring at Shane Co. too! The sales lady there was so wonderful!

ETA: And the sales person didn't bat an eye when BF and I said we wanted a sapphire instead of a diamond which was so nice after having diamonds shoved down our throats at places like Kay.

labro · March 2015

My H and I got our full wedding set from Shane Co. They were definitely easy to work with and their maintenance plan (that they provide for free) has been superb! They re-dipped my ring right before the wedding and they'll clean it whenever I walk in (it doesn't have to be every 6 months either). I can't wait to see the real thing on your finger!

nowittyusername · March 2015

labro said:
Everything @Swazzle said. There are women here who are planning their weddings in less than 4 month period of time, and women who have had longer. You definitely don't need to do anything to "smooth the way". Enjoy this time with your BF and try not to dwell on your impending proposal too much (I know how hard it can be!)! Any pics of the ring he picked out?

^^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^

teddygirl9 · March 2015

Yay! It's beautiful, and will look way better on your hand. I hope we get some hand shots!

nycgal85 · March 2015

Hi there! I'm in kind of a similar boat. I know that my BF has the ring because my bestie accidentally let it slip.

We had looked at rings last fall so he knows what I like and I told his sister everything and she was going with him to shop. I also went with another friend to Tiffany's to try on rings back in October (because why not, I tried on rings that were more than my annual salary!!! But at least I got an idea what I like).

I think they went over the holidays when I was with my family. So I'm just here waiting for him to propose...not so patiently. All I know is that it will be before his birthday beginning of May.

jenjen047 · March 2015

minskat30 said:
H and I went ring shopping and designed my ring together so I knew it was coming. In fact, that is part of the reason I came on this board...to find other women who had been through something similar to keep me sane. Those lovely women told me to just enjoy the moment now, knowing that he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. To savor the moment as a unique one in your life that is full of excitement and promise. I took those wise words to heart, time flew and he proposed before I knew it. Wedding planning was stressful (at least for me) so enjoy the calm before the storm.

That's a phenomenal perspective, thanks for sharing! BF and I are on the same page that engagement will come this year and I have told him my preferences for rings but I don't know if he has actually started shopping yet. I'll have to remind myself of what you said over the next however many months until he proposes!

@ink365 Gorgeous ring! Can't wait to see pics of the real thing! I would agree with PP that pre-planning is not necessary and to just try to enjoy the anticipation (easier said than done, I'm sure!). Keep us posted!

Loves2dream · March 2015

Yea, how exciting! Congratulations! How did he approach you with the idea to go shopping for it? I am on the fence as to whether or not I would want to be surprised or have a say in the ring. On the one hand, I am really picky but on the other I love the idea of having everything a total surprise!

Can't wait to hear the proposal details!

ink365 · March 2015

Loves2dream said:
How did he approach you with the idea to go shopping for it?

We decided earlier in the year we would start looking at rings in March. But he let me know early on that he wasn't going to buy a ring without me. His thinking was that I would be the one who has to wear it for the rest of my life and he wasn't going to risk getting something I wouldn't like. He's always been the kind that was willing to sacrifice the element of surprise a bit to make sure he gets something I really want, so I was more or less expecting that I would be involved in the ring selection.

He says he has the actual proposal all planned, and he's still intending for that part to be a surprise. On the one hand I do know that it's coming, but really I would have know any way because we've been talking about it for a while.

I'm eager to find out how he's going to propose. That part will still be a surprise, and that's enough for me.

phira · March 2015

Welcome! You must be really excited!

I just wanted to say that I definitely found that any planning I'd done before the engagement was seriously pointless. I recommend spending your time doing pretty much anything else instead. Like, my pinterest board was totally useless.

BreMR · March 2015

Hi! The lovely ladies before me gave you excellent advice. I was basically in your same shoes, my FI and I went shopping at ShaneCo where we got my setting (e-ring & band) but then we picked out the diamond at a private jeweler but I will tell you one thing... You never get this back... I know people had probably told me this and I was just so excited and wanted it to happen that I didn't get to enjoy the anticipation..

TRY to enjoy the anticipation

lavenderfields13 · March 2015

phira said:
Welcome! You must be really excited!

I just wanted to say that I definitely found that any planning I'd done before the engagement was seriously pointless. I recommend spending your time doing pretty much anything else instead. Like, my pinterest board was totally useless.

This. Just don't even bother before you're engaged. We will have been engaged for 1.5 years when we get married and I even changed the whole wedding "theme" during the engagement. I change my mind a lot. People that I thought we would have invited, we aren't and people I didn't think we'd invite we are.

And definitely just sit back and enjoy it for awhile, take it all in. I didn't- I started planning RIGHT away and I really wish I would have chilled for a little bit- even just a couple weeks. I overwhelmed myself and therefore my FI.

nycgal85 · March 2015

BreMR said:
Hi! The lovely ladies before me gave you excellent advice. I was basically in your same shoes, my FI and I went shopping at ShaneCo where we got my setting (e-ring & band) but then we picked out the diamond at a private jeweler but I will tell you one thing... You never get this back... I know people had probably told me this and I was just so excited and wanted it to happen that I didn't get to enjoy the anticipation..

TRY to enjoy the anticipation

This is my new favorite words of wisdom on this topic....I never thought of it like this, to enjoy this excitement and anticipation (I tend to see it as anxiety = negative). I'm now trying to focus on enjoying this feeling, thanks!!!

hashtag43016 · March 2015

I'm so happy I'm not the only one who's going through this! BF and I just went the other day to get the ring and now I'm waiting for the proposal. I'm trying not to put to much excitement into what's coming and I'm trying to focus on enjoying these last however many days with my BF and not my FI. (If that makes sense lol) Congrats on your ring and your soon to be proposal!

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