Prenup Spinoff - Wills

WinstonsGirl · March 2015

Ok, so what do you think?? DH and I have talked about getting one but we're not sure if we actually need it at the moment. We have no kids and aren't planning on having any. Currently, through marriage any bank accounts that aren't joint go to the spouse anyway. We're 50/50 on the house and we both have life insurance through work.

I absolutely think they're necessary if you have kids/dependants or want specific things going to specific people. Also, if you have specific wishes for funerals, organ donation, DNR, etc. DH and I have discussed that, so we do know what the other wants, though I suppose this won't help if we both go at the same time.

We can't really see anything in our lives that would require a will at this point. Tell me if we're wrong and should be getting one anyway.

JenLD2015 · March 2015

Depends on what state you live in, but how you may be treated post catastrophic accident could be affected. You can write a Do Not Resucitate (or DNR) form and have it notarized and placed in your medical chart.

Wills are used to avoid having your estate go to probate court, I believe. So if that matters to you, then yes...you can write one up on your own (I think, but check with your state),

daria24 · March 2015

We are never having children, but we really need to write up our Wills, DNR, and Power of Attorney agreements. Here's why.

1. If you don't have a will, depending on your state, assets may 100% automatically go to your spouse, or they may be splint between your spouse and children, or spouse and your parents. For instance, I know someone in Puerto Rico (which yes is a US territory and not a state) where her husband suddenly died. Their house, that they co-owned and had both their names on it-50% went to the wife and 50% went to the children. So she couldn't even keep her own house without buying out her children, which she couldn't do. So make sure you know your state/country's laws, and that your spouse will automatically get everything. You may be surprised.

2. There is always a chance that your spouse will be incapacitated or also deceased at the same time, so you want to designate who will make decisions/inherit in that event. Maybe your parents are elderly and you don't want them to automatically to have to decide what treatment to give you. Maybe your siblings know your wishes better, or your best friend.

KatWAG · March 2015

So a few years ago my boss died at his desk at work, on Valentines Day. It was horrible. What made it even worse was that he was married and had a 7 month old son.

We learned later that he never set up a trust, will, estate. No life insurance. Nothing. So when he passed, his wife had no idea what to do. It scared the crap out of me.

So when I was about 6 months pregnant, H and I met with an estate lawyer. We set up trusts for future children and wills. I feel so much more comfortable now knowing that my wishes (organ donation, financial, charities, funeral arrangements, life support, guardianship of my child, etc) are in writing.

Even if you don't have kids, I think it I always better to have everything clearly spelled out in writing. It removes all doubt.

WinstonsGirl · March 2015

We're in Alberta, so as far as I can tell, everything goes automatically to the spouse. I have thought about if both of us are injured/killed at the same time, but my parents feel the same about DNR/donation/death as I do, though I think it would be good to write that out.

I think it's something our parents/siblings should know too, but I was thinking in that case that the do it yourself wills might be ok. DH even suggested writing it down, signing it and giving it to family. I know that's not notarized by a lawyer, but it's something on paper at least. Even legal wills will get contested

julieanne912 · March 2015

My questions is... removing cost from the equation, what is your reasoning to NOT do a will?

WinstonsGirl · March 2015

I'm actually for getting one. I've been thinking about it for too long and just haven't gotten around to it. DH is the one who believe we don't need them for the above mentioned reasons (no kids, everything goes to the spouse). I know if I push it, he'd do it, but he's got me wondering if we really do need one or if we could just take care of the small bits ourselves (funeral wants, DNR, etc.)

Maybe I'm looking for reasons to convince him??

flyingfoxes · March 2015

I don't have one - but FI does. I'm guessing after we get married we will both have one. I'm all for getting one, I just haven't gotten around to doing it. I think for me, it's that I have never had exposure to an attorney so I am intimidated and have no idea how to even look for one.

KatWAG · March 2015

julieanne912 said:
My questions is... removing cost from the equation, what is your reasoning to NOT do a will?

The only reason I can think of for not getting one is you are completely certain what your final wishes are. In that case, I think it might be wise to wait until you figure that out. And then get a will.

lovemesomemonster · March 2015

FI and I have actually been talking about this lately.. we both have each other as our beneficiary for our retirement and life insurance, we are 26 and 27 and have no kids yet but we seem to have acquired a lot of assets quickly. With two houses, multiple savings/retirement accounts, and investment accounts we want to make absolutely sure that our loved ones end up with them instead of our hard work to attain them going back to the state. Not sure what all is covered under law already about our parents getting particular items but we want to be 100% sure that if we both go tomorrow there isn't a mess left behind for our families to figure out.

amelisha · March 2015

FI and I haven't done them yet, but we plan to as soon as we buy a house (within a year, we're planning.)

We probably don't want kids but it still seems crazy not to take that (super easy) step to get that stuff in writing.

Fortunately, his dad is a lawyer and comfortable doing this kind of paperwork, so we get these things done pretty efficiently.

photokitty · March 2015

We don't have wills currently. DH knows if anything were to happen to me that other than the jewelry he gave me, that my mom gets it. Otherwise everything is his to do whatever with. We don't have kids, when we do, we'll have a will.

I do have a living will. It is pre-wedding, so DH is not my healthcare POA, he's not thrilled - but he hasn't done anything to change it. I trust my parents would consult him, so it has't been a priority for me to change it - read: I'm lazy.

Jells2dot0 · March 2015

DH has a living trust. I am the successor trustee. He has the trust in place because he has kids from his previous marriage. He wanted his wishes in writing up front.

I'm considering getting one as well, especially after I have been so sick. Right now, my DH is my beneficiary on everything, but my brother is now having kids and I'd like for them to be the secondary beneficiaries (they are having twins!) if something were to happen to DH. It will just make things easier if I have it in writing since, other than DH, I have no direct heirs.

princessleia22 · March 2015

Don't automatically assume that accounts or assets will go to your spouse. That's not always the case and depending on your local laws, it may need to go to probate if you don't have a will specifically stating that he gets it. Even if your home is joint ownership, is it set up with rights of survivorship? Even joint mortgage can go through court if you don't specifically have it as joint with survivorship rights. And it's not always the case that your spouse will be the one to make decisions on medical care... remember the Terri Schiavo case?

DH and I haven't gotten around to doing wills or power of attorney or any of that yet either, but we do think it's important to do so. I am currently in the process of organizing our paperwork and finances and we have included that in my to do list, along with buying life insurance. We don't have kids and not too many large assets, but it just makes things easier if something were to happen. I'd hate to have something happen to me and he's stuck dealing with a fight or going to court to get items we thought would be his by default.

VulgarGirl · March 2015

Yup, we got wills. We also have power of attonerys.

We've got a shit ton of paperwork. Once Fufu arrives, we'll have a shit ton more.

The real gay agenda: paperwork.

KatWAG · March 2015

MagicInk said:
Yup, we got wills. We also have power of attonerys.

We've got a shit ton of paperwork. Once Fufu arrives, we'll have a shit ton more.

The real gay agenda: paperwork.

Fufu! Love it!

larrygaga · March 2015

I'm just going to throw this in here as a professional: don't just assume your DNRform will be honored or that your spouse gets to chose what happens. You need a power of attorney and every medical facility is different so a power of attorney kind of covers it. In my facility and in many of our sister facilities we need the power of attorney to let the spouse decide those things. I work in Michigan and I'm not sure those rules apply everywhere but it's a very good idea to look at the laws in your area to be sure. Just being a spouse doesn't cut it in most places. You would have to go to court to apply for guardianship and of course they would most likely give it to you but a guardian doesn't have as much say as a power of attorney. A power of attorney is appointed by the individual and a guardian is court appointed and is a difficult mess.

Assuming makes an ass out of u and me.

blabla89 · March 2015

I think it's absolutely important to have a will to ensure your wishes are taken care of. Even if your state's law says everything *should* go to your spouse, it is absolutely worth the time and trouble to ensure that that happens. It also allows you to name an executor that you trust to carry out your wishes.

This website has a lot of helpful information on legal documents and why they're necessary.

levioosa · March 2015

I've heard that living trusts are better than wills because they save your ass on taxes. I think the way it works is that instead of being a beneficiary who receives assets (and therefore you are taxed heavily on them) you are already listed as being a part of the trust, so it gets you around the super heavy tax death. Anyone know anything more about that?

loveislouder · March 2015

TL;DR - Just get a will and POA. Just do it.

I would absolutely advocate everyone having a will (and Power of Attorney) despite how much it might cost.

Powers of Attorney are important because you never know when you might have a stroke or get in a car accident, and if there is no one in place as POA, there is a VERY expensive court process to appoint someone in your family, or the Public Trustee will take over. (Where I'm from, anyway)

Wills are also important to ensure your final wishes are in place, regardless if you have a spouse. What happens if you get in a car accident and both you and your spouse pass away? In my province, if I were to die without a will, everything would go to FI, then my parents, then my siblings and down from there. But if I had any non-joint assets with no will, there would be a lengthy, expensive court process so the cost of the will would seem minute compared to that.

*Gets off soap box*

daria24 · March 2015

levioosa said:
I've heard that living trusts are better than wills because they save your ass on taxes. I think the way it works is that instead of being a beneficiary who receives assets (and therefore you are taxed heavily on them) you are already listed as being a part of the trust, so it gets you around the super heavy tax death. Anyone know anything more about that?

This is just personal experience, I'm not a lawyer-H's grandmother had about half her assets in a trust, and half not. She didn't want her family to have to pay taxes on the money that was tied up in funds/stock, so that was a in trust.

After my ILs went through the whole process as executors they said they would never put their money in a trust. The stuff that was not in a trust was paid out fairly quickly (and everyone who received it had to pay tax on it the next year). The stuff that was in a trust took almost a year to complete all the paper work and distribute, it was an enormous hassle.

I have no idea about how much tax was paid on the trust vs. non trust, I just know that my ILs considered the enormous amount of time they spent dealing with the trust was not worth the savings. Obviously grandma was not Warren Buffet, so we aren't talking about millions of dollars in inheritance. But it's best to discuss these issues with a tax accountant as well as an attorney and make a decision for your family.

amelisha · March 2015

levioosa said:
I've heard that living trusts are better than wills because they save your ass on taxes. I think the way it works is that instead of being a beneficiary who receives assets (and therefore you are taxed heavily on them) you are already listed as being a part of the trust, so it gets you around the super heavy tax death. Anyone know anything more about that?

I'm in Canada so it might be a bit different, but my parents and I went more this route. A little while ago they added me as 50% owner of their land titles and put me as "joint" (so I have full control) of all their bank accounts and investments (except a few that only one person can hold, where I'm sole beneficiary.) It's a little more extreme than most people take it, but I'm an only child and there is no question of how to split stuff up (and obviously they trust me not to spend their money...) so it made sense for us and will save us a lot of paperwork later. But my parents and I are the only family we have, so their lawyer told them it would be the simplest and least expensive way for the future. It stressed me out a ton at first to think about it but I now appreciate it because it makes me look much better on paper to have all that stuff in my name - getting a great mortgage rate etc will be a lot easier with so much equity, even though it's totally in name only.

blabla89 · March 2015

I don't know about the tax stuff, but when my mom found out she didn't have much time left, she put almost all of her assets in a trust for my brother and I. It didn't take long for us to access the money at all. It also turned out to be a good thing, because my estranged father went to probate court and moved to have himself put in charge of my mother's estate, and the court granted it. Since almost everything was in the trust rather than the estate, he wasn't able to take it from us.

MyNameIsNot · March 2015

I can't think of any good reasons not to have a will. It takes almost no time, and it gives you a little extra protection. Also, in many states, your will is automatically invalidated or easily challenged when you get married or divorced. I'm embarrassed to say that I still haven't updated mine since getting married. Oops.

If you work for a large company, check your benefits. Many companies provide legal "insurance" benefits that include a free or reduced cost will.

Prenup Spinoff - Wills

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